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 THe Secret of the Seekers 
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Post THe Secret of the Seekers
It came about in a distant time somewhere between past and present on the island of Epoh Rekees that a great and terrible thing was caused. No one knows why it happened, only that when it did; it cast the whole island into a shadow of shame. Yet this tragedy also made way for a hero, but alas, this is not his story. This tale belongs to the chosen twelve and the seekers who cursed them. Epoh Rekees was a small island in those days, but few live today who remember that time. The island came about by accident; a captain, named Levi by his mother but called Storm by others, was shipwrecked on the island’s shores. He was injured badly, and his ship had been completely destroyed. A woman named Henna had been marooned on the same shore not long before Storm arrived. Together they built a village, but their story is a sad one, meant for another time. The shores of Epoh Rekees were pure white in that time, and remain so today. A whole manner of trees and plants grew in the forests, and still do. The village was home to about 50 people at the time, mostly elders, and their families. Our story begins with Rufill, son of Glyndor…


“The waves lapped against the bare rock continuously, small fish nestled in the algae of the shallow water while a lone wolf balanced precariously on a thin ledge above a sheer drop. He wasn’t afraid, because he knew no fear. His gray-black fur flew gracefully around him as a breeze blew quietly across the shore. This wolf’s purpose, for all things must have a purpose, was to find something. What he was to find, he did not know, he only knew that it seemed sensible to look, for to find, one must first seek. He studied the lapping water carefully, as not to miss what might be hidden. He pondered whether what was to be sought lay hidden in some other place, beyond the waters of Epoh Rekees, perhaps. Ah, this was a new concept, and he considered it carefully, as he did all things. He was so intent on his pondering that he did not notice something begin to stir in the deeper places of the water, something evil. It watched as intently as a cat watches a mouse, and nothing could bring its attentions away from the lone wolf. It slowly began to come closer, for not only did it know no fear, but it did know power. As it drew close, it realized that the lone wolf was an easy prey, so caught was he in the ponderings of places beyond. It came closer still, for it knew that the lone wolf was an easy prey. It leapt from the water and took lone wolf in its jaws, and in that instant, lone wolf knew fear.” The fire seemed to blaze a little higher as Glyndor finished his story. Glyndor was the eldest elder in the village, and for that he was proud, for with age came wisdom. He was a small man, with wispy tufts of silver-white hair in a few places on his mostly bald head. His robes, usually brown or gray, were torn from wear. He needed help to walk, and even then he had a strange sense of pride about him, like a tree that has stood since the dawn of time and still isn’t ready to fall. His eyes, one green and one hazel, were still clear. And Glyndor was always ready to tell a story. His son, Rufill, was also small. He wasn’t really Glyndor’s son; he had been found, partly buried in the sand, 15 years ago. It had been clear that whoever had left him did not intend to come back, so Glyndor had decided to adopt him. Rufill had black hair with a streak of red in his bangs. His eyes were a cloudy gray. Unlike Glyndor, who was well known by all in the village, Rufill was known by hardly anyone, save for Rose, the girl who lived in the hut beside his. His robes were the sort that he could use to blend in with his surroundings. He preferred to be near no one, but on occasions such as the story fire he had no choice. Rufill stared wistfully into the flames, wishing that he could become as they were. He admired his father’s voice, though it did have a certain rasp, it was powerful and commanded attention. Rufill’s own voice, however, commanded nothing. It was barely audible even in the quietest places. A question came into his mind as the other village children crowded around his father. “What happened to lone wolf? Did he escape to find what he sought?” Glyndor was startled by the sound of his son’s voice, which was so rarely heard that most thought that he couldn’t speak. Glyndor rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “No one yet knows what happened to lone wolf, that story is yet unwritten. Some think that he was possessed by the evil when it caught him, and that that’s why wolves now prey on unwary villagers. Some say that he learned to fight; still others say that he was killed. But the real question to ask is: Lone wolf was distracted by his pondering of other places, so is it better to wonder if there is another place and lose yourself to find it, or to never look for it and thus never know?” Rufill stared yet again into the flames.

At the same time, on the other side of the island, a ghost was beginning to stir…

“It’s time.” Qara slithered in a circle around a blood red stone. Her scales glittered strangely in the moon light. She was a spirit, a dark one. The forest itself seemed to tremble as she circled the stone. Qara had a serpentine appearance, a frightening one. Her scales were marbled green and violet, with a black streak on her face. If she had truly been a snake, she would have been the largest snake there was. Yet one thing distinguished her from a true snake, she had two arms with which to pull herself along the ground. They weren’t strong enough to walk on; even if they were her snakelike body would forever be in the way. Her long tongue flicked out of her mouth, checking the stone. She cackled cruelly and hissed, “Seekers come forth from the depths of the stone. Seekers with demons, and fiends from the dark, rise. Seekers come forth, for our destiny is at hand!” As she finished speaking, something stirred within the stone, a sort of blackness. It wasn’t very big, just a barely perceivable speck of blackness. Qara hissed with pleasure and vanished.

Rufill hummed quietly under his breath into the fire. He occasionally added words to the melody, words from a language he did not know. He sang of things unknown to all but the farthest reaches of his mind, he sang, and fire responded. The flames leapt and seemed to dance before all who watched, transforming into scenes of a ship on the waves of an ocean, then an island with two people on it. The flames soared and became a man trying to find someone. They became a woman calling a name, and then the flames became a baby. At last they became dark, not black nor gray, just dark. An inexplicable sadness seemed to erupt from the fire itself, enveloping all who were near. An unspoken song suddenly seemed to radiate from the fire, becoming brighter and brighter. The fire became a flashing torrent of images, each passing so quickly that the eye could only detect them for a heartbeat. At last, the flames became a pack of running wolves, then flickered and went out. Rufill jumped slightly when the flames died down and wondered why so many people were staring at him. It was making him nervous, so he edged away from the crowd. He could hear their whispers of things like, “Firesing,” “A firesinger!” and other things of the like.

Rufill decided to look for Glyndor or Rose, the two people in whose company he felt comfortable. The village was alive on this night, and there were people everywhere. Tonight was special; it was the Story Fire, the night on which the village elders gathered to tell stories to younglings, this particular story fire being even more special because a villager had come of age. The lad who had come of age was named Glyndyn; he had been named after Glyndor. He was a tall lad, strong and agile, a good hunter and blacksmith as well. He had brown hair and brown eyes with flecks of gold in them. Rufill spotted Glyndyn talking to Rose and bristled for a moment. He realized that Glyndyn was only picking up something that Rose had dropped, so he relaxed. Rose had black hair and blue-gray eyes. She was the same age as Rufill, 15, but a half a head taller. She spotted Rufill and ran to him. “Rufill, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you! Has anyone told you what happened yet?” Rufill stared. “What what happened?” he smiled slightly, wondering if a set of twins was coming or something; Rose always tended to be calm and serene, unless something the slightest bit exciting happened, which she usually got overexcited about. “Come see what Wolf found in the forest,” Rose said. Wolf was another village boy; he was 17, nearly of age. His name wasn’t really ‘Wolf’, his mother and father had named him ‘Tarmin’, but he was a scavenger, so people had taken to calling him ‘Wolf’ and the name had stuck. Wolf had long black hair, held away from his face by a white headband. His eyes were a dark blue color and seemed to glow eerily in the dark. He had been exploring the island during the celebration and had found something most odd. Rufill couldn’t wait to see what Wolf had found; if Wolf considered his finding worthy of showing someone, it was interesting indeed. Rufill allowed Rose to lead him into the woods with Glyndyn following quietly behind.

Ghost wandered noiselessly through the forest, twig, and leaf making no sound as he seemingly glided over them. He paused at a slight rise in the ground, looked it over carefully, and leapt over it with the skill of a leopard. He was searching for something, something that had disturbed him greatly. Ghost was an outcast, completely unwanted and ignored by the villagers. He was 25 years old, a bit short for his age, thin, and very, very odd. His hair was light blond, nearly white. His skin had the slightly tan look of someone who works outside a lot. And his eyes were blood red with gold flecks and a slightly silver tinge. It wasn’t his appearance that made him an outcast, it was his age; Ghost had been 25 for as long as anyone could remember. And now he was looking for something… Two things, actually. The first thing was his identity; He hadn’t truly known who he was for as long as he could remember. The second thing was an object that radiated a mysterious aura, a sort of blue comet that had fallen from the sky. Ghost paused for a moment, panting. He had no idea where the comet had landed, but suddenly had the feeling that someone else was looking for it too. He growled slightly; it was, in his opinion, his comet, and no one else could have it. He spotted a glint in the top of a pine tree and nimbly made his way up. Now, you would probably know that pine trees are not the easiest things to climb, they can be quite annoying actually. But Ghost was, being a ghost, as light as air, so he made it to the top with no problem. The comet was there, smooth, and round, radiating power. Its color was a deep blue tinged with turquoise, amber, and violet. Ghost, being completely mesmerized, didn’t notice Qara pulling herself toward the tree. When he did see her, Ghost wasn’t the slightest bit worried; the snake couldn’t possibly climb the tree. But then Qara started shaking the tree. Ghost may have been lighter than air, but he was still solid, and still had 206 bones, all of which could be broken. Qara cackled; there was only one way down, and it would not be pleasant.


(What people should know about this is that the main charracters are the original twelve youths who were turned into jems in my poem where "The seekers chanted an eerie song..."


November 5th, 2009, 4:10 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
This story is pretty interesting in itself...but I was wondering if you have a plot or a summary planned out...just so I can get the gist of what's going on. :D I know a lot of things were pretty self-explanitory in the story but...I like summaries lol

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November 13th, 2009, 5:07 pm Profile
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Post Re: The Secret of the Seekers
Okay, here's the summery. :D (Glad you like it, man thanks. :D )

Okay, so 16 years ago this guy named Levi founded the island of Epoh Rekees. He married Henna and a year later they had a son. Henna's mother showed up and cursed both Henna and Levi. Henna went back to her homeland and Levi became this weird spirit creature. Their son, Rufill, was just left on the beach because the curse prevents Levi from getting near him. Then, of course, the man shows up and gets Rufill and takes care of him. 15 years later, the story begins. Basically, there are six main girl charecters and six main boys. Each one of them has a specific ability that they have to figure out. They're the first seekers. They have to each find a stone, one unlucky person has to take the master stone from Qara. These stones, when arranged correctly can undo the curse. Each stone has the power of one animal. But there is a downside. In undoing the curse, they also release twelve demonic spirits. These creatures come to Epoh Rekees and o this weird chanting for hours on end. The twelve kids stay to watch while the rest of the crowd goes on about their buissiness. The twelve kids are basically paralized because Qara wants them to have to pay for the set back. The twelve spirits leave eventually and go out into the rest of the world. Then a mage, an evil one, caomes and finds the kids. He turns them into gems with magic and hides each one in a different treasure trove. That's how the story ends, but then there's a sequil that I was also going to post that explains how it all ends. Do you want me to tell you about that one as well?

(I know it's a bit corny, but it's the only way i could get Tale of Twelve Pirates to make sense. :D )


November 14th, 2009, 12:26 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Well, it's not that corny lol :) But I like what you have so far! Very intriguing! And I like that there are pirates and mages in it... :D Sure I would like to know the sequel! That is, if you can keep up with your many stories you have posted on here lol :D

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November 15th, 2009, 4:17 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
I keep up with it all in my head on a daily basis, so it won't be a problem, as I have over twenty four going in my head at the present time. :lol:

Okay, so in the second series. (insanely deep breath...)

There's this kid named Rowan. His mom's really sick, so he's trying to make enough money to get her some medicine, but his dad keeps taking all the money so he can build a ship. He meets this pirate wolf named Captain and sells Rowan so he can more money toward building a ship. Rowan's blind, so Captain just keeps him instead of trying to sell him. Then he finds out that Rowan is the most important part of a prophicy that revolves around the original twelve who got turned into gems. Rowan meets this girl named Rowana and finds out that she's also part of the prophicy. In every book (There're twelve) another of the twelve new seekers is introduced. Thoughout the series they go to these weird places to get the gems. Then, when they get all twelve, they have to go to the twelve temples. Each gem can only be touched by one person and ezch temple can only be entered by one person, which is why all twelve of the new seekers have to be found. They go to each of the temples and save all of the people who got turned into gems, but then they have to deal with the rest of the prophicy. There used to be a king, and he really messed up, so now there's a war going on near the last temple. They find out that Ghost is Levi and Levi's Rufill's dad, then they find out about the war. A few years have gone by by this time and Rowan and Rowana are like twenty. They have a kid in the last book. Rowan gets killed during the last battle and his son becomes king. If you want to see the prophicies, go to the poems section. The one about the original seekers and the one about Rowan are in there. :D


November 15th, 2009, 4:59 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Hmm...odd how both Rowan and Rowana have similar names... ;) lol that's alright. Hey, really good summary here, though if I were were you, I'd probably change her name...but you don't have to if you don't want to it just makes things a little more subtle or something...but otherwise, how sad though...poor Rowan... :( This sounds amazing nonetheless...actually it sounds just a tad similar to a story I'm currently writing...it has seven girls who protect a certian place and they need seven gems that act as keys...actually, it's hardly similar except for the gem part so don't worry. :D lol. I hope to read more soon! :D

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November 16th, 2009, 1:30 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Yeah, I also think it's weird that Rowan and Rowana have similar names. But I can't change their name because it's their name. It's annoying. The story just pops into my head and I can't change anything except wording because it feels just wrong to change anything else, don't know why, but it's like that. One time I had a charecter who didn't even have a name until I figured out what it was supposed to be. His name's Avi, I tried to name him Seth, but as I got to know his charecter it just didn't work for him. I really hate it when that happens. Also, I don't like making them get married, but I can't not let them get married. It's sort of like I'm just writing the story down as someone else tells it to me, you know? :lol:

My first one was really really lame. I was in fifth grade and wrote it in a notebook, oh it was awful. So now I'm editing the whole thing so I'll be able to get it published. :lol:

Are you on be creative forums? That's where I'm posting fuller versions of the stories at, if you'd like to see more of them. Do you have your story posted anywhere? It sounds really cool. :D


November 16th, 2009, 2:51 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
lol, that's alright I know exactly how you feel. I have this thing where my character's last names must end in different letters, or begin with different letters. For example, my characters Eranice and Nanie? Ends in E. So I changed Eranice to Icsys, though I hated to do it... :(

Haha, that sounds like me! My first story was actually in sixth grade, but I know what you mean; my was just horrible! Distasteful! I go back now and I read through it I think; "What in the world was I THINKING?!" haha. But I'm not going to get it published it plagerizes like no other ;)

Be Creative forums? Never heard of it, I'm afraid I'm not on it and I'm probably not going to join a forum like that for my writing. I have this HUGE paranoia that someone might steal my story off the web... :( But I might come up with a story about something...that I might not get published, like one of my other stories Dating Destiny :P haha, it's as corny as it sounds. But thank you, well, the story with the Gems I do plan to get published, hopefully soon. But anyway, I might post something so I can get critiqued on my writing style, like what I need to do to fix things up or something like that.

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November 17th, 2009, 1:48 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
What I usually do is either put a totally fake version of the story up, that way if someone does highjack it I'll be able to publish the real one and not get fussed at for plagerism. Or, while I'm typing it into the computer I activate the date setting so that if someone tries to copy it, I'll be the one with the correct date on it, because it's impossible to get an incorrect date in microsoft word. :lol:

It's very odd. :lol:

I've got a plethera of weirdness that I plan to post on be creative.

The list ranges from:

Pirates to werewolves, to princes to gblins, to weirdos to wolves, to elves to mages, to cats to... never mind, you get the idea. All my stories are very odd to say the least. I have one that's a prequil to I Pledge Alligence. It's called Talibon Talismon. It's pretty cool. also set in the U.S. :D

So what's Dating Destiny about?


November 17th, 2009, 5:45 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
That sounds good, probably a smart way to write a story :D Wait, what do you mean you activate the date setting? Could you tell me how to do that so I know how to do it? I would rather show everyone my real story rather than make a copy of it with a totally different story line or something like that…that would be cool to do.

That’s alright though! It doesn’t sound at all weird to me; in fact, it’s quite rare to find people who write about different things. I like writing about vampires/werewolves, dragons, people, different worlds, and of course, SCI-FI! Lol. I have one story called DNA, about how the gov. is using kids as their next soldiers in war, which will be quite interesting because the kids have a DNA strand that gives them the abilities of that animal. :D

Dating Destiny was a random story I came up with, it doesn’t really have a plot, but it’s about this girl who finds out she’s a faerie and finds her real family in the Faerie Realm. This was before the Faerie Path btw, but yeah, she has 5 brothers and 5 sisters, and they each have a special ability. I dunno, it’s kind of stupid…haha. But I do have a story that’s also about faeries, like Morgan le Fay, and Viviane…it’s about the balance of light and dark, basically. :D

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November 17th, 2009, 4:56 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
That's not stupid. No story is really stupid. :D

If you have microsoft word 2007 there should be a setting somewhere that activates the date setting. I'll check and find out how you get to it. :D

I just started my very first fanfic, it isn't on a website yet, still on my computer. It's about Ranger's Apprentice. :D

I found all sorts of cool fanfic sites and stuff by google searching them. :D


November 17th, 2009, 6:45 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Aw, thanks. :D Well, I suppose...

Thanks a ton! I'm not good at figuring out the new stuff that Microsoft Word has produced I think we're still on 2001 or something like that...really really really old to me >.< haha

Coool! It sounds good! :D

Sweet! That's kind of how I found other sites like this one :) What was the one you were in? BeCreative? I'll have to look into that...and see what he site is all about. Is it good?

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November 18th, 2009, 1:57 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Aha, I just found out how you do it. Okay, there should be a tab that says inserts somewhere in the thing, I don't know about the 01 version, but I think there will be. In the Inserts tab you'll find a button that says Date/Time on it. Click that and it will put the currant date and time on the top of the document.

And yes, be creative is a good site, as long as you don't scroll too far down the list of the threads. There's like on topic that I know of in mature discussion that people post in alot, so it's visible near the bottom of the screen. But other than that it's a pretty good website. I haven't quite finished settig my stuff up on it though, so I don't have a story posted. But I do have like two poems up, and should get a story up tomorrow. I've decided to be confusing and post the Tale of Twelve Pirates before anything else. :lol:

If you get an account I think you'll like it. :D

I think they have a fan fiction section as well, which is where I'm going to post my ranger's apprentice fan fic. Talking to other up coming authors is really awesome. :D


November 18th, 2009, 2:47 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Alright, thanks, I'll look into that then :D

I looked into it, and I very well may join it. I saw your name so I knew I was in the right place lol. :D I'll have to decide what I'll put on there...hmm...but awesome! Once I join, I'll have to check out your poems! :D And yeah, talking to other possible authors is pretty cool...and exciting. lol.

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November 18th, 2009, 2:51 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Dude, one word: PARAGRAPHS! I managed to get through that, but I swear I missed like ... a third. Pleeeeeeeease put some paragraphs in so I can read it without spinning off track ... I know it's on a forum, but it makes it so much easier like you wouldn't believe. Even when the old guy is talking, you can still give birth to more paragraphs! Let "PARAGRAPHS GALORE" be your motto so Silv can read! DX

And BC is very good you writers. I'll probably go back on sometime soon. Might have to make a new account though.


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November 18th, 2009, 8:54 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
I know I have paragraph issuse... :D I get fussed at about it alot. I'll fix it later, but I have to leave in awhile. :D


November 18th, 2009, 6:45 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
On the site here, I suppose paragraphs aren't too important, but a little organization wouldn't hurt...well I mean, it is organized but...ah, never mind lol. It's fine, Curfew, whenever you want to fix them...so long as the story is good haha.

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November 19th, 2009, 2:18 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Paragraphing is quite an essential part of writing you know. And I don't know how Astral can get everything without reading very slowly, but I can't grasp half of what is there because it's such a block. There's no hesitation, your words aren't fitting together, you know? I'm not trying to diss you, it's just your paragraphs make things so much easier.

On the more serious side, I know you're willing to publish, but you must paragraph properly. Otherwise they'll just turn you down, no matter how good your idea is, if your words aren't working towards their full potential, you might as well have no character to your writing.

Again, not being harsh but I've noticed this in a few of your others. I don't know, maybe you paragraph them when you're posting it somewhere more pro like Be Creative. I'll try to help out here, if you like. I'll also comment, just a bit of crit since you haven't stated whether you really want it or not.

Comments in black
Other in green.

These are suggestions. Take or leave. But I really heavily advice on using the Pa.>'s!!!
Please don't be offended by me probably hacking your work. It is yours, I know, and you probably don't want help lol d= but here'ya anywayz.


Quote:
“The waves lapped against the bare rock continuously, small fish nestled in the algae of the shallow water while a lone wolf balanced precariously on a thin ledge above a sheer drop. {cut1}He wasn’t afraid, because he knew no fear. His gray-black fur flew gracefully around him as a breeze blew quietly across the shore. ]If this story is meant to be some famous passed-down legend that has a strong morale (eg. The Man of the Moon) I would personally not introduce it like that. Cause it doesn't sound like he's talking at all, and you want that balance when a character is telling a story =] I know the wolf is trying to witness everything but it is a story being told by someone. Like, it doesn't seem necessary to note the wolf has grey-black fur ... maybe he should notice something a little more ... symbolic. It's hard to explain, but the things the wolf is looking at is being stressed the wrong way ...
Pa.> {copy1}"He wasn’t afraid, because he knew no fear This wolf’s purpose, for all things must have a purpose, was to find something. What he was to find, he did not know, he only knew that it seemed sensible to look, for to find, one must first seek.
Pa.> "He studied the lapping water carefully, as not to miss what might be hidden. He pondered whether what was to be sought lay hidden in some other place, beyond the waters of Epoh Rekees, perhaps. Ah, but{?}this was a new concept, and he considered it carefully, as he did all things. He was so intent on his pondering that he did not notice something begin to stir in the deeper places of the water, something evil.
Pa.> "It watched as intently as a cat watches a mouse, and nothing could bring its attentions away from the lone wolf. It slowly began to come closer, for not only did it know no fear, but it did know power. As it drew close, it realized that the lone wolf was an easy prey, so caught was he in the ponderings of places beyond. It came closer still, for it knew the wolf was easy prey Repeating info.
Pa.> "It leapt from the water and took lone wolf in its jaws, and in that instant, lone wolf knew fear.”
Pa.>The fire seemed to blaze a little higher as Glyndor finished his story.
Pa.>Glyndor was the eldest elder in the village, and for that he was proud, for with age came wisdom. He was a small man, with wispy tufts of silver-white hair in a few places on his mostly bald head. His robes, usually brown or gray, were torn from wear. He needed help to walk, and even then he had a strange sense of pride about him, like a tree that has stood since the dawn of time and still isn’t ready to fall. His eyes, one green and one hazel, were still clear. And Glyndor was always ready to tell a story.
Pa.>His son, Rufill, was also small. He wasn’t really Glyndor’s son; he had been found, partly buried in the sand, 15 years ago. It had been clear that whoever had left him did not intend to come back, so Glyndor had decided to adopt him. >Rufill had black hair with a streak of red in his bangs.< Can I ask why?His eyes were a cloudy gray.
Pa.>Unlike Glyndor, who was well known by all in the village, Rufill was known by hardly anyone, save for Rose, the girl who lived in the hut beside his. His robes were the sort that he could use to blend in with his surroundings. He preferred to be near no one, but on occasions such as the story fire he had no choice. Rufill stared wistfully into the flames, wishing that he could become as they were. He admired his father’s voice, though it did have a certain rasp, it was powerful and commanded attention. Rufill’s own voice, however, commanded nothing. It was barely audible even in the quietest places.
Pa.> A question came into his mind as the other village children crowded around his father. “What happened to lone wolf? Did he escape to find what he sought?”
Pa.>Glyndor was startled by the sound of his son’s voice, which was so rarely heard that most thought that he couldn’t speak. He/Glyndor rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
Pa.>“No one yet knows what happened to lone wolf, that story is yet unwritten. Some think that he was possessed by the evil when it caught him, and that that’s why wolves now prey on unwary villagers. Some say that he learned to fight; still others say that he was killed. But the real question to ask is: Lone wolf was distracted by his pondering of other places, >so is it better to wonder if there is another place and lose yourself to find it, or to never look for it and thus never know?”< I don't know if it's better... I mean, lone wolf kinda got eaten cause of those issues lol.
Pa.> Rufill stared yet again into the flames.

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Last edited by Silverwolf on November 20th, 2009, 2:56 am, edited 4 times in total.

November 19th, 2009, 12:21 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Not to annoy you but, can you change it to a different font color? I'm sorry but I can't read some color fonts, I'm sort of old already and need tri focals. :D I just need the black to be changed to something a bit brighter, like blue maybe. The red was fine.

THe reasone it told the color of the fur is because the guy telling the story likes to really describe things, and everyone who's ever told the story mentions a defferent fur color. It gets mentioned again later in the story. They soon decide that the wolf represents something, thus the blue black color. The man telling the story had it right, but later they bring up that they've heard the story several times and it's always different. I dunno, guess I'll have to add more when I post it elsewhere. I got it from a story mad dad told me. :)

The reason it said the thing about not knowing fear is because it's a story, I wanted the guy to sound kind of old and, well I did it on purpose I don't know why. (Sorry for not knowing why.)

He says ah because that was what the wolf was thinking.

He repeats himself alot, it's part of his charecter.

The streak of red has to do with Rufill's mother, it gets mentioned later.

(This was like the... fifth story I wrote. Ever. ) :lol:


November 19th, 2009, 4:29 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
For me, it's not that hard to read because the story itself is easy to understand. I have to read other people's stories that are far far FAR worse than this so I think I can read her story without difficulty lol. :D And Curfew it's not horrible either so I hope you don't take it that way...

BTW, I joined Be Creative! :D lol. I'm still Astralwing, just to let you know. :)

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November 19th, 2009, 5:02 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Sweet, that's wicked. Lol, don't worry about it. Any reveiw is better than what my brother does. He reads it and won't say anything. :lol:


November 19th, 2009, 7:43 pm Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Curfewdawn wrote:
Not to annoy you but, can you change it to a different font color? I'm sorry but I can't read some color fonts, I'm sort of old already and need tri focals. :D I just need the black to be changed to something a bit brighter, like blue maybe. The red was fine.

THe reasone it told the color of the fur is because the guy telling the story likes to really describe things, and everyone who's ever told the story mentions a defferent fur color. It gets mentioned again later in the story. They soon decide that the wolf represents something, thus the blue black color. The man telling the story had it right, but later they bring up that they've heard the story several times and it's always different. I dunno, guess I'll have to add more when I post it elsewhere. I got it from a story mad dad told me. :)

The reason it said the thing about not knowing fear is because it's a story, I wanted the guy to sound kind of old and, well I did it on purpose I don't know why. (Sorry for not knowing why.)

He says ah because that was what the wolf was thinking.

He repeats himself alot, it's part of his charecter.

The streak of red has to do with Rufill's mother, it gets mentioned later.

(This was like the... fifth story I wrote. Ever. ) :lol:


No prob. Green ok?

Oh ok. Maybe you should stress that a little more. Like, I dunno, "His fur was the blackest you'd ever see, like he was a solid shadow with wisps of grey" just an example. Did your dad tell you this story? o.o

Did I comment on that?

Yeah I know, it was no big deal but I just threw in the "but" because that sentence looked like it needed a "but" =} It wasn't a comment

Maybe you should stress that a little more too. Just cause it didn't come across as so.

Oh, lol. I was just wondering why. He is human, right?

I like this story, its just annoying people like me can't read like that lol. There was nothing wrong with your writing at all. You just needed the paragraphs. And I swapped around one sentence and put it somewhere else to make it flow a little more.

The legend is good as well, though it does seem to miss something ... You've read Eragon, yeah? Turn to page 31 where Brom is talking about the Riders and kinda take note on the elements of how CP wrote him saying it. But either either.
[Btw, if I'm annoying you don't be afraid to shout out. I know I'm not perfect in writing and sometimes I miss reeeeaaallly stupid things I should've noticed. But that's why other readers are good lol]

Like, introduce maybe with a statement of time. Like "Long ago" or "before so and so".

[I have a feeling I'm irritating you]

[so this'll probably irritate you alot]

[a real lot]

[you're allowed to scream at me]

Roughly, I would probably write something like this, but I'll change some things around just to give you an idea. Like, I'll put in a shy fox instead of a fearless wolf.:

"Long ago, just as the dawn of humans grew nigh, walked a shy fox. Shy fox astonished those in his wake with his fur, so red he appeared a solid flame trailing wisps of brown. He was a spirit haunting the earth yet was a creature without confidence. But shy fox could read.
"He could read the swirls of the ocean, and the mien of the fish in the rivers. He could read the growth of the forests and even the peaks of the mountains, but he still read himself as only a pinprick amongst it all.
"Until one day he was wrong ..."

-.o I would not bother if I thought this was a pile of crud.
And this is your work, so, again, you can get angry at me all you like.







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November 20th, 2009, 3:34 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Whhhaaaaaaaattt? A fox? Yours was a good idea, but I can't change his whole species :lol:

I can't even change a name without feeling guilty... Though I promise there are foxes in the story later, as each of the 24/12/12 can turn into an animal. :lol:

No, you aren't annoying me at all, don't worry about it. :D :D


November 21st, 2009, 12:37 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
lol, well, I suppose you'll have to do whatever you can then. :) So...when are we gonna see more of this story anyway? ;)

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November 21st, 2009, 3:01 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Lol, sorry. I'll go post it now.

I was just putting part of it up on this site to see if people liked the general idea. Sorry, I kept getting distracted and not posting it on the other site, I'll go do that. :D


November 21st, 2009, 3:57 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Curfewdawn wrote:
Whhhaaaaaaaattt? A fox? Yours was a good idea, but I can't change his whole species :lol:

I can't even change a name without feeling guilty... Though I promise there are foxes in the story later, as each of the 24/12/12 can turn into an animal. :lol:

No, you aren't annoying me at all, don't worry about it. :D :D


LOL no, no, no, that was as an example xDD


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November 21st, 2009, 10:34 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Whoo hoo! :D I'm excited to read it now!!! lol.

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November 22nd, 2009, 2:41 am Profile
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Post Re: THe Secret of the Seekers
Okay, it should be up in a few minutes(Had a great granddad crisis, that's why it didn't get posted when I said it would, sorry) :D


November 23rd, 2009, 10:15 pm Profile
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