Wasn't exactly sure where to place this and what to name the topic. But, as some of you know things with me went downhill. For example, I began quiting all the roleplays I was in immediatly.

Unfortunately, for some years I have had the thoughts of a suicidle person. And lately they've been getting worse. As far as nothing too dramatic happens, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to kill myself. Yes, I do know that suicide is not the answer, etc.... Reasons I gave why I was leaving the roleplays wasn't the truth. It was the over-exaggerating emotions I was having. It's also why I've basically stopped posting on the SF as well. I do try to think happy thoughts and all that, but the mood swings get pretty horrible.

Well, that's as much as I can explain for now. My brain has been dead the past days. My depression has also been making me fail school too.
Sorry if I frustrated any of you. Hope this is enough to help explain why I did things. Sorry.

well i hope things start looking on the brighter sides for u!!! i hope u start feeling better soon!!

Well Kerstov, I've been contemplating what I should say and I can't think of anything but the truth. I've had the same problem that you have for a long time. I don't know where would be if I didn't have SF. Well probably in the ground.... but instead I got on SF and I got better. Everyone here is so helpful and caring.... Recently my life took a turn for the worst but several people helped me and now I'm better than I was. Not completely alright, but I'm doing better. If ever you want to talk, I promise I'll listen. Even if its in the middle of the night, I'll listen.
Hugs and love, GA.

well, kerstov, i dont have much to say except for the fact that you're not alone in this matter as a couple of ppl have already stated. myself now included. i myself have had thoughts of suicide. it would end all the problems, wouldnt it?
no, not really. i have to come to find that we are here for a purpose (once again, my post is going to be cut in half because "religion"). if that purpose were to die today, we would die, but definitely not by our own choosing. our choice is not to decide whether to live or die today, our choice is how we are going to live the precious days (if even) we have left. if this moment was your last, how would you want to remember it. would you want to be having a good influence on someone, or would you have to remember your last moment as being your worst? do you want to remember yourself living your last days in depression, or do you want to live life to what life will give you?

i hope that didnt come off wrong, but that has helped me out alot.....that, and sf......



oh, and im like almost always here if you need to talk to me.....im surprisingly a good listener......

i find it strange that those words came from my mouth.....totally surprising.....

i suppose....now if only that writer could get the 7th chapter of the book done.....ugh, i hate war chapters.....

I can see how it helped you out a lot. But, the reason why things like that don't help me is because I can point out so many ways that make it both completely right and completely wrong, helplessly. So, my mind ends up making things like that neutral.