This isn't reli funi part from some ppl hu do find it funi...

Whats brown and sticky????














A Stick!!!

haha, funny, but not funny if you know what i mean. like, its clever, but not like: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Firetongue, why did the chicken cross the road didn't really have an answer. i just couldn't think of any jokes at all, other than that, and couldn't decide on which of the 176,927,561,143,999 answers to use.

ummm........ I dont get it. anyways heres one

there was a priest, a guy smoking a cigar, and a soldier on a plane,
then the priest accidentally dropped his bible. he asked the pilot if he could go get his bible and the pilot said wait until the plane lands. then
the guy smoking dropped his cigar and got the same answer from the
pilot. then the soldier dropped his grenade out the window and the same thing happened. when the plane landed, the priest went to look for his bible, and then he saw a little boy crying, so he said little boy why are you crying? the little boy said well my dad was yelling at me, when suddenly a bible hit him on the head! then the smoking guy was walking down the street when he saw a little boy crying so he said little boy why are you crying? the little boy said well, my dad was making yelling at people to stop smoking when suddenly a cigar fell from the sky and burned his coat! then the soldier was looking for his grenade when he saw a little boy laughing so hard he was crying so he said little boy why are you laughing so hard youre crying? the little boy said well, my dad went into the bathroom and he farted, then the bathroom blew up!

Beat me to it!
Actual Police Quotes

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

The joke previously posted.

EDIT:My joke is gone, because some people might not approve.

ha thats a good one. my dad is a wine maker he would love that one. lol

what do you call a cow that doesnt give milk?

a milk dud.

what do you call a cow that doesnt have any legs?

ground beef.

Q: How many Vikings does it take to win a Superbowl?
A: No one knows, and we may never find out!

Q: Why are football stadiums always cool?
A: Because they're full of fans.

Yeah, that could be taken as an insult, not a joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was too stupid to stay where it was.

lol!
yo momma is so stinky, she has to creep up on bathwater!

yo momma's so fat, when she wears a medallion it turns into a choker!
^
that one was prolly not as funny as the first one cuz i made it up!

What do you get when you give Dick Cheney(US's VP) a gun?






Trouble.

Why are rivers so rich?

They hav banks!!


Why did the man freeze his cash?

He wanted col hard cash!

LOL! Those were kinda corny!

A man is driving back home. A policeman pulls him over and asks for his license and id. The man looks familiar to the policeman and his name rings a bell. The officer asks:
"Where are you going"
"home officer"
"Are you drunk?"
the man is drunk but he doesn't want to say it.
" You look familiar are you from around here?'' the officer asks.
"I am the school's teacher here."
Suddenly the officer looks at him with an evil smile and says:
" You swine! I can't believe it. I have been waiting for this day for 15 years!"

lol thats kinda funny but not bad......... I have one thats really stupid...



Once there was a guy that was going to kill himself by jumping off a cliff because he didn't have a good news story. 2 other guy s came and asked "what are you doing" the news guy said "killing myself wana join me?" "sure" they reply. They get ready to jump off the cliff they get a running start and just before the news guy gets to the edge he stops and the other 2 guys run off the cliff. The news guy says "finnaly a good story to wright about!"


Stupid i know.

That's not too bad, I've told worse

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
"OW, &@%#*@&*#@ BAR!" they all yell, and they all walk home.

Oh man, this topic should be renamed REALLY BAD JOKES
I've contributed my fair share of them, so no one get hot and bothered

Not mine obviously, but true enough to be funny....especially if you have ever met some "good old boys" or diehards.....

Survivor for Alabamans

With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor", Alabamans have made their own version.
Contestants are given a pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.

lol.

@kotor: some of these jokes are actually pretty funny!

Yo Mama is so ugly… when she jumped in the bath, the water jumped out.

Yo mama's so fat... when she went on a diet, Bluebell Ice-cream went outta business.

lol! both are funny i wish i had another 1.

lol that was funny. some of these are really great!

There were theses 3 girls who lived with their dad.
1st daughter: Daddy, why is my name Rose.
Dad: Because, when you were a baby, you were hit in the head with a rose.
2nd Daughter: Why is my name Daisy?
Dad: When you were a baby, you were hit in the head with a daisy.
3rd daughter: nyah balg nmaf laygh!
Dad: Shut up, Cinderblock!

lol. that's funny!

A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up."

Right away, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

lol great one thats never gonna happen!

i have LOTS of jokes but i'm only gonna put a few up on here.....here's one that i find really funny.


After hearing a shot, Hank ran next door and found his friend Tony crying. "Say, what's wrong?" Hank asked.
Tony sobbed, "I had to shoot my dog."
Hank said, "My God! Was he mad?"
Tony replied, "Well, he wasn't exactly overjoyed."




A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "Yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".



A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. After one week, a test was held. The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk.” This is the worst test I have ever given.” A teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have flunked the test. What's your name?” The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said: "You tell me...


What’s a dumber then 3 brunettes building a house underwater?




A: 3 blondes trying to burn it down!