lol. In my opinion, no one would want to copy this, but I'm critical of myself.

Here's the prologue. If you like it, I'll type more, but if you don't, that's fine. Don't be afraid to say, "Dude, that's terrible!!" lol. My friend gives me that all the time, but it builds my book up to a new level.


I'm really nervous about letting people read this, but I'm going to have to do it one day, so here goes...

Prologue

The time of the dragons was a glorious time. Everywhere you looked, you could see the colors red and blue reflected from the luminous scales. But this time was not meant to be.
One by one, the dragons began to go extinct. How? Why? Some say it was because of the mysterious black dragon. A dragon that hunted other dragons. One faster, more agile, and more powerful than any dragon that ever had been or could be born. Some say…… But the how and why is another story.
This story is about the people who thought that it would be better if dragons were still alive. Some thought this because they just wanted to see the beauty, to capture it for all eternity. Others thought that the dragons might actually help the environment and the eco system; they might restore natural order. And others thought about the money. The money they could make off the zoos, the mini-pets, the special food, and on and on. But while the first two groups just dreamed about the possibilities, the last group made an effort to accomplish their dreams.
And they did. Twenty years and $3.5 billion later, they came out with the first genetically recreated dragon. But they did not go public with their creation. They wanted to perfect it and make more of it.
This is also the story of how two kids and and one dog became involved in the greatest battle. The battle between life and death. Between right and wrong. The battle for the future of a race of creatures.




So...? Thank-you for reading this, and thank-you for any compliments (and criticism, it's all good) that you may give.

thanx. lol. And SJ is fine with me. my pen name is kinda long...um, I guess here's more. If it's that good, though, I hope nobody steals it. oh, well, if they do, it's still in the developing stages, so I can come up with better.

I

Fifteen-year-old Simon and fourteen-year-old Selah chased after Shiloh, laughing so hard that it was almost impossible to run.
Eventually, the inevitable became present, and Simon and Selah collapsed on the sand.
“Alright!” Selah yelled to Shiloh. “We give up!”
“Yeah!” Simon agreed. “Now come ‘ere!”
Shiloh, the beautiful three-year-old golden retriever, looked at them with her impassive amber eyes. After looking at them with the eyes of victory, she barked once and slowly and nobly walked over to them.
After watching Shiloh cover over half the distance between them, Selah yelled, “Get over here, you big drama dog!”
Right after she said that, Shiloh bounded towards them with an insane amount of energy and began to run around them while licking them.
“Okay, okay!” Simon laughed. “Enough!”
Shiloh barked and ran towards the ocean.
“What do you want, huh? We’re tired!”
Shiloh barked twice and gestured towards the water. Simon and Selah reluctantly got up and ran after her.
When they caught up, Simon said, “We should probably get home.”
“You can’t go for one game of fetch?” Selah asked with eyes mimicking those of Shiloh’s.
Simon turned away to avoid the begging, pleading eyes and said, “No.”
“You want to vote?”
“Why do I feel like this is not going to go my way?”
Selah ignored his rhetorical question and said, “All who vote for playing in the ocean say so now.”
Shiloh barked and Selah said, “I.”
“Why do I try?”
Selah laughed as she picked up a stick and threw it into the ocean as Selah swam after it.
Shiloh brought the stick back and dropped it at Selah’s feet and ran back and forth at Selah’s feet until Selah threw the stick back into the ocean.
When Shiloh came back the next time, she didn’t have the stick in her mouth.
“What do you have there, girl?” Selah asked.
As Shiloh dropped the thing in front of Selah, Simon said, “I think it’s a briefcase of some kind.”
“Duh.”
The briefcase was silver, shiny, and had little bumps at regular intervals on it.
“How do you open it?” Selah asked.
“That’s what doesn’t make sense. There’s no catch to open it. But it looks like there’s a port on the side of it that I can plug into my computer. So I guess I’ll tell you what it is tomorrow.”
“Okay."
Shiloh ran ahead and Selah ran after her, yelling, “Wait up!”
Simon smiled as he went home, but didn’t notice the pair of eyes glaring at him as he went.


Back at his house, Simon fired up his computer. While he was waiting, he looked at the picture on the wall. It was a picture of Selah, Shiloh, and himself running around on the beach, trying to keep a Frisbee away from Shiloh.
I couldn’t ask for a better friend, Simon thought.
By then, his computer had fired up. He logged in and then plugged the briefcase into the U.S.B. port of his computer. Almost instantly, the briefcase launched a program. Once loaded, a screen popped up that said:


Welcome to D.E.I.
What would you like to do
with Briefcase #051?


and below it, options that said:


`Find out more about D.E.I.
`Open it
`Enclose it with a super-secret password
`Self-destruct it


and many more options that Simon didn't understand.
It must belong to some high-ranking business, Simon thought.
Not wanting to read the mumbo jumbo of corporate business, Simon just clicked on "open it."
Immediately, the briefcase opened. The whole inside was covered with styrofoam, except for a little spot in the middle in which was a blue, translucent, spherical stone about the size of Simon's palm.
A bit disappointed, Simon put the stone back into the briefcase and shut the lid.
As Simon went to sleep that night, he thought, What is that thing? Why was it put in such a big case? Why is it so important? Where did it come from? Maybe Selah can help figure out what it is. Selah...Selah...Selah...
Simon fell asleep repeating the name over and over in his mind.

*****

Eric Polani sat in his office, thinking, Why am I surrounded by fools and idiots?
At that moment, there was a timid tapping on the door of his office. He knew who it was: Derek Smirtz. A stupid assistant if one ever existed. But, he had his uses.
"You fool!" Polani yelled. "Stop tapping on the door like a timid turtle and get your butt in here!"
"Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!" Smirtz fumbled with the words as he entered the office.
"What is it?"
"It's just as you suspected, sir. Bohard or somebody else has the briefcase and logged onto the program. So now we can track them."
"Good. Now go down there and get the briefcase. And I don't care who has it. Get it...at all costs. You know what that means, right?"
"Yes, sir," Smirtz said, and proceeded to leace the office.
"And Smirtz," Polani said, halting him.
"Yes, sir?"
"Don't fail this time."
Smirtz nodded in agreement and left.




Hope you like the first chapter. It's kind of rough, but...

yes, it is. you might want to remember who Smirtz is supposed to be looking for, because he pops up again at the end of this chapter in a subtle way. Okay, here's chap. 2


II

The next day, Selah came over and watched as Simon opened the briefcase.
"If this belongs to some high-ranking company, do you really think we should open it?" Selah asked.
"What are they going to do, sue us?"
"Yeah, maybe."
"But what is it?"
"I don't know. Maybe Ms. Hickerly, our science teacher, can identify it."
"Okay. But we better go or we're going to miss the bus."
So Simon took the stone out and put it into his backpack and closed the lid of the briefcase.
As Simon and Selah proceeded down the stairs and out the door, Simon yelled, "See you later, Mom!"
"Okay! Have a good day!"
While they were waiting for the bus, Simon looked across the street and saw a creepy man with hooded eyes and a pointed nose glaring at him. Simon was about to point it out to Selah when a big semi drove in front of them. When it passed, the creepy man was gone.
It must have been my imagination, Simon thought, but looking down at Shiloh, he saw that her hair was bristling.
Simon knelt down and asked, "Did you see it, too, Shiloh?"
"See what?" Selah asked.
Simon stood up and said, "I thought I saw a creepy man glaring at me from across the street."
"And I think you should back off the coffee in the mornings. It's making you see things."
"Ah, but then poor Mr. Huffard would have the unfortunate pleasure of watching me sleep through his class."
Selah laughed and the bus arrived.
"See you later, Shiloh," Selah said as they got onto the bus.


After school, Simon met up with Selah at her locker and they both went to Ms. Hickerly's room.
"Ah, Simon and Selah, how surprising to actually see you after school. What can I do for you?"
"We would like to identify what type of stone this is," Simon said as he drew the stone out of his backpack.
"Wow!" Ms. Hickerly exclaimed. "It's beautiful! Where did you find it?"
"On the beach."
"Someone must have lost it in the ocean. What a shame. I'm guessing that it's a type of sapphire, though. I've never seen this type, though. Most sapphires are transparent, but this one isn't."
"How much is it worth?"
"Should've known that all you'd be concerned about was the price. Beauty is lost on you. But since you asked, I'll tell you. Since this one isn't transparent, I'd say it's probably worth about one hundred dollars."
"Only one hundred?!? But the thing is the size of my palm!"
"Size does not matter. What matters is cut and clarity, and this has neither. While smooth, it does not have a gemstone-type cut. Now, I'm no expert, so I may be wrong. Take it to a professional if you will, but I bid you a good day," she said, and left.
"Teachers," Simon muttered.
As Simon and Selah left the building, Selah asked, "Why did you ask about the value?"
"Because I was just wondering about why a business would have a stone like this. And why was it packed in such a professional-looking briefcase with the capability of high-tech security for something only worth one hundred dollars? There's definitely something more behind this."
"So you weren't interested in the money?"
"Well, it kind of was."
"Simon..." Selah sighed.
"What? Simon likes games, games like stores, and stores like money."
"But we've got more important things here. This could belong to someone really important. Or maybe it's some new terrorist technology. We should turn it into the police either way."
"Or," Simon objected, "maybe, just maybe, we were meant to have it."
"Simon, this isn't a fairy tale where some poor kid who has the roughest luck all of a sudden finds a special gift that accidentally falls from the sky right next to him and he lives happily ever after."
"Well, when you put it that way..."
"Look, let's just give it to the police."
"You're right," Simon said as he thought of a new idea. "Because we'll turn it into the police and they'll give us a reward."
"It's not always about the money, you know. It's about doing the right thing."
"But money..."
"Is the root of all evil."
"Touche. You win this round, but money will triumph again."
As Simon said this, they reached the curb. As they were waiting for their parents to pick them up, a police car pulled up next to them. Simon and Selah watched as the officer got out of his car and approached them.
"Are you Simon?" the officer asked.
"Yes."
"Son, you need to come with me. Like right now. It involves your parents."
Normally, Simon would've asked for some I.D. on the cop, but the urgency in the officer's voice left no room for questioning. So instead, Simon and Selah got into the car.
The whole ten minute drive was taken in silence. Neither Simon nor Selah dared ask the question "What happened?" for fear of finding out what really did happen.
When they arrived at Simon's house, the sight that met Simon's eyes left him dumbfounded.
His whole house was in flames. Part of the roof had already collapsed, and the rest was almost there. The shape of the house was barely visible through all the flames.
Once Simon regained his composure, he instantly rushed out of the car and started to run towards the house, but was held back by the officer.
"Look, son," the officer reasoned with him, "you can't go in there. You'll burn alive."
"I don't care!" Simon yelled, struggling to get free of the officer's grip. "My parents are in there!"
"Do you think that you're going to do them any favors by going in there? What if they got out and you're still in there? What then? It's better if you stay here and let the firemen do their job."
Simon nodded, defeated, and slumped to the ground, his back leaned against the squad car, his mind and body too anxious to pace.
Five eternally long minutes later, the firemen came out with Simon's parents. The officer once again restrained Simon from running to them and said, "You'd get in the way. I'll go talk to them."
So the officer walked over to the firemen. When he came back, Simon asked, "How are they?"
"They're...they're dead. I'm sorry."
"No, you're not!" Simon yelled as tears started rolling down his face. "I could've saved them! You...you let them die!"
"Simon..."
"No!" Simon yelled and started backing away. "Stay away from me! Everybody, just stay away!"
And he turned and fled.
At tthat time, a man approached and said to Selah, "Hello, I'm Detective Bohard."
"And I'm Selah."
"Yes, I know. Where did your friend go?"
"To his special place. I don't know where it is, but he goes there a lot. He'll be back soon."
"He better be. We've got to ask him some questions."
"Why? What did he do?"
"Oh, nothing. But this fire wasn't an accident. So we need to know what happened and catch whoever did this. I guess we can start with you, though. Has anything weird happened in the last couple of days? We need to know everything, so please don't leave anything out."
And so Selah told everything.


I hope you don't mind all the dialogue. I do that a lot.

Good job I like it. Keep up the good work!

I think you'd be a good screenplay writer. A lot of your dialogue is really good. Perhaps you'd actually be better at that. Your writing other than dialogue could use some improvement, but you wouldn't need that much detail in a screenplay.

Just a thought. This story is extremely interesting though, keep it up!

thanx, dark dragon and dracoaestas. im working on the third chapter, so it should be out soon. hey, it might be a movie one day. better than the crap Hollywood's putting out now.


stranger things have happened. (quote from movie, i forget which one.)

yeah, they are kind of short. That's been my main problem making this into a book. oh, well. im kinda aiming for kids who don't want to read, anyway, so long chapters would kinda bore them.
at least this is better than my first book. the chaps. were ten times as short. lol.


III

Simon didn't stop running until he reached his special place. It was nearly a one mile run, but adrenaline pushed him onwards.
His special place was a sand dune that he had carved out on the inside and put support beams up. A nice little alcove that would face the sunset, a place for Simon to recollect his thoughts.
What am I going to do now? My parents are gone, I've got no place to go. The police are probably going to send me off to some orphanage until I can take care of myself. But that would take me away from Selah and Shiloh, and they're all I've got left now. Oh, what am I going to do? Simon thought despairingly.
Why did this have to happen? Why me? Why now? Everything was going great...until now. But what's now? What's happened different that would make this happen? Nothing...except for that briefcase with the stone in it appearing. And that creepy man. I bet he's behind it. He probably wants the stone back. And that officer who wouldn't let me save my parents is probably in it, too, Simon began irrationally thinking. And they've got Selah, too. I've got to get back to her. We can get rid of this rock and move somewhere else and start over.
And so he was about to run when his backpack started vibrating. When he opened it, everything was fine. Deciding to get rid of the stone right then and there, he picked it up to throw it into the ocean when it vibrated again and cracked. Surprised, he dropped it as more cracks appeared and a tiny creature emerged. Without hesitation, he broke out running back towards his house.
Around halfway back, a man appeared and the world turned black.

*****

When Simon awoke, it was dark. There was a fire, but nobody was there. His hands were bound in front of him, but he was still able to get up. His sense of direction lost, he got up and just started running.
He made it fifty yards before a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and roughly turned him around.
"You're not very smart, kid. Not sit down," the man said and shoved Simon down to the ground.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Marcus Bohard. Where's the stone?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play stupid, kid. Your friend told me everything."
"You coward! What did you do to her? Where is she?"
"She's fine, she's fine," Marcus said. "Now, where is it?"
Simon figured that this guy already knew everything, and that telling him might help Selah and get rid of the stone at the same time, so he said, "It hatched."
"Hatched?!?" Marcus exclaimed, and began to curse vehemently.
When he calmed down, Simon asked him, "You killed my parents, didn't you?"
"No."
"You wanted the stone back, so you went to my house and when you couldn't find it, you burned my house down."
"That's not what happened!"
"Then what happened?" Simon asked.
"I guess it won't hurt to tell you the story. We're going to be spending a lot of time together. Now listen closely.
"Twenty-five years ago," he continued, "a couple of very wealthy men wanted to bring back the dragons. They figured that they could make a lot of money off of them. And so they formed a company and called it D.E.I., or Dragons Engineering Incorporated. And for twenty years, scientists worked on bringing the dragons back.
"At the end of those twenty years, they finally succeeded with re-creating the first dragon. But this dragon had many flaws. It was much too small, had no muscle strength at all, couldn't breathe fire, and was the ugliest color. And so they worked on fixing these flaws for the next five years. When version fifty-one came out, it was perfect. The stone you have is number two of version fifty-one."
"What does this have to do with you burning my house down?" Simon asked.
"I didn't burn..."
"Yeah, whatever. Moving on?"
"Okay. Anyway, so I worked for D.E.I. for a while. But I began to realize that what the company was doing was wrong. Creatures are extinct for a reason. And eventually, the dragons would get loose and wreak havoc on people. That's when I decided to do something about it.
"My plan was to steal the last egg (for that is what your stone truly is) and destroy it, then come back later and destroy the company. And all of this was supposed to happen without the government finding out about the company. Because if they do, they get their little fingers into it, and everything ends up worse.
"But as I was leaving," Marcus continued, "one of the guards noticed that I was carrying the briefcase and he set off the alarm. I was able to make it to my car and drive off, but the guards cut me off one mile down the road. And so the chase began.
"I had lost all of them but one when that one tried cutting me off. I swerved to avoid him, but I still ended up clipping him and sending him over the barrier into the ocean. I also lost control of my car and went over.
"I don't know how I made it back to shore, but I did. I passed out the instant I did. When I awoke, your dog had the briefcase and then you left."
"And then you burned my house down."
"No."
"Then who did?"
"I don't know. It was most likely a guy named Smirtz who works for D.E.I. When you opened the briefcase, they were able to track it."
"So now what?"
"Well, like I said, I was going to destroy the egg, and then destroy the company, but since the egg has hatched, you can help me destroy the company, and then I'll just let you go and you can live your life however you want to as long as you stay away from the cops with the dragon."
"But how can we fight the company? It's still a baby."
"Don't worry. They become full grown in a day."
"Wow!"
"Yeah. Now let's go," Marcus said, but failed in the dark to see Selah and Shiloh sneaking up behind him. Selah picked a stick off the ground and whacked Marcus over the head with it. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.
As Selah and Shiloh moved closer, Simon was able to recognize who they were.
"Oh, am I glad to see you!"
"Same here," Selah said as she cut Simon's bonds.
"Let's get out of here," Simon said. "This guy's a psycho."
"Is it true that that stone was a dragon egg?"
"Yes."
"Then what's psycho about him?"
"I don't know. Other than fact that he KIDNAPPED me and tried to make me go on some insane adventure. But look, I don't really know anything anymore. My parents are dead. I just need to get out of here. So, let's go."
"But what about my family? I can't just leave them."
"You won't be. We'll be back soon. We just got to figure out what I'm going to do."
"Okay."
"But we got to pick up the dragon before we leave."
"Why?"
"Because I feel responsible for it. And I don't believe this guy about wanting to fix everything, so I don't feel comfortable leaving it in his hands."
"Okay. Let's just go before he wakes up."


Back at his special place, Simon, Selah, and Shiloh watched the dragon scamper about. The dragon made no noise at all except for the odd squeak accompanied with a little flame.
"What do we do with it?" Simon asked.
"How about naming it?"
"Name it?"
"Yeah. Mr. It deserves a name."
"Okay. How about Xeper?"
"Xeper?"
"Yes. Xeper is a fine, masculine name with a dragonish twist to it."
Selah looked at "Xeper" to see that he was already asleep. "We'll see how he likes it tomorrow."
When they awoke the next morning, "Xeper" was not in the sand dune. They walked outside and were astonished at what they saw.
"Xeper" had grown. "Xeper" had grown a lot. When Marcus Bohard told them that dragons became full grown in a day, they weren't expecting so much.
"Xeper" had grown to a length of twenty feet, a height of seven feet, and a width from shoulder to shoulder of about one foot. The color red reflected from his scales like a burning star.
"Are you Xeper?" Selah asked after a couple of awestruck seconds of gawking.
"I am," Xeper said with a deep, reverbarating voice.
"You talk?!?!?"
"I do."
"Do you speak more than two words at a time?"
"I can," Xeper said with a slight hint of a chuckle in his voice.
"Dragons with humor," Simon said. "Yep, they could make billions off of this."
"So what now?" Selah asked.
"We go to my father," Xeper said with a mysterious look clouding his eyes.
"What?"
"We must go...now," Xeper said, and picked all three of them up in one claw and put them on his back.
"Where are we going?" Selah asked nervously.
"To my father."
"But you don't have a father. You're genet..." Selah said, but lost control of her voice when Xeper lauched himself off the ground and into the air.
After gaining control of their stomachs, Simon and Selah enjoyed the ride a lot.
"Like a plane with a better view," Simon said at one point.
Shiloh was surprisingly calm with the whole thing. She just lay down and closed her eyes.
Xeper flew all throughout the day without halt, flying to a place no one knew the location of, maybe not even Xeper himself. All that Simon could tell was that they were flying east, off about ten degrees from the sun.
When night fell, Xeper finally landed on the slope of a mountain. Exhausted, Simon and Selah rolled off Xeper and lay, unmoving. Shiloh got up lazily and hopped off and promptly went back to sleep.
"Where are we?" Selah asked.
"From what I can tell, we're on a mountain in the middle of nowhere."
"Well, duh."
"Hey, you asked."
"Why are we here?" Selah asked Xeper.
"You'll see tomorrow."
With those words, everyone fell asleep.

yeah, i finally got italics!!!! ha ha! i was trying to get those in the first two chaps.

now if i could just figure out how to indent paragraphs...


i do it when im typing, but all my indent is lost when i submit it. hmmm...

sorry, peoples. im working really hard on the next chap., but im not getting a lot of time to do it. but it's coming!!!!

he's a red dragon. and no, my name's not Simon. lol. good guess, though.

that's my other problem, though. i move too fast. oh, well. people's just gotta hop on and don't let go. lol.


im working really hard on the next chap. still. *sighs in frustration* Time slips away way too fast, bringing us closer and closer to our dying day. (yay dying day! but not when im trying to write, though. hmmmm...that's kind of a double standard.)



oh btw, ya'll love the next chapter. when i finish *sigh*

im kinda confused by what you mean, but yes, my girlfriend's name was Selah (it's in the sig and location).

*hugs Silver back* no, no, it's fine. but thank-you. its fine to talk about.




im still kinda confused by what you meant in your question, but, anyway. im still workin'.

I think I get it. and since you asked, ill tell you that she died in a car accident while on vacation about a month ago. . i really dont know how to describe her that well, except for what ive done in this book, because the character Selah in here is based on her. but in case you ask, Simon isn't based on me. lol. he's kind of odd and stupid. lol. but, anyway, im going back to working on next chap. hopefully it will be done soon.

for the people who are actually into my story, im letting you know that im going on vacation for a week now. i would post it in the leaving forum, but Glen said not to do that if you are only gone for a week.
just letting ya know why i havent posted my story or anything else on here.
(May your swords stay sharp)

I'm sorry I hope things are going better for you

Have fun on your trip.

hey, hey, hey!!!!! I'm back!!!!

Hey hey hey! You're back! So yeah...I already read your story (and, for those of you who don't know, I got a sneak preview of the next chapter!) and it's coming along well. As I've said before, just focus on developing your descriptions. And DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR WRITING INSTRUCTOR!!!!!!!!!

---This is Regitress

lol. i dont plan on listening to him. he makes no sense. but hey, glad you got on. have fun, and view my other posts. some of them are funny. see ya 'round.

i dont have much to say about this chapter except for that its sad, then funny. but i guess you wouldve figured that out anyway....

IV

Simon woke up the next morning without opening his eyes. The previous day plaved over and over in his head; the flight with Xeper, the discussion with Marcus Bohard, and the death of his parents. The memory of their death just kept sticking in the cycle until tears came to his eyes. Unable to hod it back, he rolled over and let all loose.
Selah was eventually awakened by Simon's sobs that he was still trying unsuccessfully to hold back.
With compassion, Selah got up and walked over to him. Kneeling down, she grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. Looking deep into his eyes, she said, "It's gonna be okay."
Embarrassed, Simon tried to turn back over, but Selah held him steady. Averting his eyes from her's, he said, "Please go away."
Pulling him into a tight embrace, she said, "No. I'm with you in this."
Letting his embarrassment go, Simon let the tears flow freely, whispering brokenly, "Why did this have to happen?"
"I really wish I knew," Selah whispered back.
Releasing the embrace, Selah grabbed Simon's hand and pulled him up to a standing positiong. "But, look," she said. "This isn't over. You still have something to live for."
"Like what?"
"Like helping Xeper."
"Yeah..."
"So don't give up. Keep living for something and don't stop living until you've finished."
"Thank-you."
After another hug, Selah went to go take Shiloh for a walk. A little while after, Xeper woke up. He walked over to where Simon was and laid down.
"Good morning," Xeper said cheerfully.
"Hmmmm..."
"What's wrong?"
"My parents are dead," Simon said matter-of-factly.
"Oh."
Silence and the birds reigned the conversation for the next couple of minutes. Xeper coughed uncomfortably and said, "At least you had parents."
"Yeah. But who's this mysterious 'father' of yours?"
"I don't know. I think he's one of the original dragons."
"Original dragons? Like as in they really existed?"
"Well, yeah. They had to for D.E.I. to get our DNA to recreate us."
"Oh."
Simon could tell by looking at Xeper that something was bothering him as well. Echoing Xeper's earlier question, Simon asked, "What's wrong?"
Xeper thought about it for a moment before saying, "Why was I created? What is my purpose?"
"I've been thinking about that same question lately. I think that you've got to live each day, doing as much as you can do for others and yourself, and then be happy with what you've done. Live for something, and don't stop living until you've accomplished it."
"Thank-you. I feel like I have a purpose now. Thank-you a lot for your advice."
"Don't thank me, thank Selah. I stole the idea from her."
Xeper laughed so hard that it shook the trees around them.
"Glad to see everybody awake and laughing," Selah said.
"Hey, Selah!"
Shiloh barked, annoyed at not being greeted.
"And you too, Shiloh."
Selah knelt down next to Shiloh and said, "I wish I knew what you were really thinking."
"I can fix that," Xeper said as he walked over to Shiloh.
"How?"
Xeper didn't answer, but instead started to breathe a blue flame.
The atmosphere around them suddenly became very cold. Shiloh's fur began to turn as royal blue as Xeper's ice flame.
Time seemed to freeze in this icy orb, but Simon could tell by looking at his watch that it was only five minutes before Xeper stopped breathing his flame.
Instantly, Shiloh toppled over. Selah rushed to her side and asked, "Is she okay?"
"Yes."
Gradually the blue started to fade from Shiloh's fur, and she got up.
"...completely stupid. Can't understand me. It's not that hard. And what did that beast do to me? Felt like I was going to Heaven and beyond. And the cold. Brrrrr. Hell would've been a welcoming sight after that. And..."
"You talk?!?!?" Selah exclaimed.
"No, you're just imagining my lips moving and words coming out. Duh, I'm talking," Shiloh said, but stopped as a confused look crossed her face. "Wait, you understand me?"
"Yes."
"Wow! Hey, what did you do to me, Mr. Dragon? Did you put voodoo on me? I don't do voodoo."
"I don't know what I did."
"That's what they all say. They just say the word and say, 'Oh, that's what that did?' So if I start getting weird rashes, take me to the vet, I'll have y'all locked up. And while I can talk, Selah, do you think you can let me outside more? I mean, there's so many smells and adventures outside, and frankly, you're house smells really bad. And about that lab, Rosco. He's so CUTE! You think..."
"Do you ever shut up?" Simon asked.
"No. Why do you think our mouths are open all of the time? We don't do it for show, you know. We..."
"I think we get the point."
"So are we going to see this 'father' of yours?" Selah asked Xeper.
"Yes."
Then they started climbing up the mountain. The trip was pretty much taken in silence except for the incessant talking of Shiloh. At one point, Shiloh said, "Oh, and I can sing, too. Want to hear?"
"No."
"Well, too bad. Here goes:

Once a farmer had a dog
And Bingo was his name-o
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O
B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-o."

While she was still singing, Simon caught up with Xeper and whispered, "What have you done?"
"Opened up a can of annoyance," Xeper whispered back.
"Hey!" Shiloh exclaimed. "I heard that. These ears aren't big and floppy for nothing! I take great offense to your statement."
"So you'll shut up?"
"Not a chance.

Oh, Susanna! Oh don't you cry for me!
Cuz I came from Alabama with a banjo on my knee!"

When they reached the top, all it was was a big plateau with a cave in the middle of it.
"Who wants to go into the dark, spooky cave first?" Shiloh asked.
"I will," Simon said, and walked into the cave until he was lost to sight.
Instantly, bloodcurling screams emitted from the cave.
"Help me!"
Scared for Simon's life, they rushed into the cave only to see Simon sitting on the floor of the cave, perfectly fine.
"Gotcha," he said.
"That's not very funny," Selah said at the same time Shiloh said, "Awesome." Xeper said nothing.
"Nobody's here," Simon said after a while.
"But something definitely lives here," Selah said as she noticed all of the claw marks and bones scattered around the cave.
"Not much of a house. Dirt walls, ground, and a rock ceiling," Shiloh said.
"We don't need much," Xeper said.
"So what now?"
"We wait."
They waited for an hour before the dragon showed up. When he saw them, he emitted a loud roar and dropped like a bomb and landed on the ground with a loud thud.
"Who are you?" he asked.
Everyone else was too scared to speak, so Xeper said, "We came here looking for you."
"Another...another dragon? I always knew...but never thought..."
"My name is Xeper."
"I'm Sinthrex. But where are you from?"
"I was created by some scientists."
"Oh. So I am he only dragon," Sinthrex whispered.
"What?"
"Nothing. Why are you here?"
"I felt drawn to this spot," Xeper said.
"Anything with dragon DNA is drawn to this spot. But without reason, it won't come. So what's your reason?"
"I guess we're looking for our purpose."
"What has happened that makes you think your life is not purposeful?"
And so they sat and talked about what had happened. When Simon finished his part, Sinthrex asked Xeper, "And what do you want to do now?"
"I don't know. All I can say is that I feel sorry for the other fifty-one dragons that are still in D.E.I."
"And what about you?" Sinthrex asked Simon.
"I don't know, either. I've got nothing anymore besides Selah and Xeper, and wha..."
Shiloh coughed in the background.
"And you, too. Anyway, whatever they want to do is what I'm going to do."
"This is good," Sinthrex said. "We may be able to help each other."
"How?"
"Let me tell a story to answer that question:
"A long time ago, God created dragons. Over time, they multiplied and thrived. But around A.D. 1650, a black dragon appeared and started killing everyone.
"Now what had happened was this: In A.D. 1625, a dragon named Bokron was born. As he grew up, he became rebellious, the first dragon ever to have this type of behavior. When Bokron turned fifteen, he disappeared. During this time, he met up with an evil sorcerer. This sorcerer corrupted Bokron's mind. When Bokron came back when he was twenty-five, he was black, bigger, faster, and more agile than any other dragon could ever be. He came back with a taste for our blood, and nothing we could do could stop him.
"Eventually, there were only five of us left. We fled and hid, but he somehow found us. When we fled again, I was separated from the rest of them.
"So now here I am, but I have no idea where they are."
"And how will rescuing the fifty-one dragons help you?"
"Because dragons are good at hiding themselves. But with fifty-one dragons searching for them, we could find them and then start reproducing again."
"But how will these dragons help you? They're all flawed."
"What D.E.I. doesn't realize is that all dragons are born that way. As dragons complete stuff in their life, they get more power, thus teaching them how to handle their power responsibly."
"Oh."
"So I guess we're going to back to the creepy company. My dream vacation," Shiloh said.

now here's the thing (for those who actually care). ive just completed chap. 4 (as you can see), but i realized something when i finished it:


i know how i want to end, but i have no idea how to get there (that's not good.) so i need you to write a brief (i emphasize BRIEF) summary of what you want to happen, and if i like it or am able to put it in, i will hopefully be able to combine it with my ideas and come up with something good.



thanx.

sorry. i knew u were away, i was talking about the people who visit the story but dont comment. and yes, you can write one if you want to, cuz im kinda stuck. im glad u like the fact that Shiloh talked though.

Alright, I'll do a quick brief but really, try to change as much around as possible if are planning to publish this.


From where you have ended your story:

Finding Sinthrix, for awhile the group stay near his cave whilst trying to figure out what to do. In the meanwhile, Xepor is tutored by the older dragon in a handful of more skills.

One night, some D.E.I people come and raid their little safe haven, badly injuring one of the charactors. They must travel to a far away place (city or continent {if you choose Australia, I can REALLY help you out to get everything perfect }) to get the antidote or else their wound could be fatal.

That's all I have so far. I'll keep updating it when I know what you think of these bits.

...Australia...Australia...

that's good. i just got to figure out how to get it to a big battle (hence the title of the book) and how to incorporate what ive already written of chap. 5 into it. but keep going, i may be able to figure something out.

haha. im finally getting closer to chap. six. thanx silver.



i know, its double posting, but im lazy, and this wouldnt fit in with my last post.

Their goal is to stop the D.E.I from using and abusing the dragons, correct? And to do this, they must find a way to permanently shut down the "factory," right? Ok...let us see...They have just met Sinthrex and decided to go back to stop the D.E.I, if I remember correctly. So (I'm rambling because I'm thinking out loud), they return to the base in order to rescue those fifty-one dragons. They do NOT attack the base yet.

Now, while they're on their secret recovery mission, they decide to split up in order to find the stasis chamber where the dragon eggs are being held. (Sinthrex and Zeper are currently still at the cave where the former is teaching the latter how to do airial combat. This might be a good oppurtunity to mess with switching back and forth between Simon and Zeper's points of view.) Anyhoo, Marcus finds Selah (who is alone) and holds her hostage to lure Simon and Shiloh to him. When they come to Selah's rescue, Marcus explains that he only held her hostage so that he could get them all together and explain something to them. It turns out that this base is only a research center, not the actual reproduction center (which is in Australia!). We think that Marcus is going to help them, but then he raises the alarm. Through some miraculous escape, Simon, Shiloh, and Selah make it back to the cave. (This would be a good time to show Shiloh's doggy-power!) The three discover, however, that while they were gone, the D.E.I found the two dragons and subdued them, and are now in the process of taking the poor dragons to a separate base in Alaska. So now the three protagonists face an aweful choice...do they save their own dragons, or do they save the fifty-one other dragons that they never saw before?

Sorry, it's not brief, but I think it's detailed enough to give you some ideas. I think I just gave you enough material to make a novel out of this story, so trim and crop it to your liking.

By the way, you wouldn't have happened to read my fanfic yet, sjlsscsdoo?

i like that. i really, really like that. now i just have to figure out how to mesh your idea, Silver's idea, and my idea together. but its easy, because i normally do that all the time with my friends here.....i just havent seen them in a REALLY long time....so....




is the fanfic here, or on the other site you told me about???

Glad to be of help! I can't wait to see where this goes, so keep me updated! (And if you could e-mail me the chapters, that'd be great too. I'm compiling what you've written so far in a Word document so I can print it.)

you're not going to get that published are you?!?!?!?!?!?!? jk, i know you won't do that......at least i think i do......



yeah, ill email you it. that, and if i edit anything else....

whoa, thanks, you guys!!!!! i was just sitting here today thinking about your ideas and i suddenly got major inspiration!!!! i should be done with the fifth chapter soon....when i type it is up to my laziness.....



you guys can keep posting ideas, but i doubt ill be able to incorporate them in my story unless they're ideas about what to do during the battle. ill try, but your ideas where so great, i got so much to write.....



im so excited!!!!!!! this is going to be great!!!!! i SOOOOOOOO want to tell you what's going to happen, but itll ruin some of the surprise that i have planned for the next couple of chapters.....



IM PSYCHED!!!!!!


sorry, had to go overboard there!!!!!!!

Can't wait to see what happens! And, seriously, you should consider putting this story on fanfiction.shurtugal.com (although at the moment, the site seems to be down).

yeah, it is, i guess. i really couldn't figure out what was what the first time I went on there.....but i guess ill try again once the site is back up....

The site's back up! Just in case you forgot, its: [url]fanfiction.shurtugal.com[/url]

oh, cool. ill probably post this on there when im done with it......i really am too lazy to post stuff on two sites.......

Ok... so how close are you to finishing the next chapter?

i think im.....0 seconds away from finishing it...... (i actually finished it two days ago, but it's been slow typing, and then there was this storm.....you get the picture)



im sorry, i cant use the alaska or australia idea, regitress and silver.....it just didnt quite work out.....but i was able to use silver's idea about character getting injured and regitress's idea about sinthrex getting captured.....so dont feel like your efforts were futile.....they were greatly appreciated


now, before i ruin any more of it....on to the story!!!!!!



i hope you don't mind the long dialogue part at the end....it was kinda necessary......but i thought i was going to shut up? i should listen to myself.......



Now, for real,.....ON TO THE STORY!!!!!!!!!



V


Around twenty-seven hours later, they arrived at D.E.I. The big three story building was built like a fortress; a fortress situated right next to the ocean.
"Wow!" Simon and Selah exclaimed.
"Oh, yeah," Shiloh muttered. "Big fortress next to the ocean. It's always the evil building and the ocean. Why? So they can kick us out of the window when they capture us in our stupid plan."
"What's the matter?" Selah asked. "Poor doggie can't doggie paddle?"
"It's not that. It's just that this is so predictable. You just watch, there's going to be lasers on the inside right when we get past the door."
"Oh, sure."
When they walked around to the side of the building, they came to a large maintenance door big enough for both of the dragons to fit in. They opened it and went inside.
"See! Lasers!" Shiloh said.
"Yeah, yeah," Selah said.
"But okay, Ms. Prediction? What do we do now?" Simon asked.
"Hey, I said I could predict this, not that I'm psychic."
"That's just stupid," Selah said.
"So who wants to go through the impenetrable lasers first?" Simon asked.
"I don't think any of us should," Xeper said. "We need to get some inside help."
"And where might we get that?" Simon asked.
"Marcus Bohard."
"Oh, come on! He wanted to destroy you!"
"But now he wants to save us."
"Oh, yeah. And terrorists are going to start giving to charity."
"Simon, I don't like him any more than you do, but sometimes help has to come from unwanted places."
"Okay fine."

*****

"What do you want?" Marcus exclaimed when he opened the door to his house and saw Simon, Selah, and Shiloh.
"We want your help," Simon said.
"What if I don't want to give it?"
"We'll make you," Selah said.
Marcus laughed, but said, "Come in."
As Shiloh was coming in, Marcus said, "Hey, I don't do dogs."
"And I don't do humans, but we'll deal with it," Shiloh said, and Marcus raised his eyebrows in surprise but said nothing.
They all moved into the living room and sat down. Marcus cleared his throat before asking, "Where's the dragon?"
"He's on the beach where you captured me. But we need to talk about other things."
"So now you want my help, eh? After you beat me up. I offered it to you before, but no, you had to beat me up then accept it."
"Look, this is Xeper's idea."
"Xeper?"
"The dragon."
"Well I don't care whose idea it is or was, I don't want to help. And even if I did, what would I get out of it? I'm not going to risk my life for nothing."
"What were you getting out of it before?"
"Well..."
"Exactly. I know you don't like us, and we don't like you, but we need to work together to accomlish what we both want."
"Fine. Let's just go."



Xeper sat on the sand and looked impatiently towards the city.
"Where are they?" he asked.
"Patience, Xeper," Sinthrex said. "They'll be here soon. Patience is something a dragon must learn."
"Okay, but here they are."
"Sorry it took us so long, but it took a while for Marcus to get his 'stuff,'" Simon said.
"Do you want to do this?" Marcus asked.
"Yes."
"Then don't make fun of the stuff."
"Fine. But Marcus, meet Sinthrex."
"Wow!" Marcus exclaimed. "I knew they existed, but I never thought that they were still around."
At that point, Simon and Marcus got on Xeper and Selah and Shiloh got on Sinthrex, and Xeper and Sinthrex flew off.
As they were flying, Simon asked, "So what's the plan?"
"The plan is: I'm going to help you get in, then we'll pull the fire alarm, and then when everyone's gone, we'll destroy everything."
"But what about the other dragons?"
"What about them? Bunch of miscreations, they're not worth anything."
"That's not true. Sinthrex said that all dragons are supposed to be that way, but as they achieve stuff in life, they grow stronger."
"Wow, I never knew that. It's a good thing that D.E.I. doesn't know that, for if they did we would be in serious trouble."


*****

Eric Polani sat in his office and watched Xeper's flight through the eyes of Simon.
"Smirtz, you actually did something worthwhile putting that camera on the kid."
"Thank-you, sir."
"Now get me the dragons. I want to see what they can really accomplish."


*****


"Did I ever say how much I hate this place?" Shiloh asked.
"Only about a hundred times," Simon said.
"Why do you even hate this place?" Marcus asked. "It's not like you were ever trapped in there."
"Because it's downright creepy."
"Well then feel bad for the dragons trapped inside the downright creepy place."
"I do...I think."
Marcus decided not to comment, but instead went up to the door and opened it.
"Shall we proceed?" he asked.
Everyone nodded and everybody went single-file through the door and into the dark room.
Marcus wasted no time in going to the side wall and opening a panel and punching in a code.
The instant after he did, a bright red light started flashing and a siren came on.
"What did you do?" Simon yelled over the noise.
"I don't know!"
"Well, fix it!"
"I'm trying!"
"Try harder!" Simon yelled again and the siren stopped and the lights came on.
"Ah, see. All better."
"To the contrary," a voice said over some hidden speakers.
"Who's that?" Marcus called out.
"Me, you idiot!" the voice said as a man rounded the corner fifty yards in front of them. Marcus immediately recognized him as Eric Polani, but Simon had to ask him, "Who's the weirdo?"
"Eric Polani, evil maniac behind this place."
"Oh, that weirdo."
Polani motioned to left and right and about fifty men with guns came out of the darkness to surround them, blocking the escape from the door they came in from.
"Now, you will come with me so I can show you why your efforts are futile."
And so Polani walked down the corridor, and Simon, Selah, Marcus, Shiloh, Xeper and Sinthrex were forced to follow him by the henchmen.
After a couple of more turns, they finally came to a long window overlooking a big lab.
"Marcus, you know what this is," Polani said. "For you...kids, this is the lab where we create the dragons. But we changed some of the operations around here. This is now where we improve the dragons."
Simon, Selah, and Marcus exchanged glances and said, "You didn't..."
"Yes, I did. Smirtz attached a camera on the boy the last time you were here. Amazing that he was able to do that without being seen. But now I know the truth about my 'flawed' dragons."
"But you can't possibly sell them," Marcus said. "They will escape and wreak havoc on the world."
"Oh, I have no intention of trying to sell them."
"What?"
"Yes. When I realized the full potential of my dragons, I also realized that what was the point of making money when I would have to spend it in secret? Then I thought that with all these dragons, I could easily take over the world. And with power comes money that I can spend. That, and with power comes power, which is better than money."
"You evil..."
"Thank-you," Polani cut Marcus off. "Now..."
As Polani kept talking, Simon looked around for a way to escape. The only way he could see was the hallway they had come in from, but it was guarded by all of the men.
No problem, Simon thought. Xeper and Sinthrex can easily take care of them.
So Simon subtly nudged Xeper and pointed to the hallway while Polani had his back turned and was rambling on about what he was going to do when he was ruler of the world.
Once Xeper was able to give Sinthrex the message, Simon yelled, "Now!" and Xeper and Sinthrex quickly and easily knocked the guards over while Simon along with Selah, Shiloh, and Marcus bolted down the hallway. Sinthrex and Xeper followed in the air above them.
"Get up, you fools!" Polani yelled, but once he realized that they weren't getting up, he took a gun from his own suit coat and fired two shots at the retreating figures.
As Simon and Selah were rounding the corner, Simon could hear the first shot being fired and felt the explosion of pain as it hit his left arm. He heard the second shot fired, and time was slowed down as he saw the bullet heading towards Selah. He leaped forward, yelling, "Nooooooooo!" and tried to block her, but he was too late. The bullet struck her square in the chest and she fell over.
Ignoring his own pain, Simon got up and ran forward, scooping Selah up as he went, barely avoiding the two extra bullets Polani fired at them.
Once they got to the exit, Simon threw Selah on top of Xeper and then hopped on. Marcus and Shiloh got on Sinthrex and both Xeper and Sintrhex flew off.
"Are you okay?" Xeper called back to Simon.
"Yeah, I'm fine!" Simon lied through gritted teeth. "Just go! We need to get to a hospital!"
Simon looked down at Selah and leaned in close and listened for any hint of breathing while he checked her pulse. Both were fine.
"Come on, Selah. Stay with me. Please stay with me," Simon whispered through the tears that started to roll down.
All of a sudden, Simon felt the pulse drop until there was nothing; he leaned in for signs of breath but there was nothing.
"Xeper, land!" he yelled.
"Why? Wh..."
"Just do it! We're never going to make it! The hospital is still two hours away!"
"But we can..."
"Just land!" Simon yelled and Xeper complied and dropped into a steady descent down to the ground. He landed as gently as he could on a soft spot about fifty yards away from the ocean.
When they reached the ground, Simon pulled Selah off of Xeper as he jumped to the ground and caught her.
As Simon kneeled down, he gently placed her on the ground.
"Come on!" Simon whispered. "Wake up! Please..."
"Aren't you going to do something?" Marcus asked after getting off of Sinthrex.
"You mean CPR? No. I don't know CPR, do you know CPR?"
"No. I just thought that this might be a good time to put any knowledge to use."
"Does it look like I pay attention in health class?"
"No."
"But it doesn't matter now. It's too late now."
As Simon sat there trying to wake up what he hoped was a nightmare, Selah woke up with a cough of blood.
Simon immediately turned around, too shocked to say anything, but she was only awake long enough to say, "Si...I...lo..." before she passed out again, never again to awake.
Simon just sat there, dumbfounded, until he eventually got up and walked over to where the tide was extending and sat down and stared out at the boundless sea. He sat there unmoving for hours until the sun eventually set and night crept in, stealing away the light.
Xeper started getting concerned about Simon, and so he walked over to where Simon was sitting and laid down.
Simon didn't move or say anything for a couple of minutes until he whispered something incomprehensible to Xeper.
"What?" Xeper asked.
"Why do bad things happen to good people?" Simon asked a bit louder.
"Because maybe the world thinks that there is no such thing as a good person."
"Maybe."
There was silence for a few moments before Xeper asked, "You really loved her too, didn't you?"
Simon nodded, too choked up to speak.
"Why did you never say anything?" Xeper asked.
"Because I wasn't sure if she felt the same way. I thought that she just thought of us as close friends, and I felt that if I said anything, I would ruin our friendship. I'd rather be close friends and let things play out then make a move and never get a chance after that. But now I have no chance at either."
"I see. Do you believe in an afterlife?"
"I choose not to believe in anything except for the belief that anything is possible, so I guess so."
"Well, dragons naturally believe in one from what Sinthrex was telling me. We believe in a place filled with happiness, peace, and joy. A place far better than this one. And in this place, dragons can watch the people they care about. If this is ture for humans, Selah is looking on you. She's always there. Remember that."
"Wow. I never thought of that. Thanks," Simon said.
"You're welcome. And I can tell by looking at you that you blame yourself for this. You really shouldn't."
"But it's my fault!"
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is. She wanted to go home. I forced her to run away with me, which led to this whole adventure that stemmed form MY problem. I forced her. She shouldn't of even been here."
"That doesn't mean anything. This day was predestined to be her dying day even before she was born," Xeper said.
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"No. I'm just saying don't blame yourself otherwise you'll never outlive the guilt."
"That doesn't matter, because I have no will to live anymore."
"But you need to have a will. A will to fulfill your purpose."
"My purpose is to die here tonight so I can be with her again in this 'afterlife.'"
"No, no, no. You can't think that. Your purpose is...well, let me put it this way. Why do you think Selah died today? Why are you still here? She died because her purpose on this earth had been completed. You are here because you still have a purpose. She died so that you could live. You are here to finish what she started in death: to stop Polani from taking over the world. And for these purposes is why the life choice is never ours to make, but is up to whatever force controls this world," Xeper said.
"But then what?"
"Did Selah teach you nothing? You live day by day, remember?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. So live day by day, and try not to kill yourself."
"Alright."
"Let's get back to the others. It's kind of chilly out here."
"Yeah," Simon agreed.
"So how's your arm?" Xeper asked as they walked over to where the others were sleeping.
"Oh, it's fine, except for the fact that it hurts like crazy. The bullet was a through-and-through, so at least it's not still stuck in there. But I need something to cover it so it doesn't get infected."
"Here, let me try," Xeper said, and picked up some sand with his claws. After breathing a green flame on it, Xeper covered it up with his other claw and shook it up. When he finished, what was left was a strip of sand. "You should be able to tie this around your arm, and it should help it heal quicker."
Simon did so, and said, "Wow. The books never say anything about that."
"Did the books ever meet me?"
"No," Simon said as he laid down and went to sleep.


*****

Sometime during the night, Simon was awakened by Sinthrex's roar.
When Simon got up, he could barely see through the darkness men surrounding Sinthrex and men approaching the awaking forms of Xeper, Marcus, and Shiloh.
Wide awake now, Simon hopped on Xeper, followed shortly after by Marcus and Shiloh. Xeper growled as he prepared to fight.
"No, Xeper!" Sinthrex yelled. "Do not fight! Fly! You still have life, youth, passion, while I am old. Do not spare your life for mine! Fly! And never forget anything I have taught you!"
Xeper nodded and launched into the sky right before the men surrounded him.
The last thing Simon saw before being swept away by the clouds was blood pouring freely from Sinthrex's mouth as the men knocked him over.
Eventually, Simon fell asleep on Xeper's back, thinking, Why does the world hate me?





And that is that. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!




okay, but i need you people's honest opinion. i was looking back and reading my story over again and I noticed a lot of dialogue.




do you think i use too much????? plz be honest......







5 days later: wow.....no responses.......okay, so i put all this work into this chapter, and.....nothing......either you people are slow reading it, you totally hate it, you just dont care, youre on vacation, or you were both wiped off the face of the planet simultaneously........i dont really care which, im just kinda wondering....and concerned.....a bit......but mainly wondering......



6 days later: im gonna be gone for 3 days.....so, i may not reply to your replies right away...



10 days later: wow. you know, you people are seriously freaking me out now. i mean, i understand that you people have lives and i dont, but are you dead? i mean, im just worried...

Sorry, sjlsscsdoo, but I was on a Missions Trip for ten days and only now have ahd the chance to read your story.

For starters, you really are good with dialogue. I know you've heard it a lot, but it's true. However, there is absolutely no description whatsoever. Sure, there's the occasional "They went there and did this" sentence, but nothing remotely descriptive. Please, please, please work on that. I can help you if you need it, since that's more my strong point. You knopw my e-mail.

The story is moving along well. I like the terrible twist that has suddenly come along. Selah died (an allusion to a real life tragedy) and now Sinthrex's situation looks dire. I hope it all works out well, and I hope Simon realizes that, even though he has no family and no human friend, he still has Shiloh and Xeper. And I hope you develop those characters more so that we like them as much or more than Selah.

Also, I think you should go back and build Simon and Selah's relationship a bit more.

Above all, this book must end well!!!! I hate books with sad and unresolved endings, and I will be forced to hate the story if you don't conclude it well and make me feel glad I read it, even though there were the brutal deaths in it.

That's all, and I can't wait for the next chapter. Regitress out.

i know, i know. im seriously trying to work on the whole description part, but its just so hard for me. im not really a descriptive person. i prefer just to tell things the way they are. thats how i have been my whole life. so its kinda hard for me to put it into writing. but sometimes i wonder if description is really necessary. yes, i know youre supposed to describe everything, but as i said on the first page, this is for people who dont like to read. those people still need to read. and i know a lot of people who dont like to read, and i ask them, "Why?" and they tell me because theres too many words, especially words they dont recognize, and sometimes its confusing for them to understand whos talking and they just lose interest. and i sometimes agree with them. even i, who read alot, sometimes dont like descriptions and skip over them. why? because all you need to know is general. maybe not with characters, but with places. kids like to imagine. and long, drawn out descriptions will only bore them and cut down what they can imagine. just saying that Simon is somewhere in the mountains on a plateau with a cave is enough for them to imagine the tallest mountain in the world with the tallest trees in the world with the biggest cave in the world. but with people, i guess maybe i should. but, maybe i shouldnt, because if you only do general, it allows the audience to make the character what they want to, and when they do that, they connect more with the character.



i dont know where that all came from, but those are just some of the thoughts that have crossed my mind since ive started writing. but despite all of that, i really should work on descriptions more.


and im glad you like the twist i put in there. i think you both know why i put that in there.


okay, but i do have a question about what you said. you said i should go back and build their relationship more, but how can i do that when they didnt think they had one??? they were acting just like friends, because all the other thought they were. which is kinda sad.


which leads me to a bit of advice. use your time with what you have wisely, because it wont be here long.


okay, basically ignore me when i start talking like a monk.....


but seriously, i hope you dont mind a little spoiler, but the book is probably not going to end well. well, i guess i said that about the last book i wrote too, but that one somehow ended up being a happy book (which is why i decided to write this one). but seriously, sad books are better because: 1. it doesnt catch you up in a fantasy that makes you think that everything should be happy and that you wont die. 2. it doesnt give you a false sense of security. 3. if you have connected with the character, it will make you feel sad, and that sadness will drive you crazy until you will want to read the book again to try and somehow change it, whereas happy books you're (at least im) like, "Oh, yay. Happy ending." (thats sarcastic, btw) and just put it down.


but technically ur right, people (like you) generally hate sad books and probably wont pick it up when they hear from their friends that its sad. so i might somehow make it sappy (sad and happy, if u didnt get that). but u never know (which will hopefully keep you hooked. key word: hopefully)


okay, i think thats all i have to say. WOW, that was a lot......


anyway, im almost do....wait, sorry, i meant started (sorry, it took me a while to get the idea and then i havent been in the writing mood and.......).....the next chapter......

I know where you're coming from, but I tend to disagree in the area of description. If there is no description, then people get confused. I never said it had to be like "The man was a verbose sole, who found that pouring forth a spate of unintelligable terminology brought him a sense of insatiable glee." But it helps to know how someone says something, what they are doing while they say it, where they are, and what it looks like. When you said that the building was big and by the ocean, that was all well and good, but I didn't get anything out of it. What did the building look like? A castle? A industrial plant? a mansion? and was it built on a cliff overlooking the ocean, or was it built on the sand? Was there even sand? Was it rocky instead? What about the weather? I could go on and on, but you get the point. Description helps to create mood, a very important aspect of story-telling. Without mood, the reader doesn't really get into the book. You're good about creating a believable character, but the world you've placed these characters in doesn't seem to exist.

My next point: Description actually connects the reader more to the character than no description. I'm no talking about the way the character looks all the time (that can be brief), but I mean the character's actions, motives and thoughts. When I said that I wanted a deeper relationship with Simon and Selah, I didn't mean through dialogue necessarily. You did say they were best friends, but other than that, I didn't get the idea that Simon loved her. If you include some of his feelings and thoughts, then that would help immerse the reader more in who he is, and feel more sad when Selah dies.

"Simon had always been friends with Selah; they had grown up together, went to the same school and lived in the same neighborhood. Lately, though, Simon felt this relationship pulling to go further. He found that he couldn't stay away from her long before he began to feel that terrible, all too familiar emptiness."--See? People actually like to read that kind of thing, and it really helps them understand how Simon feels. You could also mention his fear of telling her how he feels about her, so that the audience understands.

Third point: sad books are not always the best way to go. Why do people read books for fun? Is it so that they can go away feeling depressed? Do you honestly want to see down and read a thoroughly sad story and have it end in the main character dying? I don't. And most people don't either. They read to be entertained. I'm not saying bad stuff can't happen, but in a story there needs to be a satisying conclusion. If you've ever read The Lord of the Flies, you'll know what I mean by that. It ends sadly, and I hated the book after that, but it closed, the reader learned something, and nothing was left out. Don't end it with the dragons all dying and Simon sacrificing his life to save them. That just doesn't work. People will hate it, especially if they've gotten really fond of Simon.

I agree that life isn't all candy and daffodils, but does that mean that books have to be depressing too? Don't we already have enough pain in real life without adding onto it?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE at least make the book end in a semi-happy way and DON'T kill Simon or Xeper. You've already killed Selah, Simon's parents, and possibly Sinthrex. Don't ruin the book by making it all death and destruction, or people will really think you're emo. And I don't want that.

I'll stop ranting now. I must say, I enjoy these discussions. It helps us to see the other's views and the motives behind what they write.

"Simon had always been friends with Selah; they had grown up together, went to the same school and lived in the same neighborhood. Lately, though, Simon felt this relationship pulling to go further. He found that he couldn't stay away from her long before he began to feel that terrible, all too familiar emptiness."


no offense, but if i start reading stuff like that in a book, i enjoy it, but it makes the book a bit too weird or whatever.....



but i do agree with what you are saying, but its not me. i would like it to be, but i just cant get it quite right...


and how can i not make this a sad ending? what has this whole book been about? yes, its been about the dragons, but what question has appeared at least three times? "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?"

and he cannot find that except in death.


sorry, did i just reveal too much?



but okay, once i get all the ideas down, i may (MAY {not definite yet. depends on how unlazy i am} ) go back and add more description. cuz im sure if i put some effort into it i could.....

hmmmm....Well, writing takes effort. You can't be lazy and expect to get a ton of readers. And yeah, that sappy little paragraph was all I could think of for an example on how to implement Simon's feelings.

Well, good luck finishing the story. I'll keep reading and reviewing, but you've been warned: if Simon finds his purpose in dying, I may just commit suicide, because that's what you're telling people. I guess God hasn't put me here on this earth except to die. I have no purpose here.... Oh well.... *sniffs*

okay, i hope you dont mind me revealing one more thing, but i have to.....




simon is going to die a noble death. its not going to be like he just commits suicide.....



okay, now that you basically know how the story's going to end ( ) i think ill start writing again soon....

Please write, and since you're going to make Simon die, at least make him find his purpose not in the act of death but in the action that caused him to die..............

will do. im just having a bit of trouble figure out the start of chap. 6. but once thats done, i have an idea for the rest.....

Hmm...I hate those difficult beginnings. Sorry, but I can't be of any help here; it's too early in the morning.

i know what you mean. if i havent had my coffee, i cant think right.....

Heehee, I hate coffee. But going to work woke me up, and I was able to think of something for my own story, has been critically acclaimed BTW.

ah, work....the only good thing about it is money......other than that, i wish i never have to work.....ah, but sweet money......

Yes, but isn't that off topic? Anyway....er...Money's the root of all evil...or is it the love of money?

yeah, technically this is off topic, so i guess ill just shut up until i have the next chap. ready......



but yeah, it is the love of money.....


and i dont love it.....i may like it......

Who doesn't like having mon...er...shutting up.

lol u guys r funny!

i like the book but i agree with regitress, i dont think u should kill simon, thats too many deaths for me but i hate it when people die, no matter if they needed to die or not (like brom) and i know yu'v heard it a million and 10 times but u NEED more description

yur a good writer though, keep up the good work!

thx everybody (basically regitress and future) for your honesty. i appreciate it, and i am continuing, its just taking some time. im about halfway through chap. 6.....

in ur last paragraph, you said: "Good advice" in the first sentence. who said what good advice?

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........



well, it makes sense now......




and btw, congrats on getting 1500 posts!!!!!

@ Silverwolf Strider:

Yes, I have attempted to write a full length novel before, and I am currently in the process of writing a novella on fanfiction.shurtugal.com called The Elfling: Across the World. I've also written several short stories, one of which was pretty much all description and won second place in a writing contest. So, it's not like I'm speaking without experience. I've also read quite a lot, and I can agree that descriptions (read Nathaniel Hawthorne) can bog you down, but having no description can be just as bad. One needs to find a happy medium between the two.

SJ uses very little description, and I believe he could definitely improve by using more. His dialogue is fresh, realistic, and funny, but he needs to couple that with good descriptions.

I agree that if you can make a reader cry, have nightmares, or want to throw the book across the room because their favorite character died, then they are excellent at writing. But does that mean that if they make the reader laugh or pull them into a world outside their own that they are not such good authors? Does one have to write a sad book to be a great author? Is it imperative that the reader cries in order for the story to truly be amazing?

People read, watch tv, and play video games to get away from reality. Sometimes they want to read a sad story, but a lot of the time, they want it to turn out well. Why not at least give them that good ending. You don't ALWAYS have to do it, but to never do it just doesn't seem right.

well, i dont ALWAYS make it sad.......this is actually the first one ive ever attempted to make sad, just because of how im feeling right now. and i like to be part of a minority that writes sad. the minority that sees through the lies that life feeds you that everything should end out happy....



but, yes, i do need to do work on description, and i think i figured out how to, but first i just want to finish the book, then im going to go back and edit it. like completely edit it.



actually, ive got to do that on the last book i wrote to. cuz someone professional looked at the last book i wrote, and they said it had potential if i described certain things better. they said that i have it all in my head, but when i write it, i leave things out that i know. like i myself know where everything is taking place, what the characters look like, etc. but i got to remember that the readers dont......



but im working on fixing that......




but first, i got to finish this......




back to work!!!!!!

1st paragraph: yes, unfortunately i AM writing for a younger audience for this book (hence the humor) and yes, i understand that they probly dont want to read a sad book, nor will they be able to comprehend the grasp of death.....but, as they will grow older, hopefully they will remember my book, and will not be blindsided by reality because of these other books that teach that death is a myth and that it never rly happens.....


2nd paragraph: ive got nothing on this paragraph, i totally agree.....



3rd paragraph: yes, i understand.....and i dont mind any of this at all.....it helps me to get ideas from all three of our perspectives and mesh them together into something that will appease all three sides of the picture......




oh, and i dont feel pressured.....like i said, i understand where all of this is coming from.....

I don't hate you either, Silverwolf. I was just trying to come to an understanding with what you were saying. And I agree that if a reader cries during a sad book because they're really into it, then the writer has done his job, but I just want to put it out there that that is not the only way to be a good writer.

Here's an interesting thought: C.S. Lewis wrote the chronicles of Narnia, saying that he was not trying to disillusion children, but bring them the truth of the world in a fantasy setting. He didn't want Narnia to be a mere Fairy Tale, but a way of bringing reality to children in an accessible way. And he didn't write a sad book until The Last Battle.

ah, but im not cs lewis, am i? he wrote during a time when things were okay. yes, there was crime, there was death, but certainly not like in today's time. he may of brought some truth out in his book, but he was still blindsiding children about the fact of death. he never really mentioned the fact that death IS a part of life, no matter how much we wish it wasn't. and yes, maybe i shouldn't do it the way im probly going to do it, but the truth still has to get out there somehow. if people read my book, yes, they may hate the fact that the main characters died, but hopefully it will open their eyes to realize that what they have WILL NOT be here for long. we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. we should cherish what we have while we have it, cuz it WILL be taken when we least expect it. not that we should fear death, but we should accept it as fact and not live in denial.

People already know that. Think about all the accidents that happen just from the road. And what about diseases like cancer that kill thousands of people everyday! And the war we're in right now? How can we not know about death?

And for your information, Lewis was alive during both WWI AND WWII. And you say times were okay? HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of people died! That's way more than are dying in the Iraq war.

Not only that, but Lewis did write about death. What about those battles in a lot of his books, and The Last Battle especially? Plus, although Susan didn't die, she wasn't able to go with the others when the world ended because she stopped believing. Lewis wasn't writing to blindside children about death--as a Christian, he should have known better than that. Instead, he was trying to offer hope to those who lost family in the world wars. He showed that we should move on in life even if people we love die.

And just from personal experience, a lot more kids know about death than you may think. I went to New Orleans this past summer on a missions trip, and in an area frought with death and destruction. Many kids didn't have fathers, and many saw shootings or had people they cared about shot. And these kids were not even ten years old! And that's not to mention the stories we heard about their experiences in the Superdome during Katrina.

The point I'm trying to get at is this: the world has so much pain and suffering already that it's nothing new to have people die in stories, and it's not like your opening people up to a novel concept. So, instead, try offering hope to the people by not killing the main character. I think--no, I KNOW--you got your point across when you killed Simon's parents and best friend. PLUS you made Sinthrex's position seem hopeless. Killing every single person in the story will not make the point more clear than it already is, and you may just turn people off.

DON'T give in to that hopeless mindset that the world is handing to you. We have God on our side, remember? Shouldn't that give us hope? And shouldn't that hope be displayed throughout your writing, whether or not you're directly mentioning God? If people know your a Christian, then read a book that is completely hopeless, then doesn't that kind of destroy your testimony?

Sorry, I get kind of passionate sometimes. I don't mean to tear you down, but rather to build you up, and encourage you not to follow that dark road. Make the book as dark as you want, but at least inject some hope into the story.

BTW, how's your writing class going? What new assignments has your teacher given you? Any new bad advice that he's given you?

wow, i have nothing really to say about that....it rly made me think though.....




but just to let you know (and i hope you dont mind some spoilers), it was never my plan to have a sad ending book. yes, maybe sad because all of the characters die, but still happy in the end when Simon goes to Heaven and is reunited with Selah. Do you think it is really that bad to convey MY dream through this book?


And also, i will let you know that Sinthrex IS NOT nor will be dead. you will figure out how and why later, but he is not dead nor will he die in this book. at the end, you will see him finding the original dragons, reuniting with them, and together with the created dragons, restart the dragon race.....



hope you dont mind the spoilers, but i thought them necessary to point out that while i am making it sad, there will be happiness at the end and a point to get across.....




Edit: oh, those classes are over (thank goodness). i rly didnt listen to a word he said except maybe for some advice he gave me to help me with describing stuff and i also listened to him when he talked about marketing my material.

I wrote quite a lot didn't I? Marketing your material? Was this like a lesson, or did he speak to you personally? What did he say? I'm interested!

oh, it was like a lesson. ummmmm, what did he say? it was about 2 weeks ago, and that is pretty much how far my memory lasts.....exactly why i despise exams and such.....




but, um, basically i think i fell asleep cuz he talks in a monotone, and that gets quite boring, but it was basically about how to get an agent (which luckily for us young adult fantasy writers, we dont need one!!!! cuz thats just an extra step that we would have to take, and its actually quite hard to get one). since we dont need one, i wont say how. but basically you got to have your story in a certain format: 8 1/2x11 paper, courier or times 12 pt. font, indented paragraphs, 1 in. margin, and an unjustified right margin.....stuff like that. then you hand it in to a publisher with a query letter and a synopsis on your book, if they like, they accept it, and the rest is good, i think.....um, thats around where i fell asleep.....



oh, but im surprised you didnt comment on anything else i said.....

Yeah, the award was not online. Also, if you are confused by Erendel's past, you may want to read The Seed if you haven't already done so. That clears up most if not all of the confusion.

No I don't take a writing class, unless you count English during the school year to be a writing class. Otherwise, I work solely on my own for fun. It's more of a hobby write now, though I would like to get something published some day.

BTW, s-doo, sorry I didn't comment on the plot spoilers. The only thing I would have been able to say would be "oh" or "so THAT'S how it ends!" Nothing spectacular.

@ Silver: yeah, i took one. it wasnt online, it was at a community college in my neighborhood. i wish i hadnt though, cuz the whole thing was a load of crap from start to finish.....this guy had nooooooooo idea what he was talking about.....



well, i guess i shouldnt say that.....he had an idea for what he was teaching: he was teaching adults. and adult fiction. so how my dad thought that this was a class for me ill never know......



@ Regitress: oh, okay.....




well, chap. 6 is about 2 pages away from being done.....now, when it gets on here is up to my school schedule....



have i ever mentioned that i hate school?





Edit: wow, i was just reading an article and it said this:



...the writer may present his characters in several ways. One method of characterization is direct exposition, telling the reader directly what the character is like. Another method is indirect revelation of character which allows the reader to draw his own conclusions from what the character himself does or thinks, or what other characters think about him...




so what do you think about that, regitress and silver? do you think i display what the characters do and think enough for you to draw your own conclusion? or should i directly tell?

Either way, it's going to require you to use more description, so I think you should do it how you feel it would be most comfortable. I'm someone who does an indirect revelation sort of thing because that's how I like to get the reader to focus on the character.

well, i think (from my perspective) that you could tell by reading that simon is a moneyhungry, sarcastic, schoolhater, but still has good morals. selah is a kind, gentle, allaroundgoodperson. shiloh is just sarcastic and lazy. xeper doubts his existence, but is always up for helping others (especially simon). sinthrex......well, u didnt get much of a chance to meet him, but u could tell he was def. wise......and eric polani is evil. thats it. just evil. smirtz is dumb, evil, and lets himself get bossed around. ummmmmm, i think thats all the characters......





Edit: hey, can you guys think of any more "catchy" titles? cuz that teacher made a good point in saying that when nobody knows who you rly are, you havent made a name for yourself yet (like CP or somebody famous), the first thing someone will look for in a library is someone they know (like CP), but if they cant find something of his, they will just begin browsing (now imagine that the binders are out and you cant see the front cover art). What are they going to look for? A title. And so i need a more catchy title for 1. so publishers will look at it. 2. so the audience will look at it.
so, any ideas?

Okay, when I look at a fantasy book title, the words that usually stand out to me are "magic," "adventure," "legend," "dragon," or the name of an interesting character. I usually ignore books that use Tolkien trademarked races like orcs. I hate it when they do that. I also am not a big fan of books that are affiliated with a company and are just written to help advertise said company. Another thing that catches my eyes are the straight-to-the-point titles, like "The Lord of the Rings," or "Eragon." Often, books with unique titles like "Ink on His Fingers" don't normally attract me. Neither do book titles that start with The Adventures of... because that usually sounds cliched and childish.

Maybe you could rearrange the title? Dragonwar, perhaps? Or maybe "The Final Dragonwar." "D.E.I: Rebirth."

Does this help at all?

ah, i like the final two......xcept is this "The Final Dragonwar"? oh....yeah, it is.....oops, hahahaha.....




okay, so i am going to officially rename this book:




THE FINAL DRAGONWAR



thanx, regitress......




Edit: yay! i finished chap. 6!!!! now i just got to get away from the imprisonment of school to type it!!!!

yeah, probably not.....my friend's going to be doing my artwork.....and hes good. but i dont want to rely on that, cuz ppl wont look at the artwork if they dont like the title (remember, imagining that the binders are facing out).....




but i rly dislike school.....its not letting me type the 6th chapter....robbing away all my time, leaving me with nothing but a dischreveled youth.....(i think i just made up that word "dischreveled".....haha, but i like it)

Heehee, I haven't started school yet! And yeah, when I search books on the internet, I don't usually look at the front cover first to get my impression. For example, The Belgariad by David Eddings has an extremely dated looking cover, but the story is great and timeless.

Edit: By the way, Silverwolf, what titles did you have in mind for sj's story? It certainly can't be all that bad. And besides, Sj needs to have more than just myself giving him advice. Also, when you're finished designing the book cover for The Final Dragonwar, I'd love to see it.

oh, itll take a long time for the cover art to be done.....i dont see my friend as much as i used to....cuz he lives far away now.....still in the same state, but far away.....



and yes, silver, id absolutely love to hear some of your titles.....




lucky you! no school yet!!!! oh well, start earlier, finish earlier.....

When do you finish? I start in september and finish mid May.

i started this monday and finish anytime between last week of march and middle of april.....

yayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!! chapter 6!!!! finally!!!!!



oh, but i would like to state that Bokron is pronounced kinda Russian-like.....so its more like (vock-rrron) the triple "r" meaning you semi-roll it.....i hope that helps......




VI


Simon found himself in a dark void. His feet were placed on solid ground, but he could not see where he was standing or how far the ground he was standing on extended. Afraid to take a step, he called out, "Can I have some light here, please?"
His voice echoed on and on until an answering voice called out, "Yes."
The voice sounded familiar, but the air it was being carried on distorted the sound to where Simon couldn't discern who had said it.
As the voice faded, a bright light came, and Simon was able to see where he was.
He was on a path in a forest. The trees of the forest were packed so clowe together and were so high that Simon could not see in any direction than that which the path followed.
The path behind him went on as far as his eye could see. But the path in front of him made a bend to the left fifty yards away. Without thinking, Simon walked forward.
When Simon rounded the corner, he found himself face to face with the voice and the source of the light: Selah.
Selah was dressed in a stunning white dress that radiated a brilliant white light.
Simon rushed forward the short distance between them and hugged her tight.
Selah hugged him back, saying, "What was that for?"
Simon hugged her tighter and said, "Because I miss you so much."
"Miss me?" Selah laughed. "Why do you miss me?"
"Because you are dead."
"Do I look dead to you?"
"No, Simon said.
As Simon and Selah walked hand-in-hand down the path, Simon looked over at Selah, awestruck at her radiant beauty.
Deciding to speak his mind, Simon stopped walking and turned sideways towards Selah and turned her to face him. "Selah, I've known you since the second grade. We've been next-door neighbors and best friends. But as time has passed, I've found myself more attraced to you. I've found that I want to be closer to you, and every moment I spend away from you is a dark moment only made brighter by thoughts and memories of you. I will not say I love you, for love is a strong emotion that should never be spoken of rashly, but I will say that I have a deep passion in me for you that grows stronger every day I'm with you."
Finished with his speech, Simon reached in and drew Selah close, leaned in, and kissed her, letting all of the emotions of his words flow.
Without warning, Selah disappeared, and Simon was thrown back into a lightless void.
And so my worst fear is confirmed, Simon thought.
A few seconds later, the light returned, but not the same light. This light was a duller, foreboding red. Simon could barely see the path with this light, but he still started backing away slowly.
He turned around to run, but was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight of Selah, who was once again the source of the light.
But this time Selah was dressed in black leather, from her sleeveless shirt down to her leather pants. And the light that came from her instilled a sense of fear and of evil into Simon. But what freaked Simon out the most was her eyes; they had no pupils or irises, they were just two glowing red orbs.
Really freaked out, Simon turned around to run again, only to find himself face-to-face with Sinthrex.
The dragon looked normal, so Simon said, "Sinthrex! Thank heavens you're here! I am really freaked..."
Simon's voice trailed off as Singthrex turned his head to the side and Simon was able to catch a glimpse of the same evil red eyes he had seen in Selah.
Scared, Simon looked to the left and right for an escape path through the woods and was surprised when a path to the right came out of nowhere.
Not really caring where it came from, Simon ran down it, hoping to get away from this freaky forest.
Simon eventually was able to see a light in the distance, and was in the act of praying to God that it was an exit when the path he was running on suddenly dissapeared and Simon found himself falling into a pit.
Simon landed on the bottom with a thump. He looked around and found that he was not at the bottom of a pit, but was instead on a beach.
Simon recognized the spot instantly. It was the spot where Selah had died.
Dusting himself off, Simon got up to find himself sitting right next to some words written in big, scrawling letters in the sand
They read:



I AM HERE, BUT YOU ARE NOT



Perplexed by the message, Simon stood there musing over it when he heard screams.
Looking up, he saw the black hole he had come in from, and he saw Selah and Sinthrex diving through it.
Scared out of his wits, Simon ran, trodding all over the message, only to find Selah and Sinthrex landing next to him.
Confused by all of it, Simon yelled, "What is this?!? What's happening?!? Somebody help me!"
Without warning, Selah burst out a long line of flame from her mouth and pointed it at the sky.
As Sinthrex joined her, Simon heard a voice faintly say, "Wake up. Hey Simon, wake up..."



"Wake up. Hey Simon, wake up," Xeper said as he nudged Simon.
Simon woke up, sweat pouring from his face. Still in his dream, Simon stood up, yelling, "What's happening?!? Back off!!!"
"Take it easy, man. It's us," Shiloh said.
Simon glanced at them wildly and then shook his head a couple of times to snap the remnants of the dream out of his head.
Still a bit fevered, Simon sat down. When he did, the meaning of the message came to him:
"I am here" meant that Selah was there, maybe still alive.
"But you are not" meant that Simon was not there when she maybe woke up.
Although it was onlly a dream, the meaning that Simon had taken from it gave Simon a sense of urgency. A sense that he couldn't ignore.
"We need to go back to where Selah died," he said suddenly.
"Dude," Shiloh said, "just lay down and we'll take care of you."
"I am NOT disillusional!" Simon exclaimed.
"I never said you were."
"It was implied. Look, just listen to this dream I had," Simon said, and quickly related the dream.
When he finished, Xeper and Shiloh nodded understandingly.
"That is a very intriguing dream, Simon," Xeper said. "But most dreams are fantasy and hold no real application in the real world. Are you sure you're not just wishing her to come back?"
"You know what?" Simon asked, his voice rising in volume. "You want to talk about fantasy? Dragons are fantasy! Talking dogs are fantasy! And yet here you are standing in front of me, as real as the air I breathe. So am I crazy to think that Selah is still alive? I think not. So goodbye," Simon said, and started walking away.
"Wait!" Xeper yelled.
"What?"
"I'm coming with you. You'll need some way to get 350 miles back to her dying spot."
"Thank-you, Xeper. And what about you, Shiloh?"
"What, are you kidding? Wait here and miss the opportunity to face death and doom? What a shame that would be."
"I'll take that as a yes," Simon said as Shiloh and him got on Xeper.
Before Xeper took off, Simon noticed that Marcus was missing and so asked, "Where's Marcus?"
Xeper shook his head as he said, "He ditched us."
"What?"
"Yeah. He woke me up in the middle of the night last night and gave this long lecture about how he wasn't scared, but he didn't want his family to have to live without him. And then he left."
"Well, whatever," Simon said. "I guess we'll just go without him."


*****


Xeper, Simon, and Shiloh arrived at the spot three and a half hours later.
The instant Xeper landed, Simon knew that something was wrong. There was no sign of Selah's body.
Without even waiting for Xeper to kneel down to let him off, Simon jumped off.
"Where is it?" Simon asked. "Why isn't it here? Are you sure we're at the right spot?"
Xeper just glanced at Simon.
"Okay, never mind. But where is it?"
"Maybe they took it," Shiloh said.
"What would they want with it, though?" Simon asked.
"I don't know."
"Wait, where is Sinthrex's body?" Xeper asked suddenly after noticing that it also wasn't there.
"I don't know," Simon said. "But I have a really bad feeling about this."
"Is this about your dream?" Shiloh asked. "Because seriously, Selah and Sinthrex turning into evil fire-breathing monsters is a bit...far-fetched."
"Part of it is that. But there's just this gut feeling you get when you feel like something really, really bad is going to happen. And I have that feeling right now."
"Wait. You're just now getting that feeling? I've had that feeling from us finding the briefcase to now!"
"Look, you can make fun of my feelings all you want, but I just feel that we've got to get to D.E.I. as fast as possible. I think the answer to all of our questions lies there," Simon said.
"Or maybe you just want to go on some suicide mission to get some idiotic revenge."
"Maybe. Either way, I'm going. What about you, Xeper?"
"Like I said before: I'm with you in this," Xeper said.
"Thank-you. And what about you, Shiloh?" Simon asked.
"Do I have a choice?" Shiloh asked.
"Not really."
"Well, then I guess I'll go with you to face an army of dragons to our imminent death."
"Glad you're so positive about this," Simon said sarcastically as Shiloh and him got on Xeper and flew off.


*****


Next Day:


The sun started to rise as Xeper stood on the sand about 500 yards away from D.E.I., Simon and Shiloh on his back.
They had arrived about two miles away the previous evening, but had decided to wait until early the next morning to make their presence known.
Xeper stood there, unmoving, as he watched the dragons of D.E.I. slowly and steadily walk towards him, lined up in ten rows of five, with two dragons leading the front.
Simon sat there and counted the dragons. "Wait, why is there fifty-two dragons?"
"Are you sure you're counting right?" Xeper asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure!"
"Well, it doesn't matter. Fifty-two or fifty-one, we're still outnumbered."
As dawn broke into early morning, they finally met together ten yards away from each other.
One of the two leading dragons stepped forward.
There was silence for minutes before the dragon spoke: "Why do you stop us?"
"Because you are evil, and evil must be stopped before it harms what is good," Xeper said.
"We are not evil. We are merely good people trying to change the world. And the only way to do that is by force. And..."
"You can drop the righteous act, whoever you are," Simon said. "We're not buying a word of it."
"Ah, pretty discerning...boy," the dragon said. "You want to know who I am? Alright then. I am Bokron."
"You?!?" Shiloh exclaimed. "You're still alive?"
"Of course I am! I'm a dragon sorcerer! We just don't die. I was amazed that Sinthrex was still alive, though. I thought I had killed that old fool years ago."
"So why did you team up with humans to achieve your previous dreams of taking over the world? Isn't that like a step down for you?"
"Technically, yes. But it's still taking over the world."
"So how'd you do it?" Simon asked.
"Well, after my failed attempt to eradicate the dragons, I spent fifty years searching for them, to no avail. At the end of this fifty years, my teacher died. No big deal; he was getting old and useless anyway.
"But starting at this point," Bokron continued, "I started formulating a plan. A plan to create a whole army of evil dragons to help me take over the world.
"So I spent the next 300 years researching, using parts of dragons, and a little bit of sorcery to come up with an exact way to efficiently create them.
"My plan after this was simple: Find an eager, young businessman, appear to him as a man (yes, I can do that), get him along with a plan of making money, let him hire people, let those people work on it while I stay in the background, then use sorcery to change his mind to taking over the world, change the "flawed" dragons, and take over the world.
"A long plan that took a long time," Bokron said, "but it worked. Even despite the fact that Polani jumped ahead of me on fixing the dragons by finding out about it himself."
"It hasn't worked yet," Xeper stated.
Bokron burst out laughing as he said, "Are you kidding? Ha ha ha, open your eyes, fool! The odds are against you fifty-two to one. So just pack your bags and go home, and maybe we might spare you later."
The other leading dragon wlaked forward to where Xeper was and turned around to face Bokron.
"That is where you are wrong," this dragon said while nodding to another dragon that said, "Let's go boys," and him and eighteen other dragons crossed over to where Xeper was standing.
"The odds are twenty to thirty-two," the first dragon who had crossed over said.
"Wha...what is this? Chinelius, how could you?"
"We were okay with being sold to make money and to make people happy, but taking over the world is too much," the leading dragon, whose name was obviously Chinelius, said.
"Fine. I knew I should have put a spell on you as well. But it doesn't matter. I have the greatest weapon; a weapon you can't destroy."
"And what might that be?" Simon asked defiantly.
"The two people you care about the most," Bokron said, almost at a whisper, and motioned with his paw for the ranks to part.
When the ranks finally parted, Simon gasped audibly at what he saw.
There, standing at the end of the path formed by the two groups of dragons, were Selah and Sinthrex.
Shocked by the sight of them, Simon wanted to run to them, but he held himself back as he thought, It's probably a trap.
Selah and Sinthrex walked slowly and nobly up the middle of the ranks, with each dragon they passed taking a respectful step backwards.
It was then that Simon noticed the ominous glow of red in Selah's and Sinthrex's eyes.
The dream he had ran through Simon's memory at that moment, and Simon felt something he had never felt before: real and true fear.
Sure, he had been afraid as a little kid, but those little fears soon faded away as he grew up. But even those little fears were nothing compared to the real thing. The feeling you get when your hands start shaking, your stomach is tied up in knots, and you feel like there is no way out, that you are trapped, no way for you to succeed, and you just want to run away as fast as you can, but you can't, because no matter how much adrenaline is flowing, your legs just refuse to move.
Selah and Sinthrex eventually made it to the front and stood on either side of Bokron.
As the ranks closed, Simon whispered to Shiloh, "Still think it's a bit far-fetched?"
"Not anymore," she whispered back, and Simon and her hopped off of Xeper and stood on either side of him.
Simon looked at Selah and Sinthrex. They looked exactly the same except for the red eyes and the occasional plume of smoke coming from their nostrils.
Simon couldn't help blurting out, "What did you do to them?"
"Fool, did you not think that I, who brought back the dragons from years ago, could not bring back a human and a dragon from yesterday? And that I could add a little dragon DNA into her to make her and the dragon the greatest weapon and your worst enemy? And an enemy that you cannot nor will not destroy?" Bokron asked.
Simon and Shiloh stood there, unmoving, as Xeper breathed a long line of flame at the sky in defiance of Bokron.


War had begun.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------


yay! its finished! HALLELUJAH!



hope you dont mind me ditching Marcus.....hmmmm, he was just getting annoying to lug around, and he wasnt really a main character.



wow, i just realized that this has been my longest chap. yet......which is kinda sad, cuz even this chap. is kinda short......



and now comes the hard part.....writing a chapter about war. and making it descriptive enough to tell whats happening without boring the reader to death.......man, i hate this part......any suggestions?

This chapter is a big improvement over your previous chapters. The dream had much more description, and it was surprisingly vivid. Also, I like the name Bokron and the little plot twist--turning Selah and Sinthrex evil--at the end of the chapter.

Gripes: you sometimes reverted to your "dialogue-ish" way of writing when you used the word freaky to describe something. That's something a person might say, but you don't write descriptions like that. It's okay though, because this is just the first draft. It's not a big deal.

Great chapter!

thanx, regitress! yeah, the dream wasnt as hard to describe, because dreams can be anything, and you kinda have to describe everything, cuz theres really not that much talking.......

Yup...so now you have to do the war chapter, eh? That's going to be tough. Just remember to take your time and describe, describe, describe. I should know because I just had to write one in my own story, though it was significantly shorter than yours will have to be. Maybe you should read it to get an idea or two....Just a thought.

yeah, definitely tough......its gonna take a while with school to even get an idea for the first word.......oh, wait! i got it.....the first word is "The".......and then something........

Yes! "The" is an amazing way to start....then....hmmm....maybe it could be followed by "dragons." And er....I'll get back to you.

so seriously, does anyone have an idea/suggestion on what they think i should write/would like me to write?

well, you could write a short little chapter: "Simon dies." The End.


jk......



i seriously have no idea as i am no writer, but i LOVE ur book!!! its AWESOME!!!! but it could use a bit more description in it.......

So the odds are 25 to 25ish, right? Well, you should definitely include some fire-breathing, ground combat between the dragons, and some aerial combat. I think, however, that you should wait to put in the dog-fighting until like, most of the dragons have died, and Bokron flees with Sinthrex and Selah. Then the good guys (Xeper and Simon and Shiloh) could chase after him, and you could end the chapter at that cliff hanger. Just a suggestion, though; you don't have to take it.

yeah, the odds are 20 to 32 against Simon.....but yeah, basically a lot of combat, now i just have to figure how to write that kind of stuff......

oh, no! this isnt the end! theres still at least 2 more chaps. left........




but i like those titles, as well, but i probly wont officially choose one til i finish the book.......