Well, it's great that you're trying not to skip anything then. One thing I might add is that, while you want to describe the battle in detail, you don't have to describe things like the scenery or what the enemy is wearing unless it is important to a certain battle sequence.

okay, i'll remember that. Yeah, it's definitely taking me a while though......

Lol, take your time. This is pretty much the climax, right? Thus, you don't want to disappoint people with a poorly written ending.

yeah, pretty much the climax. I got a couple of more pages done today.....

Woot! It sounds like you're slowly but surely making your way to the end.

yep.....i think i finally got the full picture today.....so in a couple of days, if i get the chance, i may be done.....depends on if i feel like changing it up a bit or not......

Yay! This chapter's been a long time coming.

okay, i finally finished! so it will be here either today or tomorrow.....

Alright, here we go. The final chapter. The end of the story......well, the last two chapters and epilogue.....but the extra chapter and epilogue are really short so.....they're just there to tie up loose ends.....



Anyway....



VII


Alexis awoke.
She looked around to find the same surroundings that she had seen for the past four years ever since she had been ten.
The same crummy cell, ten feet no mater which way you walked it, with a seven foot high ceiling. Made of regular gray stone, the walls were at least four feet thick. The entrance to the cell consisted of iron bars no less thick going from ceiling to floor.
As Alexis sat, her hands tied firmly with chains behind her back, she thought about how she had gotten into her present situation.
Her family had lived in the mountains for as long as she could remember. But one accursed night, Bokron had shown up at her house while her family was sleeping. He killed her parents and captured her and brought her back to D.E.I.
When they arrived at D.E.I., Bokron told her of his plan to take over the world with evil dragons. When Alexis asked why she then was there, he explained that he thought it might be a valuable asset to his group to have a couple of humans that could breathe fire, and that she was lucky enough to be his first test subject.
At that, Alexis had lauched herself at Bokron, but being ten at the time, she didn't stand a chance.
And so she was thrown into the cell and experimented on her everyday for the next four years.
Alexis brought herself to the present at this point.
She smiled to herself and thought joyfully, And he still hasn't succeeded. I would rather be imprisoned than serve as an evil monster for him.
As she had done for the past 1,461 days, Alexis tried to break free from the chains that held her, hoping that one day one of Bokron's experiments would somehow allow her to get free of the chains.
All of a sudden, Alexis smiled. She felt strength flow through her veins and with one mighty flex she broke free from the chains.
Remembering the needles injected into her arm the previous day, which were supposed to help her develop her fire-breathing abilites, she silently thanked Bokron.
She walked over to the door.
Let's see what I can really do, Alexis thought as she brabbed the iron bars of the entrance of the cell and pulled them apart.
Nice.
She cautiously looked outside the cell to the left and right. Nobody appeared to be around, so she walked out of the cell. Not sure which way to go, she went left. She ran through various hallways and corridors, running through doors and up stairways.
As she was running through one such hallway, she noticed that it was the hallway that overlooked the lab.
Alexis immediately stopped running and walked over to the window. Knowing that it was a window that could only be seen through one way, she didn't bother hididng.
She was surprised when she saw that no one was tehre.
Where is everybody?
She was about to leave the hallway when her eye caught the weapons rack in the corner of the lab.
Thinking that she might need a weapon later on, Alexis silently crept down the stairs to the lab. Hoping that it wasn't a trap, she slowly walked over to where the weapons were.
When she got there, she immediately noticed that all of the guns had been taken. Cursing her bad luck, she turned around and was about to leave when she was the two rapiers sitting at the end of the rack.
Walking over to them, she picked them up.
Better than nothing, she thought as she picked up the sheaths for the swords and stuck the swords in them and strapped them across her back.
Looking around to try and decide which way to go, Alexis noticed arrows pointing towards a hallway.
That must mean something, she thought as she followed the arrows through a maze of corridors to a door marked: EXIT.
Yes!
Alexis walked out the door and gasped as she saw what looked like a scene from a movie.
She saw dragons fighting each other viciously. She was not sure which side was which, but she saw Bokron, standing behind, watching the fighting with a dragon and a human by his side.
"Coward," she muttered to herself.
But there was one dragon that stood out the most to her. The dragon with the rider on it. She immediately knew that he was against Bokron by the way he kept attempting to shoot fireballs at Bokron. Somehow they kept missing.
The rider yelled something incomprehensible, and Alexis saw a dog on the ground move. The dog would run around until it found an unsuspecting dragon, and then it would try to sink its teeth into the dragon's vulnerable neck.
Alexis decided then that she wanted to help this dragon and rider, as this would be a perfect time to get back at Bokron.
So she ran out a couple of hundred yards and yelled, "Hey, over here!" to get the rider's attention.
When she said that, not only the rider, but everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. She heard Bokron yell, "You!"
That was stupid, Alexis thought as she ran away, narrowly avoiding a fireball fired by the human standing next to Bokron.
How is that possible? He was never successful with his experiments.
As she was running, with Bokron's dragons fast approaching, the dragon she had first noticed with the rider on it flew low over her head. The rider leaned over on the dragon's back and reached out his hand said, "Hop on."
Giving all her trust to this stranger, she leaped up and grabbed his hand. The dragon flew up to get her away from the other dragons who had just caught up to her. As the dragon ascended, the only thing keeping her from falling was the rider's hand.
He leaned over again and grabbed her hand with his other hand as well, the only thing holding him on the dragon being his leg muscles.
He pulled her up and put her down behind him.
"I'm Simon," he said. "Who are you?"
"I'm..."
"Hold on a second," Simon cut her off quickly. "Grab on to me."
Alexis obeyed without saying a word, wrapping her arms around Simon's lower torso. Without warning, the dragon dropped into a dive and leveled out right above an unsuspecting dragon's back, raking his claws deep into the other dragon's back.
As the dragon cried out in agony, Simon's dragon flew back up into the sky and Simon spoke again, "Sorry about that. This is Xeper," he said, pointing to the dragon.
"Hello. I am Alexis."
"Nice to meet you. Why are you here?"
Alexis quickly related her story, which was occasionally broken up by Xeper doing a corkscrew to avoid the missiles fired at him.
By looking around Simon's body, she could see his fists tighten in anger at the mention of her captivity.
Alexis couldn't understand it, but she felt some strange attraction to Simon. She wanted to help him no matter what. Seeing that he didn't have a weapon, she unstrapped one of the rapiers from her back and carefully handed it to him.
"I think you might be needing this," she said.
Simon turned his head and grabbed it. Strapping it on his back, he said, "Thank-you. This will help greatly."
Turning his head back forward, Simon yelled to Xeper, "Let's go down and finish this!"
Xeper just nodded and dove into a steep dive to land right in front of the evil dragons.
They skidded to a halt twenty yards away from Xeper as Simon and Alexis hopped off on either side of Xeper. Shiloh ran to them from in the midst of the other dragons and stood by Simon's side.
Without hesitation, Xeper released a long line of flame, giving Simon, Alexis, and Shiloh the cover to sneak into the middle of the evil dragons. They sneaked around, keeping low to the ground, only to pop up at random spots, the rapiers burying themselves deep into the dragons' underbellies.
Meanwhile, Xeper's other dragons landed behind the evil dragons, trapping and cutting them off from retreat. Some easily lost face and flew screaming into the clouds.
The remaining evil dragons fought gamely on, but they soon realized that it was a hopeless situation and gave up and decided to join Xeper's side.
As a group, they all turned to where Bokron, Sintrhex, and Selah were standing.
Xeper, Simon, Alexis, and Shiloh all ran towards them. The dragons tried to follow them, but Simon turned around and waved them off.
"This is our fight," he yelled back to them as he continued running.
They respectfully backed off and watched as Xeper and them came withing five feet of Bokron.
Bokron spoke first after gesturing for Selah and Sinthrex to stand back. "Very impressive," he said, forcing the words out until they were nothing more than a hiss. "You defeated my army. My army that took so much work."
Xeper remained silent and impassive as Bokron asked, "So what should I do with you? I could easily kill you."
"Then come and try," Xeper said defiantly.
Bokron responded by spinning around and whipping his spiked tail at Xeper, knocking him down to the ground. Xeper skidded across the ground for ten yards, a rock to the head stopping his skid.
Xeper lay unconscious, blood flowing from his head and from the wound Bokron's tail had made in his right side.
Simon, Alexis, and Shiloh had had the time to duck and so avoided being hit
They stood back up and glared at Bokron. Shiloh launched herself at him, but he just easily batted her away with his paw. Shiloh yelped when she landed hard on the ground twenty yards away.
Shiloh got up slowly and walked to where Simon was. Her whole left side was bruised and swelling fom where Bokron had backhanded her, and a little stream of blood flowed from her side, the result of one of her broken ribs poking through.
Simon looked at Shiloh and Alexis and said, "You need to go. This is my fight."
"No! I have as much of a right to kill him as you do!" Alexis yelled back.
"But it's too dangerous! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if somebody else got hurt."
"Somebody else? Who else has gotten hurt?"
Simon looked down and only said, "Please, just go."
Alexis looked at him intently, and as if she saw through him, she said, "Okay," and walked away.
Shiloh followed her, whimpering as she went.
Simon then turned to face Bokron and said, "Are you a warrior? Or a coward? Are you going to fight like a man, or like a coward hiding in a powerful body?"
"Your words mean nothing. But for a bit of fun, I'll comply."
Simon drew out his rapier from its sheath.
"Ah, I shall need a weapon as well," Bokron said.
Alexis stepped forward and handed Simon her sword, who in turn threw it at Bokron's feet.
Bokron picked it up and held it out in a warrior-like stance.
Simon swallowed the last of his fear and swung his word, yelling meaningless words at Bokron.
Bokron parried the blow, and retaliated with his own blow.
Simon knew nothing about sword fighting, but he forced himself to learn as Bokron and him danced around in the dance of death, their swords flashing through the air, neither asking nor giving any quarter to the other.
Simon gained an advantage on Bokron when he faked high and slashed low, cutting a huge chunk out of Bokron's upper leg.
Bokron stared down at his leg in disbelief that he had been struck.
His disbelief was cut short as Simon launched a fury of blows on him, forcing him backwards.
Bokron fought for his life, struggling to block each blow, until Simon accidentally overswung and stumbled.
The tables were quickly turned on Simon as he stumbled backwards, fighting for his own life now.
As he was stumbling backwards, he tripped and fell flat on his back, the rapier flying out from his hand as he landed.
Bokron was on him in a flash, stabbing him through the chest before Simon could even blink.
Alexis screamed as it happened.
Bokron stood over Simon, a smile playing on his lips.
"How does it feel, boy, to stare death in the face?" Bokron asked.
"It feels...good," Simon said, and with a few more gasps of air, passed.
Alexis immediately went into action as she grabbed the sword from the ground next to Simon's body and threw herself at Bokron.
Bokron quailed beneath her fierce gaze and her determination through each blow. She eventually swung her sword so hard that it shattered Bokron's sword into a thousand pieces.
He stared in disbelief at his broken hilt as Alexis whipped her sword around and stabbed him through the belly.
Bokron dropped down to his knees. As he did, the wounds on Xeper and Shiloh healed, and Selah and Sinthrex disappeared.
Xeper got up and walked over to where Alexis and Shiloh were standing.
"Where did Selah and Sinthrex go?" Shiloh asked Bokron.
Bokron laughed, a chilling laugh tinged with imminent death. "It's magic. I just needed you to have a reason to hold back."
"What about our wounds?"
"More magic. I'm not going to bother explaining it."
Alexis stepped forward with her rapier and said, "Then let me ask you: how does it feel to stare death in the face?"
And beheaded him on the spot.
Alexis then ran over to the the body of Simon. She kneeled down next to him and felt for a pulse.
"Nothing," she said to Xeper.
Xeper and Shiloh stared on in dumb silence.
"He seemed so calm in death," Alexis said. "Why? I've never seen someone so in acceptance of it."
Xeper let out a long, slow sigh. "Let me tell you a story."



VIII



Two hours later, Xeper finished retelling the tale.
Alexis sat silent for a couple of minutes before speaking. "So he wanted to die?"
"Yes."
"So what do we do now?"
"We finish what they started. We find the original dragons."



Alexis and Shiloh sat on Xeper's back as he flew over the mountains.
The remaining dragons were spread out across the sky, searching for any signs of dragon life.
Without warning, a blue dragon came in their midst.
"Who are you?" it asked.
Xeper gasped. The voice was...feminine. He knew that female dragons had to of existed, but all the created dragons were male, and it shocked him to hear a female voice.
"I am Xeper. We are looking for the remaining surviving dragons."
"You have found us."
"Really? Can you take us?"
She nodded and flew off, Xeper and the other dragons following her.
They flew ten miles before landing in a humongous alcove.
When the dragonness landed, she made a loud trumpeting sound, and over five thousand dragons flew out from the trees and circled over their heads.
"Welcome to Kroslina, home of the dragons," she said.
"Home," Xeper whispered.



Epilogue



The time of the dragons continues to be a glorious time. Thanks to the efforts of Simon, Selah, Shiloh, Sinthrex, Xeper, Marcus, and Alexis, the dragons could live in peace across the glove, without fear of Bokron or humans.
Xeper, Alexis, and Shiloh continue to live in Kroslina.
The dragons erected a monument of Simon, Selah, Shiloh, Sinthrex, Xeper, Marcus, and Alexis in honor of them. Simon stood in the center, slightly in front of the others, a rapier in his hand, with words etched into the monument underneath his feet:


Died for the life of others:

with the names Simon, Selah, and Sinthrex underneath it.
And underneath that was written:


Never forget.



*****


Simon stood at the gates of Heaven. He opened them and walked along the road. He looked around, awestruck at the majestic beauty.
He drew his gaze back to where the road went and gasped.
There she stood.
She stood, an angel of beauty. Light radiated from her, making her seem even more beautiful than ever. Her hair flowed freely down, blowing slightly in an unfelt wind.
Simon smiled as she walked toward him.
She stopped a foot from him and smiled back. "You're here," she said.
"I am," he said, and hugged her.
"Did you come for me?" she whispered in his ear.
"Yes."
They released the embrace and walked down the street, Simon having his arm around her shoulders.
She turned and face him and said, "I love you too."


THE END!!!!



*choir sings Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus"*

lol....


anyway, sorry about throwing another character in at the last chapter.....i didn't realize i would need another one 'til i started this chapter, so......but when i go back and redo it, i'll space her story throughout the whole book......


anyway...


HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! lol.....

thanx, DS4.....took me long enough...lol.

Ok, here's the verdict:

I really liked the addition of Alexis; I did not see that coming.

I also thought that, while minimal, you did a pretty good job with the battle.

What I did NOT like was (a) Simon dying (but seriously, that's not a real issue) and (b) HOW Simon died.

I liked the fight scene, but I did not like the fact that Simon died and didn't really save anyone. Alexis was the one that saved the Dragons. It seemed to defeat the purpose of the whole story. You talk about Simon the whole time and build up his character and then....he dies and accomplishes nothing? It's almost as if you were extolling the fact that, if your girlfriend dies, you should die too so you can see her in heaven. Now, I understand your pain, but the least you could do was allow Simon to somehow do something pivotal to the climax instead of just getting stabbed.

So yeah, this last chapter was a mixed bag: you did well with description and action etc., but the message you sent to the reader was not so great. Close friends are blessings, yes, but you can't base your worth and purpose in life off them.

Sorry, did I ramble?

no no, it's fine.



but at least he didn't kill himself.....and through his death, Alexis was able to kill Bokron where before she probably wouldn't of been able to.....

Well, that's not altogether clear. Maybe if Simon does something that's obviously important, then it would make more sense for him to die. Like if he wounds Bokron severely before he is stabbed.

I'm not in this conversation that your in but i could say that the prolouge could use some work. No offense. I wrote a prolouge one day and then i continued with like 5 more chapters and now i'm writing a long book that only one person's seen.I think that your prolouge is ok (from a 1-10 scale i would probably rate it a 5 )
hope this helps and no offense

I think your critique would have been a little more helpful if you could point out why and where it needs work.

well sorry i didnt' say that....didnt' think of that
i only read the prolouge not whatever else sj wrote and i thought i'd check it out because i love dragons so i just thought it could use a little more in the plot but now that i think of it i think that i would like it more if i read more of the story. i just didnt' like the plot much but did you read more of what sj wrote? or did sj write more? and if you did read more what was it about and was it good i mean did you like it?

The prologue was more background than anything else. It helped to introduce the reader to situation leading up to the story.

SJ DID finish the story (or at least the rough draft) and the chapters are scattered throughout this thread.

I will say that the dialogue in this story is, in my opinion, better than most. SJ does a good job of making it sound realistic and natural: it sounds like something I would say.

I think the story is good too. It suffers a little from lack of description, but SJ has already made it known that he will go back and expand it.

why thank you....lol. yeah, my friend and I are working on the description now.....cuz he's awesome at it....lol. obviously, i'm not.....

thanx


yeah, i could be. but will i be? well, i guess that depends on me....lol. but i couldn't of chosen a worse time to try with this economy......oh well. that'll make it all the better if i do become one.

Lol, Perseverance! And nachos...

Anyhoo, I would love to be an author someday too. I figure the best way to become one is to write a lot to develop style and have others critique (NOT criticize) it. And of course, you have to know people like CP did.

By the way, SJ, have you read any of my story? The Seed and/or Across the world? I'm not forcing you to--I'm just curious.

no. i really want to, but i'm just so busy.....i've got a lot going on.

Me too...me too.

yeah. i play the piano for our church....so that takes a lot of my time....

I do too, but I play off of chord sheets, so it's easier and doesn't require as much practice. It's basically school, my job, and...ehem...Half-Life 2 that has kept me from writing a lot.

yeah, so do i.....well, i do both. for our traditional service i do music, but the contemporary i do chords.

So you stay for more than one service? And when you do the contemporary, is it with a band or do you play by yourself?

oh, the contemporary service is only once a month. it's a new thing our pastor is trying. and yes, i have a band.....we practice a lot, so that's why i don't have a lot of time.

Lol, our band (mostly teens) doesn't practice nearly as much. We practice newish songs once a month, then wing it the rest, lol. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

yeah, ours is all teens too. but yeah, we practice so much the songs play in our heads while we sleep. lol. that's a bit exaggerated, but you get my point.

At least you're probably really good at them. Our band doesn't do too badly, but it's kinda difficult for us to all get together and practice more than once a month and right before services on Sunday mornings.

the other people in our band are always at church every service as am I, so we just practice on those days.

That makes sense. Our band, though, isn't always at every service, and we only have one service.

well, i meant like Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening.....it helps that most of the band is related to the pastor. lol

Aha! So that's why it works out so well. Our group is a mixture of teens from homeschool (my sister and I) to public school, and from different families.

yep. lol......we're actually practicing in a couple of hours.....

you're no cristoper paolini(lol nobody is) but still not bad, in fact pretty good

thank-you. *yawn* i'm might go change something soon.....

Lol, I wouldn't compare anybody to CP, especially since CP's not really a writing genius. He's merely more mechanically correct than most people. CP's not especially strong in description, characterization, or story.

yeah, but he is selling them.....

True that. But I think it's because he did a LOT of advertising and book tours, etc. Plus he knew people who could publish the books.

yeah. that, and most people are just s.uckers for dragon books (that would be including me)

Probably because there aren't a lot of traditional fantasy stories out there anymore. People try to be different, and so their stories are so disimilar to the epic quest story that it gets rather dull. CP went back to following tradition, and it probably helped him a lot more than he realizes.

And speaking of tradition, if you can find it, I'd recommend Villians By Necessity to you. It's a great "traditional quest" fantasy story, and even though it's from the villains' perspective, it's a lot different than you'd expect.

okay, I'll have to look for that one next time I'm at the library

Just so you know, it's out of print now so it may be difficult to find. I borrowed a copy from a friend of mine, so that's how I was able to read it.

oh, okay. well, i'll have to check into it

Lol, ok.

lol.




just a little note, i am working on editing the book right now. it's gonna be a while though. lol.

Lol, it's ok. I can wait for the delux, edited copy of your story. My story hasn't been editted yet either...nor has it been finished.

BTW, here is chapter 3 of my story: Phantoms. Just a little taste of my writing style, I suppose. I thought you'd be interested.

Erendel didn't know how long he had paced the square chamber in mindless rage before he decided that such action was useless. The hooded elf had said nothing more; the voice had receded from the elfling's mind as suddenly as it had entered, and the eerie silence made Erendel uncomfortable.

In frustration, the elfling sat down with his back against the white stone altar and cursed his stupidity for allowing himself to be lured into the obvious trap. He should have gone with his instinct, he knew, and sliced the hooded elf's throat on sight. But somehow, it seemed as though it wouldn't have made any difference. There was something about that elf that had not seemed quite right. Was it the fact that he concealed his face beneath the cowl of his cloak (an uncommon thing for an elf)? Perhaps it was the fact that the elf had effortlessly created a stone structure from nothing, and then disappeared.

Erendel shook his head incredulously. That was it, of course. No living elf had the natural power to create something from nothing. It defied the laws of magic that governed Cellestiem. Everything that lived on the phlesa, whether elven or otherwise, had to extract the power to do magic from a parallel universe, known in elvish as the Sepheirias or Spirit World. The demons that inhabited this non-material realm would release some amount of their power to whatever magic user called on them, but required that the magician relinquish an equal amount of their physical energy. And as far as Erendel knew, no one had learned how to take the power from the demons without having to pay for it.

The elf was not of this world....

The thought struck Erendel so suddenly that he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.

What is it? A voice, again speaking in Erendel's mind, asked curiously. This voice was not the hooded elf's voice.

At first, the hooded elf's voice replied, I thought it was an elf. But that can't be right, can it?

It is rather unique, the other voice replied contemplatively. If Malstaag was not in such a hurry, I would have liked to have studied it further.

I agree, the hooded elf's voice said. But that is impossible under the circumstances. I say we kill it and be done with it.

Nay, friend. I should not like to lose such an interesting specimen. Let us possess it instead, so that it may remain alive.

"I can hear you, you know!" Erendel shouted aloud. Possession didn't seem like a pleasant end for the elfling, and he decided it best to take some action.

The voices stopped abruptly. It seemed that they didn't think him capable of telepathy, Erendel thought, insulted. He felt a barrier appear somewhere in his mind, and realized that the two voices were shielding the rest of their conversation.

Some moments passed, and then a rustling as of leaves being blown across stone blew through the chamber. Two forms wavered into existence before Erendel's eyes. He recognized the first as the hooded elf that had trapped him, but the second, also hooded, was quite a bit taller than the first. Erendel jumped to his feet, his hand at his side, and stood facing the two figures contemptuously.

"You exhibit the powers of an elf, but you do not bear the appearance of one," the hooded elf said shortly. "Can you explain to us why this is?"

"You will get nothing from me, demon!" Erendel snapped back.

The tall elf looked uncomfortably down at the shorter one for an explanation. "It is uncooperative, Kroakh."

Kroakh, the hooded elf, straightened up menacingly. "Then we shall make it so."

Kroakh raised his hands and threw back his hood, revealing a grossly disproportional face. The bulbous head was bald and bluish black in color. The large, hooked nose looked broken, bent oddly to the side. Two horns protruded from the rear of the demon's head, and one sat squarely in the middle of its forehead. The eyes were blank and animal-like: blood red and pupil-less.

Erendel's dagger flew to his hand and he crouched low, prepared to spring on the demon if necessary. The Kroakh interpreted the sudden movement as an attack, and his hands lurched out, releasing a bolt of turquoise flames. The flaming projectile rocketed through the small chamber narrowly missing the elfling as he dodged nimbly to his right.

"You'll have to do better than that, demon!" Erendel taunted, though he knew full well that there was no way he would be able to defeat both of the demons.

Kroakh growled angrily and shot two more bolts from his hand in quick succession. The taller demon had, in the meantime, maneuvered to the far corner of the room and squatted down, watching the battle with seeming disinterest. Erendel ducked the first shot and rolled away from the second, placing the flaming altar between him and Kroakh. He glanced quickly at the other demon and was shocked to see that it sitting in the corner, detached from the battle.

Without thinking, Erendel launched his dagger at the sitting demon. Just as he had suspected, the dagger whistled right through the demon's body as though it had never been there. But even more surprising was the fact that the phantom didn't react to the missile; it was apparent that he knew the futility of the throw. Now, without a weapon, the hopelessness of his predicament suddenly washed over Erendel. He dodged another blue bolt, but without much enthusiasm this time.

"You are something!" Kroakh laughed evilly as he circled the altar, giving it an unusually wide berth. "You know you have no way to escape, yet you still try to avoid the inevitable. Why not make it easier on yourself and surrender now? That way, demon possession will be your only fate."

"I'd rather die!" Erendel growled back.

"Then so be it." Kroakh shrugged, launching yet another bolt. "But think of the unlimited power that we could give you, if we possessed your body!"

Erendel spat at the spectral demon. He knew that either way, he'd end up possessed. The only thing that he could do, then, to escape would be to kill himself. This thought passed through Erendel's mind only fleetingly. The elfling had such a strong desire to live that it outweighed any realistic thoughts that might penetrate his anger.

Erendel's eyes found their way to the cold blue flames in the center of the prison. An idea found its way into the elfling's mind and, ducking two bolts, he lunged for the bowl that held the flames. He grasped it with both hands and heaved it up.

"What are you doing?" Kroakh cried out, suddenly fearful. This response only confirmed Erendel's suspicions.

All at once, the tall demon was at Erendel's back. It reached out to grabbed Erendel's arm, but its ghostly form swept right through the elfling without effect. With an irritated grunt, it backed away and prepared to launch a flaming bolt.

But Erendel was already moving. The small elf dropped to his knees, the fiery bolt flying over his head, and rolled on his back, at the same time bringing the bowl of fire up and propelling it toward the tall demon with his feet as they tumbled over his head. The action was so fast that the demon hardly had time to dodge the bowl as it slammed into his chest. The demon cried out in agony as it burst into flames and was knocked back toward the wall. Erendel came out of the roll on his hands and knees, leapt to his feet in an instant, and jumped toward the burning demon.

As the tall demon, now fully consumed by the cold blue flames, reached the wall, it began to pass through it. The flames, though, created a disturbance in the solidity of the magic, opening a kind of gap only where the tall demon was going through. It was literally as though the gap was the demon's body.

Erendel agilely jumped through the air and landed within the flames of the specter as it fell through the wall. As Erendel hit the blue flames, a burst of unearthly cold shocked his breath away. The gap that the magical flames created remained open just long enough for the elfling to pass through before the burning demon collapsed outside the wall and the recession of the flames restored the wall's form.

The two rolled together into the rain of the storm for many feet as though they were one being. When they finally stopped, Erendel scrambled to his feet and raced into the trees, leaving the burning demon writhing in agony on the ground.

That was good. It's got me hooked now. If I get more time, I'll check the rest of it out.



And btw, when I finish editing my book, there will be an alternate ending section.

Sweet! Be sure to post it when you finish it!

oh, i definitely will.

And did I mention that you need to then give me a completed copy, all nicely formatted and such?

yep. i'll try and have it by July for you. you are going back, right?

Yes, but it'll be my last year for ever and always...sniff...those were some good times.

well, then at least i can give it to you this year then

Yup. That'll be nice.

yep *works works works works* lol

That's right. You get to work so it'll be done in seven or eight months.