Short 5-Sentences-Or-Less Funny Stories

solembumer · July 10th, 2010, 11:44 pm

Short funny stories, for a laugh. I'll update this every few days for continued laughs if yall want it...

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the back yard. I was an only child... eventually.
When I'm bored, I like to go downtown, get a great parking space, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
There is a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while, I like to flick it on and off. One day I got a call from a lady in France who said, "Cut it out!"
It's well known that when all else fails, there's ducttape, plastic-coated wire, and superglue. Well, what do I do with those if I'm buried under an avalanche of moving boxes 3 feet deep, and the nearest neighbor is on vacation?
These are popular with my family too.

HERE'S MORE!!
I was walking outside one night in December and the next thing i know, a dozon flying foxes come outta nowhere and attack my house. I ran to the neighbors' house, pounded on the door, and told them what I saw. "Kid, those where raindeer." ^i know it makes no sense...^
Don't try this at home: It was a bright summer day and everyone else was busy. I got bored, pulled out a magnifying glass, and accidently set the house on fire.
"Kill All Humanity!!"screamed my brother. "Please start with him!!" I yelled immediately afterward.

Enjoy. These have made half the people i know crack up.

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