ok all. I said in an earlier that I may put my short story in that I wrote. well, here it is. Be wary, for it may not be what it seem. It's kinda a mystery story, so you try to figure it out. I'm open for critique.

The wind blew thorugh the trees in the forest, carrying with it the scent of destiny. It awoke me from a very easy sleep, riddled with dreams of glory and peace, dreams of happiness. I stretched my stiff limbs, which were sore from the rocky ground I was sleeping on.

I had been out for three days, tracking a herd of young deer. I was starting to miss my family. I wondered how the two young ones were. They must be getting hungry now. I hope we have enough food in reserve. I didn't dare think about what would happen if I failed.

The scent was getting stronger, but my acute eyes didn't catch anything. Then I suddenly realized that the scent wasn't deer. I turned to my right just in time to see a hideous creature charge at me, his short, curved sword glistening in the moonlight, hatred and malice incarnate.

The wicked orc flashed his evil grin, then aimed for my neck. He was cleaven in half before he could even lower his blade. He bore the markings of a scout, tell-tale sign of a nearby camp. I would have avoided them, but a camp also meant large stockpiles of meat. My family could subsist for months.

The camp was a mere 50 feet away.The smell of cooking deer meat poured into my nostrils, the sweet smell making my mouth water, the cackling orcs filling my heart with hatred. Their commander, adorned in the skins of my people with a wicked sword and a heavy club clipped to either of his sides, drank out of a silver flask with dragon claws carved on the bottom. He sickened me.

I gradually got closer to the camp, the smell of deer, cooked and raw, invading my senses even more. Not a single sound was the forest making, except for the cracking and cackling orcs. I leapt into the center of the camp, roaring with anger and hunger. The commander lay dead instantly, his troops attempting to surround me. My eyes glowed red, whether from the fire or my hatred, I know now. The tents surrounding the fire, my teeth, my body, all were black from the orc blood that was spilled that night.

Not a single orc was left alive. The meat found, I spread my wings and flew off for hom, like a great flame. The fire continued roaring, from the camp and from within me. Such is the heart of a dragon.

Author's Note: This is a rough draft. I'm open for any criticism and when it's completely finished, I'll resubmit it in this same topic. I will be sure to keep you all updated on how it's coming.

Hey its good just be sure and finish it. You wrote it very well. Git"R"Done and keep it up.

Very cool! Keep it up, can't wait to see the rest!

Awesome!

OK everyone, the story is coming fantastic. I had my grandmother, who is an editor read it and critique it, and she gave me a ton of things to make it better. So, I'll be resubmitting it in a short while here, maybe even tonite.

OK, I'm resubmitting it tonite. Here it is. The edited version of A Great Flame. Once again, I'm open to critique. People who have read it, please don't give it away to people who haven't read yet.

The cold wind blew through the trees in the evergreen forest, carrying with it the powerful scent of destiny. It awoke me from a very easy sleep, filled with dreams of glory, dreams of peace, dreams of happiness. I stretched, relaxing my stiff limbs, which were sore from the rocky ground that was common in the high mountains of the South. The wish that some fertile and soft soil would appear always came to my head, although the grey granite of the mountains was perfect for the purpose at hand. It still didn't exclude the fact that rocky ground was uncomfortable, and I hated it for that. Now that I think about it, it really was a mixed blessing, but in those days I was still young and narrow-minded.

The herd had long since moved away, and I cursed the fact that I slept so late. The deer were now moved to a different location, and that meant more tracking. Tracking. Such a tedious task. I was hungry and tired and had no wish to waste more time tracking them. But, the family must eat. I wondered how the young ones were. They were more than likely just as hungry as I was. The reserves should keep them alive, although the rations were less than satisfactory. But the thought of failing was inconceivable. Failing meant hunger for me and my family. Hunger meant starvation. Starvation meant one less family to add to my people's glory. It wasn't just the family that drove me onward, it was the fact that one could affect many. When my spouse and I are long gone, our legacy would live on in our offspring. And we have long know that although the actions of one may not seem important, they can become important thorugh the eternal passage of time. Thank the Great One for ideology. I drove myself to a wakeful state and continued following the deer.

After tracking for a few hours, the fragrance suddenly stopped. It was at its strongest, but the deer were nowhere to be found. I glared around suspiciously, knowing that although the deer should be here, they were not here, and that meant someone had hunted down the entire herd already. But who? My mind went through all the possibilities, and one always cancelled out all the others, leaving them equals. Suddenly, another scent flooded my nostrils. It wasn't deer, but something... different. I turned towards the smell and saw a thing lurking in the brush. It clearly knew my location, but why it didn't attack, I couldn't figure out. I hunkered down and tried to hide my location. The motion was useless, I knew, but it was also a good position should the figure take to the offense. During that stressful period of time, I observed the figure and noted its distinct physical characteristics. It stood on two legs, had large strong arms, and appeared to have long hair come off of its fairly large head. The mystery immediately cleared itself up and my enemy was now apparent.

The beast attacked first and started to charge towards my location. Being very large, I was quite apparent to the thing and easy to observe. I got back up and prepared myself for the onslaught. The monster swiped at me with his heavy sword, looking at me with fear and hatred burning in those small blue eyes. After swiftly dodging a blow to the heart, I swiped at the man. Within one stroke, his head rolled away from his decapitated body. As the body dropped to the ground, I grabbed the heavy sword and looked at the marking etched into it. Then I scrutinized the armor. Built out of leather and reinforced with loose chain mail, it was clearly scouting armor. The heathen also wore no helm over his brown hair, which only strengthened my conviction. A scout always meant a camp, and a camp always meant food. There was no doubt in my mind that the camp was responsible for the disappearance of the entire herd of deer that I was tracking. The thing's heavy prints were relatively fresh and easy to follow. I followed the tracks and kept my nose peeled for any scent that could give away the location of the camp.

The path was very erratic and never really got me any closer to the camp and oftentimes circled around on itself, but my persistance was great. So I pushed onward. Eventually, the tracks took me to a small clearing. I smelt something, very faint, but clearly a wood fire. Upon looking up, I saw a thin wisp of black smoke. Abandoning the scout's trail, I finally made some progress. The smell got stronger and stronger until it was clearly only about 100 yards away. I hunkered down again and slowly and stealthily proceeded forward. My stomach growled loudly, and I stopped moving, fearing someone had heard it. Nobody did, and I continued forward, trying to keep my stomach under control.

When the camp got close and was finally seen, I halted my progress and observed the monsters and their surroundings. There were about 50 of them laughing and gorging themselves around a roaring fire. Several were clearly drunk and singing joyously while taking large swigs from their wineskins. The meat, raw and cooked, smelled delicious and my mouth watered thinking about it. The tents were very ragtag, merely deer skins sewn together by wood fibers. The ground on the other side of the camp appeared wet and smelled disgusting. I tried hard to expel the odor and replace it with the smell of deer meat. The men were clad in different kinds of armor, some with scouting armor, others with iron battle armor. The leader stood out most of all. His tunic was red and gold, the markings of someone of high standing. Behind him, his tent was the same colors as his tunic. I saw inside the tent a glorious suit of armor, which perfectly mixed the iron and skins of my people together. He drank out of a shiny ivory flask with dragon claws carved in the bottom and snakes curling around the sides. He laughed garishly as he tore at the deer leg and drank red wine from his flask. They were like a group of troubadours, except they were soldiers. I laughed to myself as I though how easy these scoundrels were going to be. I hunched down and prepared to launch myself into the camp.

As I roared loudly, the soldiers, drunken and sober, started clambering for their weapons. The man in the red tunic barked several orders, then rushed inside his tent to put on his armor. Charging into the camp, I swiped at several soldiers in the iron armor who were poking their spears at me. I escaped, then brought down several scouts who had heard the commotion and were rushing into the camp with their swords drawn. Then the iron soldiers returned and started jabbing me with their long spears again. I swiped at the spears, breaking them, then charged at them. After knocking them into the feterous ground, I started burning the regular tents and began searching for the food storage tent. I found it quickly, but the way was blocked by the officer, now completely clad in his armor and holding his sword in an attack position. He cut me in the leg first, then tried to jab at my heart. After dodging it, I swiped at his legs. He merely jumped over it, which was exactly what I wanted him to do. As he was in the air, I grabbed him and plunged him into the earth. I stepped on his head and heard an awful crunch. Leaving the body, I strolled into the food tent and grabbed all that I could carry. It was enough to last my family months.

As I left the food tent, the soldiers were still scrambling to get water on the fires. Nobody payed any attention to me or the body of their dead commander. I paid no attention to them either. About to leave, I suddenly remembered the practices of my people. I turned around and burned the commander. But it wasn't the commander I was burning, it was the armor. Obliging the practices of our religion, the dead remains of my kin were burned and his spirit joined the Great One after who knows how many years. Having done my religious duty and my task, I spread my wings and took off into the starry night sky. The humans still rushed around looking for water, acting like how the rest of them act: disorganized, chaotic, and confused. In their vain efforts to locate the buckets, the fire continued to burn the camp in a blaze of glory. It was a great flame, much like my own people. It continued to roar, both at the camp and within me. Such is the heart of a dragon.

I have one thing to say in critique, but just one. Instead of using stinky, how about pungent or something similar? Other than that, totally awesome.

oh goodie. I think i'll edit that in. Thank you Saphira rox.

No problem, now when your book takes the country by storm like the Inheritance Trilogy, I can say I had a hand in it. (I'm just kidding.)

rofl. I doubt a short story would take the country by storm, but I'm flattered. Now, if I continue in a writing career, I will probably include this in my short stories collection. But I have yet to gain inspiration for an actual novel.

GOOD BUT IS THAT ALL? I LIKED IT BUT I WANT TO READ MORE.

it's only a short story. I'm trying to write a sequel, but I can't find any inspiration. perhaps you have some ideas?

YES but u dont have to use them. His brother's egg(like his child) mysteriously desapears.But more and more start disapearing. Soon Five disapeer.SIX dragons set out to find the eggs also there theiv's five our the parents and one is ur first dragon.

hmmmm.... that would make an interesting story. I'll consider that.

good story, i know how hard it is to come up with one

erm, you already commented on it. lol

Sorry my brother did that last one.

ok, two pieces of news. i'll start with the least important one.

the story was edited again. not a whole lot of changes, just some word modification. otherwise, the story itself remains the same.

second, I have gained inspiration for a novel. chapters still need written out, but I do have inspiration and I plan on writing it soon. I can tell you it's loosely based off of the story, in that the protagonist is a dragon, but it also includes humans as protagonists. so, keep an eye on this topic, because I'll start posting individual chapters here.

Is the dragon Feafnir? XDD
Add Star in if it is =P

ur a natural writer unlike me keep it up

no, the protagonist isn't Faefnir. lol. I haven't decided on a name yet.

Thank you, it's nice to know people actually think I'm a good writer.

please don't spam. keep your messages several words long.

i could have said a bunch of other stuff the smily shortind it no one else yell at me plz

hey, it's alright. just type out any critique or praise you wish. I don't mind either in the least.

can anyone put up stories like those?

yes, of course. just be sure you don't commit plagiurism. that's illegal.

Yay! My prologue has finally been written and edited! Here it is, the prologue of my debut novel The Dragonwar Chronicles: Dragonfall.

Gather around, young ones, and you will hear a tale of might, magic, and terrible conflict that all but destroyed our world. But be forewarned, this tale is not for the faint of heart, for it is also a tale of loss, sorrow, corruption, and young love that never flourished. So turn back now if you are not comfortable with these subjects.

Thousands of years ago, before the technologies of today were not even imagined, men and dragons lived side by side as brothers and friends. It is not written when the race known as dragons (to the humans) first came to the Earth. Some say they are directly linked to the forming of Earth itself; other say they are an extraterrestrial race that fled their home to escape persecution and war. But not matter how they came to be, they were powerful, they were intelligent, and they were old beyond reckoning. Men recognized their importance, so they valued their friendship with the dragons very much.

At first, when man was just emerging, the dragon-human relationship was simple: man protected the dragon race and saw to it that they multiplied and became strong again, and dragons used their skills in magic to grant the humans bountiful harvests and hunts; it was a day of worldwide sorrow whenever a dragon passed on, for they could not age nor be taken by disease, meaning the only way for them to die was by the hand of another human or dragon, making it murder and almost always bringing about chaos and famine and large loss of life in a region of the world. But as man evolved, so did the relationship between humans and dragons.

A political system was created, the first of its kind, conceived and created by the brightest human and dragon minds. To ruling councils were created: the Grand Council and the Elder Council, as they later became known. Both of them held their own special powers over specific areas of policy, giving the other no authority in that policy, thereby canceling out any possibility of one being able to control the other.

The Grand Council had control over urban areas and human affairs, its job to make sure there was housing for humans and dragons alike, provide plenty of food for the humans and meat for the dragons, and ensure that the human race as a whole was strong. The Grand Council had several branch councils that represented countries, regions, cities, and city districts. The members were elected on the city district; the chairman were selected amongst themselves. The chairman of each council, or one appointed by the chairman, was then sent to the next council up in the hierarchy, and so on and so forth, meaning that only the most powerful human thinkers were on the Grand Council. New councils were elected every ten years, usually giving them a lot of time to enact many policies that worked for the betterment of the human race.

The Elder Council, however, worked completely differently and had authority in completely different policy areas. It was the Elder Councils job to regulate rural and wilderness areas, provide materials for the building of houses and cities, and provide for the overall well-being of the dragon race. Unlike the Grand Council, which operated on a majority-rule philosophy, the Elder Council made decisions as a single unit--if one dissented, the policy wasn't passed. In addition, the Elder Council didn't establish inferior branch councils for organization purposes--due to the small population of dragons in the entire world (there was about one dragon for every 2000 humans), they had no need for smaller councils. The Elder Council was also larger than the Grand Council, mainly due to the selection process for members. When a dragon wanted to be put on the Council, he or she was sent through a series of grueling tests that measured intelligence, strength, and wisdom, often two at a time. If they proved worthy, they were sent before the Council to take an oath of loyalty to the dragon people. Because of this requirement, and the immortal lifespan of the dragon people, some members of the Council stayed on for their entire lives. Many of the members were a part of the original Council and thought up the system; this long memory preserved the basic concept of the system and ensured that the Councils never became corrupt and destroyed that which had been worked on for so long.

The system was seemingly indestructable, built to perfection with no flaws. However, there was one thing that weakened the system that kept the world from being ripped apart. The single most powerful, and most exposed, member of the Councils was the Running Pair. They were a duo of one human and one dragon that worked together as a team. It was their job to make sure the Councils were aware of the policies the other was implementing. Symbolically, they evened out the balance between human and dragon, for they were seen as a voice to the people of the Councils' decisions. Due to their constant traveling, they were easily the most visible of the Councils, and therefore the most at risk. It was for this reason that they remained together, thereby having abundant time to learn fighting styles and aerial combat, making the Running Pair a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield and the political field.

So it is with this system as the ruling power on Earth that we begin our sad and glorious tale of what came to be known as the Great Dragonwar, also called the Purge by the race of dragons. It all began like this...

Kerstov, it has nothing to do with yours lol That'll be clear when the next chapter and later chapters are released.