This is just something crazy I wrote last night. I like writing short stories, so... Honest criticism is welcomed.
PART 1:
A girl stands in a doorway. She was almost sixteen; the next day was her birthday. She was fairly tall, about 5’10 give or take, and slender but not nearly runway model thin. Her hair was the color of mixed brown and blonde, and was about shoulder length. Her intelligent, warm brown eyes had a way of smiling all by themselves and her face lit up when she did smile. She carried herself in an elegant manner, and was a friendly person in general. This girl happened to work at the central library in the city. This library is a massive structure of brick and wrought iron, thrusting its edifice high into the sunny sky. She walks into the library, signs in at volunteer desk, and takes a moment to marvel at the libraries grand interior. The same iron that decorated the outside of the building was used in staircases that spiraled away from the main desk like a flower blossom. The ceiling culminates into a giant dome which reminder her of the great onion looking domes of the Kremlin. The layout of the building was reminiscent of the Library of Congress; a feeling of old, stately grandeur that gives the building its own life, like it is watching over you. The head librarian, Ms. Lee, approaches, and the girl turns and looks at her. Ms.Lee is an older woman of about sixty and 5 ½ feet of height. She is somewhat hunched over, with a shock of white hair, and eyes that still retain the spark of youth. She asks the girl to go to the video room under the main desk, and check the inventory. The girl walks down the timeworn steps into the basement, and begins to check the many racks of videotapes. Time passes. One hour later, another person enters the film room, His name is Shia. She sees him in the corner, checking the inventory computer, framed by a halo of blue light. The shadows around him seem indistinct, shifting, as if on their own. He calls out and tells her that there is a tape missing in one of the shelves. She goes and checks it out. There is an empty area, in the section reserved for very old and valuable tapes. It looks as if it has been recently removed. She asks him if he is sure. He says yes, she hurries upstairs to tell Ms.Lee that The Tape is missing. She opens the doors to see a strange sight. The library is completely deserted save for Ms.Lee. The girl kneels next to Ms.Lee, asks her what is happening. Ms.Lee says that she took out The Tape because she saw some shadows moving around outside. She said she had retrieved her shotgun, and had it ready, in case They came. The girl asks her about what she is talking about, and whether she needs some medication. The lady says no, and that the girl must take The Tape and keep it from Them. The girl starts to ask why, and the door to the library opens. No one is there at first, but soon what looks like a man in a long cloak steps in to the library. He has an air of calmness and walks up to the desk like anyone else would, except that he does not speak. Ms.Lee looks at him, sees his all-encompassing blue cloak, brings up her shotgun, and fires. The cloak-man flies into the darkness. Ms. Lee says to the girl, escape with The Tape. The girl nods, but asks about the librarian. She says that she will be fine, that the cloak people will be coming after her anyways. The girl runs out the door and into the night.

The cloak-man leaves the library, under the persuasion of several shotgun shells, and stands outside in the sun. He turns his head aperture slightly to the side, as if hearing something. The sky turns to overcast, and the cloak-man calls his army forth. They are the Lincolns; robots modeled after the great American political figure, but stronger, faster, and armored. The Lincoln-Captain leads them into the woods after the girl’s footprints.

The girl runs through the woods, and knows that many things are chasing her. She thinks to herself that it is good that she runs on the track, otherwise they would have caught her already. She hears a whirring and then stillness. The life in the forest seems to quiet. She turns, and then dives in the riverbed nearby as gunfire rings out. The slugs hit the berm on the far side, but she is unharmed. She hears a whoosh, like the sound of a firing rocked, and then a distant explosion. Then stillness retakes the forest. Her hands, still holding The Tape, brush up against something cold, and hard. It looks to her like some type of taser gun, but of a type that she has never seen before. She decides that it looks useful, and picks it up. She puts The Tape down, stands up, and points the gun in the direction the shooting came from. She closes her eyes. In her mind’s eye she sees the blurry figures that attacked her. They are tall, all aligned in a row, and standing still. She sees one in the middle that seems to be glowing with a blue aura. She levels her arm, trains it on the blue form, and fires. 50,000 volts of electricity travel the one mile separating them in less than a tenth of a second, and destroy the shadow shape with a bolt of lightning from the sky. She turns and runs as the rest of them open up on her.

The Lincoln Captain is dead.

She sees a building in the distance, runs up to the door, and opens it. Inside are things appropriate in a child’s playroom. The door is smashed down by a Lincoln, but is shot with a shotgun shell. The girl turns and looks at the only window. Behind it she sees crackles of blue light. She picks up a chair. More shotgun discharges roar. She sees Shia outside with his rockets blasting off in flares of light. She throws the chair at the window, and it breaks. She hears a whistling high above the building that culminated into a massive explosion. She is thrown into a wall. Bloodied, but still mobile, she jumps through the window, and is hit by a bolt of lightning.

Suddenly she is back in town, walking on the main boulevard with The Tape, hale and hearty. She walks on, out of town into the farmlands. The stars are all out, beautiful, like little diamonds hanging in the sky. They are marred by a fiery streak that quickly grows into a huge fireball and plows into the cornfield she is standing next to. Tongues of flame shoot out the sides of the newly created pit. The girl ducks down, then stands up again, walks up to the rim of the crater, looks in and sees a glowing object. She starts down into the steaming crater towards the object, and wonders why she cannot remember her name.

I really liked the descriptions at the beginning-pretty cool. and the whole mysteriousness (i know not a word) in the whole peice.

the lincoln captain, the tape..lol

but it does get a bit confusing at the end. Im betting that youre going to edit it and give a good closing, so overall pretty good.

Haha, I write best when I am half asleep, although things tend to turn out strange. And it's not supposed to make sense, otherwise it wouldn't be any fun!
The end will get better once I think of something(and the story too)

that story is really cool. write a sequel

I'll get around to it, the only time I write fiction that is not boring is when I have a dream, or go temporarily insane or something.

PART 2


At first the giant meteor in the sky was seen as an oddity, in a world full of strange sights. It slowly grew in size over months, while scientists around the world scrambled to find a solution to the giant asteroid. Many solutions were tested but there just was not enough time. The object was moving too fast, and had somehow avoided the SPACEGUARD radar placed on the moon. With that, they determined that nothing could be done, and Earth would have to ride out the impact. The likely impact area was evacuated, and the world collectively held its breath. At 0244 Greenwich Time, the asteroid hit just north of Edinburgh, Scotland. The raging fireball hit the Earth at 30,000 miles per hour with an impact like the mighty fist of Thor crashing from the heavens. It created a crater more than two miles wide and sent a giant plume of ash into the upper atmosphere. The shock wave leveled Edinburgh. No people were left inside the city, but a city full of history was forever gone. In the middle of the blast crater was an item that would change the course of humanity.

The girl standing there, with the item in hand was witnessing the final fall of humanity. As she looked into the twinkling sky what looked like stars seemed to fall from the sky. The falling objects stretching all the way to the horizon seemed to slow then hover: an ocean of orange lights floating high in the sky as far as the eye could see.

The war lasted eight minutes. It took eight minutes for the spaceships to destroy all of the great militaries in the world. A final barrage of nuclear missiles from the humans destroyed several of the spaceships, but the world had ended. All the cities of the world lay in radioactive ruin. Humanity had stood together, and fought to the last man to an enemy that they never even saw. As the last missile fell towards the asteroid site the girl looked high in the sky to see her death plunging towards her. She raised her fist into the sky. As the missile exploded, blazing white heat encompassed her, then blackness. But it was an odd sort of black—a black shot through with streaks of blue.

Earth died that night.

She awoke several hours later at the blast site into a perfect silence. All she could see was endless fields of uneven glass stretching for miles around her. The only part of the surroundings that looked like it used to was a perfect circle of grass around her that was still smoking. She stood and surveyed a world without life for the first time in four billion years. Great clouds of ash blew around her and up into the atmosphere, turning the once blue sky grey. Tears for all the dead fell from the sky. The last human stood and stared at the object that had caused the fall of man.

Two minutes later, the girl vanished in a flash of blue light. The only sign that she was ever there was that perfect circle of waving grass.