Hi everyone! I am writing this nonsensical little tale in an attempt to overcome a bad case of writer's block I've had lately. This is not meant to be taken seriously. If you have no sense of humor, please click the back button at this time.

Chapter 1: Just Shoot Already!

"BANG! You're dead!" Galbatorix shouted as his OpFor character took out another Army Ranger on the opposing team while using the grenade launcher.

"Hey douche-face!" screamed the player that he had just defeated. "Why don't you use a real weapon for once instead of the stinking n00b tube?"

Galbatorix just laughed as he gunned down two more opposing players and then the evil tyrant king spotted something that almost made his heart skip a beat.

A gamer whose gametag read "Shadeslayer666" appeared on the Ranger team.

"Could it be?" muttered the evil king as he pursued the other player.

"Eragon Shadeslayer, this is King Galbatorix, are you the player with the gamer tag 'Shadeslayer666?'"

"Oh, look who it is!" Eragon's voice replied over the mike.

Galbatorix smirked evilly. He had longed to finally face his opponent. His OpFor character cornered Eragon's Ranger character and the evil king said sinisterly, "I must say I never thought we would meet under these circumstances. I mean, who knew Dragon Riders played Call of Duty?"

"Whatever, Baldytorix! I'm gonna knock you into next week!" Eragon retorted confidently.

"How so?" Galbatorix replied as he lined up a headshot.

"Because, I'm a Dragon Rider! And here comes my dragon!" Eragon said gleefully.

Then Eragon called in an airstrike on Galbatorix and a squadron of jets unleashed everything they had onto him.

"CRAAAAAAP!" Galby shouted as he respawned. Unfortunately, the second he respawned, the grenade indicator appeared and before he had a chance to react, it blew up, killing him again.

He made his way across the map again, dodging six grenades, an incompetent sniper, 50 enemy sentry guns, and some n00b with a javelin. At long last, Galbatorix located "Shadeslayer666" again.

"Curses!" Eragon shouted as he realized that he was now completely out of ammo and grenades.

"Muhahahahaha!" Galby laughed evilly. "Vengeance is mine, Eragon Shadeslayer! You're all out of ammo and all I need is one more kill to win this match!"

Eragon laughed into the mike and replied, "Actually I am about to win this match!"

"How so? I have five clips of ammo in each gun and you have nothing!"

"Like this! I still have my 25 killstreak reward!" Eragon shouted smugly.

Suddenly a ten second counter appeared on the screen and the OpFor announcer shouted with a thick Arabic accent, "ENEMY NUKE INCOMING! IT'S OVER!"

"You talk too much, Galby!" Eragon laughed, awaiting the end.

"YOU BASTARD!" Gaby shrieked as he unloaded his AK-47 into Eragon's Ranger character. It made no difference however, because the match had already been won by Eragon's team. The timer ran out and the screen faded to white, followed by a thunderous rumble. Galby screamed as his OpFor character dropped dead as the shockwave from the nuke hit. The OpFor's defeat theme played on the screen and Galbatorix just hung his head and cried.

A message from "Shadeslayer666 appeared on the screen. It read "Hahaha! If how you play MW2 is any indication of how you fight in real life then I look forward to kicking your ass real soon! -Eragon"

"Now I'm really pissed!" Galbatorix yelled.

"I need to torture somebody but Murtagh and Thorn aren't around right now! I guess I'll go torture Shruikan instead!" Galbatorix shouted as he picked up a sledgehammer and a bag containing some sandpaper, a bowling pin, a drill, the Batman and Robin DVD, a roll of duct tape and the latest Spice Girls album.

I'll leave what happens next to your deep dark imaginations.