Hey guys, I need your opinion on this. I wrote this as my amtgard persona. In amtgard its RPing so you can make your own character and this is mine. I'm entering it in our Crown Qualifications (You have to get them to be in office) and I was wondering what you all thought. Thanks in advance!

Valkrayie/Hikari <3

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I was born into this world in 1239. And in 1256 I died. This is my story.
My mother was a vampire, my father a mortal. My father had a certain “fascination” of the supernatural, unusual for a vicar but my life has been anything but normal. And my mother, she was… well… a whore. She found him and taunted him to her and he followed like a lovesick dog. Oh what a stupid dog. The result of that combination was me.

When my mother found out she was pregnant with me she immediately wanted to be rid of me but her coven leader decided that she needed to pay for her mistakes and forced her to keep me. After I was born however she did not hesitate to be rid of me; she left me on my father’s doorstep without even a note of explanation. Fortunately my father did the math and realized what he had done. He took me in and began to raise me as his own. When people began to question who the young girl was that the vicar had taken in, he told them that he had a distant brother who had died and left him his daughter. Everyone believed him, he was the perfect vicar. Even I believed him until I was old enough to understand… to see what I was going to mature in to.

Unusual as it may seem I was born a vampire… Half-vampire that is. Yes I know, the stories and fables always say they can’t have children. Let alone vampire children. I hope if nothing else I teach you to not believe everything you hear. But I was not bit, I was born; unlucky child that I was. I though I was normal most of my childhood. I made no connection of my sharp teeth, always sharp nails. I ate normal food although it always held a strange taste for me, like dried up ashes in my mouth. I was half vampire; I aged like a human. My father never told me what my mother was, who was I to suspect I any different?

It was not until the fall of 1256 that I saw my first real site of blood. I was 17 years old, and after that night, my life changed forever. It was late; I had gone out in the alleyway to dump some moldy bread for the street rats to eat. A man was out there, he had fallen and hit his head on the stone street and blood was pouring out of his skull. As soon as I saw the crimson liquid flowing over I felt my muscles tense & my senses sharpen. I could smell the sweet tantalizing scent of the blood pouring out of the man’s wound. I had never wanted anything more than that blood and I could not control myself. I attacked him. He was already passed out from the pain so it wasn’t hard. I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late… Then he was dead. Shocked I could do nothing more than go to the man who was like a father to me. But he took one look at the site of me, covered in another person’s blood and he knew. He knew what I was and now, he didn’t want me either. He threw me out of my home without a goodbye. But I consider myself fortunate he did not warn anyone else about me or I don’t know if I would still be alive today.

I was hurt, tossed away like an old towel by the only family I had ever known. I ran away, I didn’t care where I was going I felt the need to get away. I had all these new overwhelming feelings of thirst and desire. I ran until I had nothing left. I found myself in the mountain woods outside of south gate and passed out from exhaustion under a pine tree. When I woke there was a man staring at me. Toorin. I discovered that he too was a vampire; he had been born to a pure bloodline and knew so much more than I. He became my teacher and my friend in the days we spent together in the woods. He told me that I aged because I was only half vampire, that unless I was bitten by another vampire I would continue to age and I could live a fairly normal human life. He gave me the choice, he offered to bite me and make me a full vampire. I accepted.

The night he bit me was a night I will never forget. When I woke all I could think about was blood, the way it felt against my stone cold skin, the taste of it on my tongue, the scent of it. Toorin taught me to control my thirst, to tunnel my power and use it to my advantage. He taught me that we could drink from other animals, not just humans. I hated the taste of the animals we hunted. I wanted more. I wanted the rich warm blood of a human. Toorin knew this, but he continued to teach me to hunt animals in spite of it. I don’t know how long we stayed in those woods, him teaching and me learning. All I knew was thirst. Eventually, my thirst was quenched and I was ready to move on. Toorin took me back to the manor where he lived. It was there I met Akira. When I first saw her I was overwhelmed. She was everything I wasn’t. She was powerful, strong, and above all beautiful. I had an instant dislike for her and I’m certain she felt the same way. I was jealous of her, I felt like she had everything. Toorin, a beautiful home, a heritage… But over time I came to realize we were very much the same. We had both lost our families… just in different ways. As much as neither of us wanted to admit it… We were very similar. One night, I was luring a human victim into an alley so I could feed when I stumbled upon Akira. She was bent feeding on her own victim. Late that night she invited me to her bedchamber and we shared our secrets. We both had the same thirst and passion for human blood but neither of us would ever tell Toorin for fear of breaking his heart and over time we became more than friends. We became sisters.

Time passed, seasons changed but we did not.
Toorin treated us like his daughters. He loved us, respected us and took care of us. Over the years we got used to the ritual. We would sneak out for human blood though Akira more often than I, and Toorin would go on his hunts, sometimes for weeks or even months.
But one day we went on a hunt that would never end… He never came home. At first we thought that he was just taking longer than usual, for whatever reason. But then we realized he was not going to come home. We were devastated by our loss and for years we mourned him. But eventually our tears dried and we began our lives on our own.
The year is now 1634. I am 378 years young. Things have changed over the course of my life, but one thing never will. Akira is my sister, in more than blood and I would die for her if necessary.

Lol. Thank you. But can we play vampires here? XD

Great story. I don't even like Vampire stories, but the writing is great and so is the plot. I hope you do not lose interest in your book and that you will persevere.

Its actually not a book, its basically the Bio of the person I play in amtgard, Hikari. But thank you =)

Oopsie I just read that... Sorry. I skipped the top part when I first read it. Darn, that was stupid.....

Haha its fine. Thank you for your nice comments =)

Hehe... leave it to me to do something stupid..lol

and you're welcome