Ok, now that I've finally gotten to be able to get my laptop hooked up to the internet (sooner than I had hoped) I guess I can post this... there is a bit of swearing and honestly I don't think it's all that good, so uh... *Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C Ctrl+P*

A really bad story with no plot at all


Author’s note: yeah, only I’d be able to pull something like this off lol

“Holy **** Rhoades! Your house just freaking blew up!”

Got your attention didn’t I? Haha, sucka, well before I get in to the house blowing up in to bits, how about a little backtracking huh? Just an hour, that’s all, I promise *wink* *wink*

An hour earlier

“Ethan you idiot, maybe if you’d stop eating those bloody Moonpies you wouldn’t be laying there like you just got punched in the gut” and here I stand before a moaning 16 year old pain in the ass that just happens to be my best friend, and full of three boxes of Moonpies, really, where does he put them? “But, would there happen to be a chance that there’s still one left for me? Or do I have to open another box and watch you eat your way though that one too?”

Ethan moaned his reply, “Really Swinny, do you have to be such an ass? Answer that honestly, and you can have the last pie in the box.”

“Yes, only ‘cause I’ve saved your ass from Darrel DJ and Robert more times than there are Moonpies in your dresser, and last I heard there are at least 6 boxes of them in there, maybe I should call an intervention? That would be fun, for me I mean” I laughed, if only right? “And I don’t want your Moonpies, I’m just checking to see if you’re going to notice your dog trying to get the last one open, I think his record is twelve minutes and fifty-three seconds, but it’s been a while since I’ve timed him”

“You know, one day you’re going to write about this and you’re going to just make it all dialog, you know that right? You wont even put in the bloody “He said, I said, it joked” at the end, it’ll just be “blab la blab blab blab, little description here, blab blab blab” and then after that you’ll put something like “Ouch, that kind of hurt” and make it your little narrative. Be a little more descriptive Swinny, paint with your words, the world as you see it, cause I’m really getting sick of editing your crap of talking and side notes”

Ouch, that kind of hurt.

“Ok, one question, ok?”

“Yeah sure”

“How the hell did we go from your dog eating your Moonpies to the way I write? Really?”

“What do you mean, my dog eating Moonpies?” looking down Ethan found his dog, eating the wrapper of a moonpie, in his lap, go figure right? “Oh come on Snuffles, you know your going to poop that out whole in a few hours.”

“Yeah, anyways, I don’t know about you, but I have school in the morning so I’m going to go home, and sleep, now that it’s eleven at night, and I have math to do yet, later” I said out the door waving behind me

“Night Swinny”

Current time


Only minutes before a raging fire had engulfed the house down the road from where I lived and found out that it was in fact the home of my best friend, Ethan Rhoades, needless to say, I wasn’t really shocked to find this out, only five days before his mother had caught us trying to make Brown Noise with a bass guitar that sparked every time you struck all five cords. Dashing out of the house still trying to get my shirt on and figure out which pocket my belt was stuffed in I ran over to Ethan’s house and took a look at the great sized blaze that most likely came from the Bass.

“Wow, where are the S’mores? Surly some one around here brought the goods to a fire like this

“El oh el whu’t? Oh the fireworks? Yeah, wonder who’s house that is?” was Ethan’s reply and I was trying very hard not to hit him with the stick that just happened to be on the ground by my feet, no one ever said Ethan was the sharpest tool in the shed, though with out a doubt, he was a tool.

“Um, yeah ok, say you wouldn’t happen to have brought your Moonpies out with you would ya?” Of all my great sarcastic comebacks, I love the results of this one the most, well, typically I do.

“No, why would I have brought my Moonpies out with me? It’s not like my house is burning down or anything like that.” The look on this five foot eight German kid was priceless, and I really hope he’s just suffering from denial or shock or something along those lines.

“Let me finish this Face Palm, and I’ll get back to you on that ok? Because the Fire department is here and I’m sure that by the time I’m done face palming, you’ll have forgotten why I’m doing this, ok?”

Too bad they showed up too late, that or we were just standing too close. I for one will never know for sure.

An explosion rocked the house and everything around it, the trees fell over, the car alarms went off, people flew in all directions, and a mushroom cloud formed over the building, Ethan and I were for some reason thrown in to the only still standing tree, which happened to be the willow that was often used for catapults, and were flung back towards the house, but instead of hitting the now decimated house, or the street before it, we were thrown through the house and in to a well, I don’t know what it is, I just know that it shouldn’t be there and when you go through it you’re no anywhere near where you were before.

&^&^*^&*^&*Self Proclaimed End of Chapter One (when did this start having chapters?)^&*^&*^&^&


Just a another side note, this is really just to get all this dialog out of my system now that I’m over my writer’s block at the moment *wink* *wink*also I should be cutting back on the third person stuff (like this right here) too as I become more comfortable writing


Chapter Two

When we finally hit the ground we were in a place that looked like Fond du Lac, the houses were there but they didn’t look right, weather was wrong as well, instead of the dry cold of winter it was the oppressive humid heat of a Midwestern summer, and an eerie light fog drifted across the ground much as it did in a swamp didn’t seem to help the humidity, not that it should of, but one could hope.

Jumping to my feet I shouted perhaps a little louder than I should have “Holy **** Rhoades! Your house just freaking blew up! Now all we have to do is figure out where the hell everyone went and why it feels like the middle of summer.”


See? Told you I’d get back to the house blowing up in to little bits.


“Whoa Swinny what just happened? It felt like I was flying and I remember getting stupidly close to a burning house and... What about my house?!”

Ok, so he must be getting over the shock now because he caught on to that, even if he was a minute or two late on the call.

“Um... Well let’s see here, I’ll start from when you were going on a Moonpie binge. You ate a lot of Moonpies by the box load, I left, went home, showered and started doing my math homework, saw a fire down the road, figured it was better to check out the fire than do my homework, found out the house was yours and that everyone got out ok, cracked a few jokes about you and the Moonpies, your house went boom and here we are talking once again, need anymore help getting back up to speed? Because I’m feeling three jokes about your recovery but I don’t think you’d understand them so... do I have one mentally stable bicyclist or a Moonpie addicted moron?”

“Eh, I’m not sure about the moron part but beside that I think you have both, why?”

“Damn, ok let’s find someone and figure out what’s going on, see those two houses?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, see the person walking between them?”

“Yeah...”

“Go talk to him, because we both know I lack stranger skills, and hurry to him will ya?”

“Hahaha, yeah I guess so” Sprinting away Ethan only made it half way to where the person was, which was farther than I had figured he would make it, before he ran face first in to an invisible wall, I replayed this happening over and over again in my head over the coming weeks for no better reason than it was funny. It just so happened that the wall wasn’t totally invisible, for faint parallel vertical lines could be seen at a distance where the wall stood, reminded me of a number of video games I’d’ve played in the past.

I stood up and jogged off to Ethan. Laughing I called out, “Oi Rhoades! What ja’ hit? Wouldn’t happen to be that wall I was talking about would it? Hahaha!”

“Wall? You said nothing about a bloody wall! You just talked about that person that was walking between the houses!” though I could have swore he added a “Jack ass” to the end of the comment though he never admitted to it when I asked him about it later.

“Hey, at least we aren’t being chased by anything that’s trying to kill us or something like that.” I shrugged “I mean, it could be worse, all we have to do is feel along the wall till we find an opening and go though.”

“Ok, joke, really bad because you know it’s going to happen, a horde of Zombies are going to come around the corner and chase after us and you know it too!” Ethan pointed at me accusingly as if he could read my mind and sadly, it seems that way...

I started walking along the wall brushing my hand along the unseen barrier looking for a hole to get though “Ok that’s not fair, you cheated, you weren’t supposed to know the horde of Zombies are coming, because they are there in the fog, though I don’t think they want our brains, well, not yours at least Haha...”

“Really what’s with all the bad jokes? And the secrets too? I’d like to know if there is a horde around the corner and if it’s really going to eat me, and how do you know they’re there? I was kidding about them when I mentioned them the first time” you know what, I’m really starting to miss the shock stricken Ethan, he was more fun to pick on, that or I just got used to the stricken Ethan too fast and dumbed my jokes down. I’m so mean to him some times.

Laughing I replied with a sweep of my hands “The jokes are just random and you know that, I don’t think them through, I just say them, you’re no different, as for the secrets, all you have to do is look in the fog and you can see something that isn’t quite human even if it looks like it and I think-” Sprawling out on the ground it would appear that I’d found the hole we were looking for and no matter how many times people tell you to look at what you’re leaning against, you just can’t apply that to a wall you can’t see. And if you can, get back to me on that.

“Wow Ty, it would seem the wall wants you to shut up, and I don’t blame it”

Again, Ouch, that hurt, insult to injury and then a little extra on top, ouch I mean, if the smugness in his laugh didn’t make a baby cry, I don’t know what would

“Shut the ladybug up Rhoades, at least I found the hole, now we can deal with the Zombies” An evil grin twisted my face, that evil grin I grin when things could get messy. “You up for that?”

The evil grin also has a “Stunning” effect on Ethan, like wiping that smug look off his face faster than anyone should be able to blink, let alone move their face “Is there such a thing as ready?”

“Nope, but I’ll take that as your yes, lets see what these guys want” A wolf howled in the distance, disturbing that a wolf would get close enough to town that it’d be able to be heard but hey, what do I know about this place?


End of Chapter 2



Chapter three, what’s in store for this one? Oh I don’t know, a few Zombies, walking, talking, annoying the hell out of my readers, though so far I’m told I’ve failed at that, ok, a lot of Zombies, but these are fun Zombies ya know? Maybe someday I’ll add names to the titles too... someday HAHAHAHA.



Chapter Three

Not ready yet

Chapter Three

The fog was getting denser by the minute behind Ethan and me muting any sound that came from that direction making me, for sure, uneasy, standing before this horde, for a moment I felt like some Alliance guy from the game World of Warcraft trying to get in to the Undercity.

“Hey Ethan you know what this makes me think of?” I asked just to see if he was on the same line as I was.

“Let me guess, Two Alliance Humans, raiding the Horde’s undead main city, the Undercity? Yeah, same here.”

“Well you’re the Alliance ****, making you a pushover and Horde hag with a undead dude making you the turncoat as well, so I think you should go talk to them first, cause I can smell them from here and well, ew isn’t even close to what I have in mind. Also, because I damn well said so.” They smelled like, a rotten egg, stuffed in a three month old stinky sock, and covered in superheated dog crap, with a pinch of sulfur on the side. Now if you happen to know exactly what that smells like, well, that’s gotta stink.

“What? You found the whole in the wall, you saw the zombies first, you smelt it, and you dealt it and how is wow going to help here? I’m only a level 58 blood elf paladin; these guys could easily be level 60 Elite raid bosses for all I know!” You know, sometimes I just want to hit this kid, and other times I just want to feed him to the sharks and leave him there, because that was just disgraceful. But now isn’t the time, which is a shame because I bet these guys would do a better job than sharks

“And I’m a 24 hunter, grow a pair.” I began.

“ladybug you.” A voice said behind us.

At first I though that was Ethan telling me off but actually, it was a Zombie that had walked up behind us though the thick fog. And they smell a thousand times worse up close than they did from before. Throw that on top of a face of pale rotting skin that looks as if it is peeling off, and you’ve got something that not even a mother might love.

“Pardon? Is such language really necessary? We haven’t insulted you or your people; we haven’t even said anything to anyone but our selves” I was fighting the edge in my voice, a little swearing among friends; yeah it’s all in good nature, but to a person that you haven’t even met? The nerve to some, people? I guess I could call them people.”

The Zombie walked on to the being that appeared to be their leader and we could just barely hear them speak.

“ladybug you Master, I have returned” said the zombie that had walked past us.

“ladybug you too, have you any news to share?” Their leader had a voice something a kin to that of nails on a chalk board or even diamond blade cutting 5 inch steel, just not as loud.

“That depends, Master, have We spoken to them yet?” I’m assuming that’s us because Ethan just crapped his pants and the lower ranked Zombie, I think I’ll call him Joe for the moment, pointed in our direction.

“No We have not, they have only just come and appeared to be arguing among each other. You there, ladybug you and come, We wish to speak to you.”

“ladybug you too, by the way, though I’d love to know why it is you swear at people upon first meeting them, if I didn’t know better I’d say it’s how you say ‘Hello’ or something.”

A tiny voice came from my other side, I’d forgotten Ethan was there, normally he’s talking, taking crap for something, or eating moonpies. “It is, they say ladybug you, as a greeting, I can think of a number of people that would love that, do we go and converse them, or do we turn and run while we still have the chance?”

“A little talk can’t hurt can it? The smell may kill us, and their faces may scar our minds forever but it’s too late to stop that, so let’s go”

Walking over among these people, that seemed to have more cloths than skin, in a chorus of “ladybug you” a breeze picked up and blew some of the stench away, and also started to dissipate the fog as well. But the breeze made them as uneasy as we were when we first made it through the hole.

“ladybug you”, Ethan greeted Joe and his Master formally.

“ladybug you as well, I am Oscar, and this here is Joe, my news runner and scout.” lucky guess, I swear it was.

“ladybug you” he replied to both of us. Now that we were closer, Joe seemed to have a reedier voice than one would have expected, even if have his neck was gone.

We both responded “And you as well”

“I am Tyler, and this here is my friend, Ethan.” turning to Oscar I asked “Do you know where this place is or if you have seen anyone else that looks like me or my friend? We do not know what happened to us but we do know that we would like to go home.”

“Ah yes, this is the borderlands, it is a realm that connects many other worlds, and we have seen a great many that look like you, however they always attacked us and would not flee so we often killed them and ate them for supper.”

Ethan finally found his voice, “You ate them? How did you manage that?”

Oscar seemed rather amused by this question, “Easy my friend, We kill them, skin them, cut off a slice of meat, open mouth, insert the meat, chew, swallow, done, it’s not that hard, just like eating dirt and sewage, ah yes, nothing like a good plate of dirt and a cup of sewage to start the day eh? You know, I’m sure I have some left over human here somewhere. You must try it, greatest thing ever.”

“Um, sorry but me and Ethan just ate before we came, and we’re still kind of full from that, maybe another time?” what harm will a white lie cause right? Well, that and I lost my appetite too.

Oscar roared with laughter to the point where he was actually bent over double on the ground wheezing and gasping for breath. “You know, I haven’t laughed that hard in ages, not even when Ethan was using I-doser’s Yaba, and I almost put that on YouTube, so what’s got you in stitches?”

A good three minutes would be needed before Oscar would able to stand again let alone talk, so I began making small talk with Joe but to no avail. So ten minutes later, after Oscar had calmed down enough he got him to start talking again. “Hahaha, the look on your faces, you really think we eat you’re kind? We can hardly eat bread let alone any sort of meat, no we eat fungi and the such, that way we don’t even have to chew. Hahaha that was a good laugh.”

“Ok, so are there other living people like Rhoades and me?” Well if they aren’t living they can’t be much good to us. I don’t know about Ethan, but I for one, can’t talk to the dead.

“Ah yes, a few, though no matter how many come, their numbers remain the same. You can find them about five days hike toward the setting sun.” Oh yeah, real old fashioned directions. “In the valley you find after those five days is what your people call a temple at the far end, this is where you will wish to go. I’d offer you a guide but there is no food that we can eat and all of our bags and packs have holes from the mice and bugs eating though them.”

“Thank you” I tilted my head at a stray thought. “Don’t you have anyone that works fabric? Surely someone at least knows how...”

Oscar chuckled, “Yes, many know, but none have the hands left to do the work, the irony, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Ah yes, the irony, um, if you don’t mind me asking, in what direction does the sun set? I can’t tell in this fog.”

“Follow this road, it will take you out of this fog, and from there you should be able to find the setting sun.”

“Thank you again. Come on Ethan, you’re oddly silent, so lets hit the road and see how far we can get in this never ending twilight”

And so off we went, following the only road out of the fog to some place that a dude, that had sheets of skin falling off, sent us to. Yippy, I just love the open road.

End of Chapter Three

Thanks, (I guess... )

Yea, I’ve finally gotten on my butt and started Chapter four, I’m excited to see where I go with this one.


Chapter Four

I awoke with a jolt as the birds in a near by tree began their morning song. We hadn’t made it very far the night before, but that may have something to do with Ethan falling asleep while walking, it was funny to watch him nod off and then walk in to a tree or a thorned bush and suddenly jump awake.

We had spent the night under what could be called an oak tree, at least it’s the closest thing to an oak tree that we could spot, and it was nice to see some green and fur after a day and a half in thick fog and talking with Zombies.

“So, the fog is gone for now huh?” Ethan said in an almost too optimistic tone behind me

I spun around, swinging the stick I had found on the ground as if it were a sword, and not quite taking in the fact that Ethan could possibly be awake already “Holy ****, I thought you were still sleeping, almost took your head off with a stick.”

Laughing Ethan couldn’t help but shake his head “That might have ended as badly as that time we were sparing in the basement and you stabbed me between the eyes, I think after that we started wearing ski masks and sunglasses when we fought didn’t we?”

I laughed at the memory of having to explain to Lorrie, Ethan’s mom, why he was bleeding from square between his eyes, Wasn’t allowed back at his house for a week and we couldn’t do anything but play cards and Half Life for another month after that, ah yeah, good times “Yup, fog is gone and that squirrel stole your nuts, and your shades too, wait no, that was the gopher lookin’ thing, ma bad.”

“Who? What? Son of a bit.ch, what the heck are you talking about kid? My Nuts? My Shades? Fog? Have you finally gone mad? Four years and you’ve finally gone mad?” Ethan reached in to his pocket, and I was no longer mad. “Oh, crap M’nuts and my biking glasses, I’m gonna kill that squirrel. Where did he go?”

I covered my face with my palm, though I don’t think Ethan would understand what that means, I never know, now that he’s been to Stupor and back he’s understood a little more than normal. “Well, it’s not quite a squirrel, as much as you’d think it is, it’s, well, it’s standing behind you, wearing your glasses and eating your nuts to boot, aren’t you the one always telling me to protect my nuts? And here you’ve lost them to a squirrel.”

Ethan turned around to find something close to your average tree squirrel, well that is if your average tree squirrel stood twelve foot tall, with claws and teeth that look like they were made to rip and chew the toughest meat around. Oh, and did I mention his blood red eyes? Yeah, deadly looking motha fuc.ka

“Oh fudge, um, Swinny?” you can see the bricks he’s crapping, good thing those aren’t my pants he’s wearing “Are you talking about this guy right here?”

“Yup, one and only massive cow eating squirrel around here, we had a nice talk last night, this being after you ran in to that branch and dropped to the ground, yeah he didn’t like having his tree getting hurt so I struck a little deal with him, told him where we’re from, where we’re going, and he doesn’t eat you, sounds great doesn’t it?”

The “Squirrel” grinned, “Yup I haven’t heard of that place you come from called Internet nor have I heard of where you’re going, this, McDonalds, But I’m sure they are great places, with many cows for me to eat. Hehehe. Now if you don’t mind, I must go and gather food and supplies if I am to be traveling with you two, I shall be back when the Sun reaches its height later today.”

As the squirrel turned to leave Ethan finally stopped crapping his bricks enough to talk “Wait! What are we supposed to call you? I don’t think Mr. Squirrel would be a very good name, and can I have my sunglasses back?”

“Ah, yes, no wonder everything looks so dark, sorry about that, here are your glasses, and as for my name, Relson will do for now. And I’m off now, so long” and with that, an insanely scary looking Squirrel named Relson, went bounding off in to the tree line on the other side of a field that I had not noticed before.

“We come from Internet huh? We’re going to McDonalds eh? What were you thinking? That’s thing is going to kill us when it finds out that you lied to it!” Ethan’s rage is legendary, or so they say, so far all I’ve ever seen is a lot of shouting, but maybe this time he’ll finally burst, this could be good...

“Ethan, I don’t know about you, but before I came over to your house I was on the internet looking at EBay of all things, and when I get back, I’ll be a headed to McDonalds for some fries and a Mcflurry, but that’s me, and yes, that thing is going to eat us, take a look around, do you see any cows? I see smoke further down the road suggesting people, or at least, something that has mastered fire, but no where do I see a cow, not even running down the road,” Squinting, I noticed something that happened to be running down the road, and was about to correct my self when I realized it was a dog, “see that running down the road? They have dogs, I think, but no cows”

Ethan, looking at the dog running down the road, found a few flaws in my rant however. “Okay mister I know everything-“

“You should know better than to say such things, you know I always make an as.s out of you when you do.”

“Let me talk, ok? Anyways, how do you know that there aren’t any cows? You can’t even see the town yet let alone what’s in it or beyond it for that matter, and more importantly, who the hell said that he could come along?”

“True, True, but how many villages would keep cows within its limits? And as for beyond the town, there is a shear cliff, at the bottom of that cliff is a lake bigger than Lake Superior, and he kind of invited him self, not that I’m gonna argue with something twice my height, but what I don’t get is, what are these things that Relson calls cows? You know?”

We walked in silence, eventually the dog ran off the road and in to the tree, as we reached the town limits and now walked among the homes and shops of its people, though no people were to be found only that dog, which we had seen run out of the town earlier, could be seen and he now trotted at our heels as if expecting to be fed. Where is everyone?

End of Chapter Four

Chapter Five

The Sun was coming to its peak and neither Ethan nor I had said a word since entering the village, no one was here, only us and the lone dog. An initial walk though showed mutton still cooking over an open fire, pottery smashed, doors ripped off, grain spilled all over the ground, and baskets shredded to bits.

As Relson approached us wearing what looked like a saddle and bags, the dog that had become our third shadow growled at him “Ah, there you two are, I had figured you’d have kept going past this place, anyways, I figured you two would ride me to where ever it is you’re going, no doubt we’d get there much faster than if you’d walk, I also packed water skins, fruits and berries for you to eat as well.”

Our heads perked up at the sound of any kind of food that hasn’t been on the spit over a fire for longer than a day or so. Even the dog stopped growling at the sound of food, poor thing, I dug in Relson’s bags to find the berries and gave the dog a handful.

Standing up I addressed Relson about where we were headed “So, our friends over in the village back there in the fog told us that if we head off toward the setting sun for five days we will find McDonalds, is that where you intend to take us?”

Relson looked almost insulted at the question “Where else would I take you? To this McDonalds, it seems like there are many cows living there for me to eat, shall we be off? I don’t think that dog much likes me.” He trailed off while looking at the dog as if trying to think of a way to rid of the dogs noises.

Rhoades piped up, he’s been getting awfully quiet as of late, “Yes, let us be off, before that dog does something stupid please”

And so we mounted Relson and rode for two days toward the setting sun without crossing another village, just trees, rocks, rivers, and more bloody trees were to be found around us as we rode.

As the second day came to an end Relson called for a stop and rest. “There is a village nearby, I think you may like to sleep in a bed tonight, no?

Ethan and I, both weary from riding all day, agreed and walked off in the direction of the village and were greeted by the inn keeper, why they had an inn, I don’t know but it was very convenient to say the least. “Welcome, I am Hannah, keeper of this inn, are you looking for a bed for the night?”

I looked over at Hannah, and noticed Ethan looking at the inn keeper’s daughter, how typical, “Um yes, two beds and perhaps something to drink as well, thank you.”

Hannah’s daughter ran off to ready the rooms at a silent command from her mother while Hannah her self got us drinks, “So where are you two coming from? There isn’t another village within two days walk of here and no one tries going there because of the towering beasts that troll the road between here and there.”

“We come from the Village of the Undead, at least, that’s what I’d call them, never really asked for the name of their village, and what beasts do you talk of? Could you describe them for us please?”

She placed the drinks in front of us, they appeared to be some form of cider, though they smelled overly sweet, “The beasts? They stand twelve feet tall, some even more, they have big bushy tails as long as they are tall, razor sharp claws and teeth, and blood red eyes from the unquenchable thirst for human blood. They call us Cows, just waiting to be sent to the slaughter house, there was a legend long ago of one that could use a powerful weapon against them and drive them away but that legend’s tale and the weapon its self have been lost in the pages of history, much as the origins of our people were.”

Ethan turned to me gravely “How badly did we want to know what he called Cows? And why is this one helping us, or is he really helping us? How do we know he’s not touting us around on his back for the rest of them to see? Maybe we should look in to fighting him off?”

He had quite a few good points there, “You ask too many questions at once, but, I agree with you, we should try to get rid of him,” Turning to Hannah I asked, “Is there a blacksmith in this village? One that will be up at this hour?”

“Yes there is, if you’re silent you can still hear his hammer ringing, why? You don’t think maybe you could stop the beasts do you?”

“Well, actually one picked us up and promised to take us where we were going and we stopped here for the night, but after hearing what you had to say, we don’t feel so good about riding him to where we are going, I was asking about the blacksmith in hope that maybe I could go over there and put something together that could help us sway the beast that carried us to let us go, thank you for the drink, I shall be back, Oh Silent One, you coming or staying here?”

Finishing off his drink Ethan handed his mug to Hannah and followed after me. “So, what do you plan on building? A sword that burst in to flame? Or maybe a catapult? What’s going though your mind Swinson, and why the sudden change of heart?”

“Change of heart? I guess you could call it that, I was waiting for the opportune time to take care of Relson, but sitting on his back all day doesn’t give that to us, so I’m taking now as the time to act, as for what I’m going to make, only time will-”

A woman’s scream pierced the night “The beasts are attacking the village!”

Glancing over at Ethan, we both sprinted to where we had heard the pounding of a hammer moments before


end of chapter five

Chapter Six

Dashing into the forge tools were spewed about, left in panic, or just a sign of a poor smith I couldn’t tell, however a scroll laying on the work bench caught my attention, they appeared to be blueprints for a sort of weapon that one wouldn’t expect to find in a place like this.

“Ethan, get me an apron and hammer, I’m going to put your Zombie Nazi dream to shame, I’m building something grander than a gantline gun that spewed flaming rounds, TO WORK!” I shouted.

“What? How the heck did I end up fetching your stuff? And might I remind you that in the Zombie Nazi dream, you were eaten.” He trailed off at that last thought but ran to get me the apron and hammer.

I talked over my shoulder to Ethan as I began work, “Good, now stand out side and tell me when Relson runs out of people to eat. Okay?”

Popping his head out the door Ethan started counting as I pounded out the parts of the machine “Um, it’s looks like there is a mob running away from us toward the other end of town, why? What happens when Relson runs out of people to eat?”

“Good, because when they run out, we’re next on the menu.”

For the next hour screams could be heard over the pounding of the hammer Ethan counting the number still seeable and the snarling of the dogs that had been set on Relson, “Um, Tyler, I don’t see anyone left, and I don’t think Relson does either, how close are you to done?”

Putting the finishing touches on the gadget I looked over my shoulder and tried to figure out how long it would take for Relson to make it down here in his blood driven rage “Give me 15 seconds and I’ll be done. That’s all I need is 15 seconds. THERE! Done, I don’t know what it is, but it’s done.”


You Create: Nesingwary 4000 x1
You Create: Exploding shot x500
Your Skill in Engineering went up to 400

Ethan spun to find where the voice came from “What the blazes was that? And why did it use colors? How does one speak in color?”

“Ethan, not right now, I have to figure out where I put the trigger on this thing,” pulling open a drawer on the work bench I found another gun with extra ammo beside it, “Looks like someone was brought here as well, here Ethan, catch.” I threw the gun and extra shot to Ethan.

“What the heck? Where did this come from and why does this seem like a scene from Men In Black, where Kay give Jay that tiny little gun while he’s standing there with the huge gun?”

“Because it is, that’s my favorite gun, the 45, now shut up and let’s go get Relson shall we?”

Bolting out of the door, I felt a little ridiculous carrying a gun that looks like it could over power a 50 cal. While hunting an over sized, man eating, Squirrel, which by the way, is currently no where to be seen.

Ethan looked at me puzzled “You have a favorite gun? Wow, I didn’t think you had any favorites Ty, no food, no drink, no song, name, color, place, person, time of the day, or even a favorite day for that matter, but you have a favorite gun, what’s that say?” Ok, he wasn’t puzzled; he was getting a rant ready.

I spoke over my shoulder “Ethan, what did I say? Shut up and look for the squirrel, I do have many favorites, I just never told you, and no, that gun isn’t really my favorite, I was just filling the needs of that quote, now then, how are we going to find that over sized rat with out it ganking us?” Keeping an open eye toward the center of town and another to the tree line I could see nothing, though I heard what could be called, content noises? Looking back to make sure Ethan hadn’t ditched me, we rounded the corner of the house in to the center of town, there a twitching bushy tail could be seen sticking out between the buildings.

“Five bucks says that’s our squirrel having a feast right there” Ethan pulled out his wallet and waved a five dollar bill around, just to prove he could pay this bet.

“No **** Sherlock! What else would he be eating?” I trailed off, the big bushy tail had just gone ridged, and excited chitterling emanated from between the houses. “Hey Ethan, I think he knows we’re here, not that we weren’t talking loud enough to be heard all the way on the other side of the village, but I think he knows we’re here now.”

Relson backed out of the ally, claws and face dripping with smeared blood, innards hanging from his nose, and a beastial rage glinting in his eye, behind me I heard something hit the paving stones. I hadn’t noticed that the road was paved before and reprimanded my self for making such a pointless observation while looking at something as gruesome as this.

Backing away I fired a shot at Relson’s arm, not bothering to use the scope mounted on the side, however, I missed, should have made my self a bow not a gun, still backing away I pull the trigger again, this time nothing happens, go figure, I forgot to load the stupid gun after making it, knowing that I didn’t have the time to load, I turned and ran, into the broad side of a barn, well at least I can hit that.

Something came from the direction I was headed, it looked female, and was running at Relson. He readied him self by lowering his head and arms to catch her. When she came within about 3 feet of him, she lowered her body and appeared to try and take out his legs, but slipped on Ethan’s five dollar bill with one foot, and tripped over the 45 that he dropped, causing one leg to come behind and over her head, catching Relson square in the jaw, stunning him. Realizing that I had a chance to load the gun finally I pulled out the pouch I had put all the shot in to, opened it, and loaded it about a thousand times faster than I though was even possible. Taking aim though the scope I thought I didn’t need, I silently cursed Ethan for running off, and fired again, this time at least hitting him, even if it just clipped his ear.

The girl who was now climbing up the stunned Relson’s back shouted in what I could be an Australian accent, “Oi! Stop shooting, I don’t need your help, go run off like your friend!” Wrapping her arms around Relson’s neck she grabbed his whiskers and started tying knots in them all the while giving me the stink eye.

Reluctantly turning and walking down the road, waiting for an excuse to go back and help the girl, I found Ethan cowering in a rain barrel filled half way to the top. “Wow, not only is there fresh rain water in there, it also seems to have an Ethan that fell from the sky too, thanks for the back up man, it’s bad enough I just got told to back of by some girl that looks younger than me.” I grabbed Ethan by the collar of his shirt and pulled him out, and tipping over the rain barrel too, spilling the contents over the ground “Come on, Wet Road, lets get moving, I think we’re about half way there.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Two hours later found us, on the road headed west, with Ethan still damp, and the talk was painfully trivial.

Sighing Ethan picked a stick from an over hanging tree and asked, “You know those undead dudes we met way back when? Ever wonder why they greeted each other with ‘ladybug you’? It just seems like the oddest custom to me.”

“Well, think of it this way, if you had a face like that, and you said ‘Hello’ to your sister, what do you think she’d say?”

“ladybug you, but that’s my sister we’re talking about, you just need a flat chest and she’ll give you worse than that.”

“Exactly my point, a group of people, very closed minded about others, teaching the undead people to talk, and when they want to know how to greet others, they are told, ladybug you. That, or they got so used to being told that, that they started using it among there own, as a joke perhaps, you know how much they love jokes” I rolled my eyes and tried to keep a straight face as my stomach lurched at the thought of eating other people.

“Yeah, I guess I see where you’re coming from. I just thought it odd, that’s all”

“I know, you know what would be really nice right now though? Some food, water, and something to ride. Walking sucks, it’s slow, redundant, and almost as annoying as Michel Jackson”

The thundering of large feet hitting the ground could just begin to be heard beyond the last hill. Ethan, not bothering to stop while listening to the sound behind us, clotheslined him self on a misshapen oak branch.

Shaking my head at his stupidity, I dragged a coughing Ethan off the path and waited for the feet, and their owner, to come over the hill behind us, however, when the feet and their owner came in to view I wished that there was more coverage to hide in, for what was ridding at us was in fact, Relson, a little beat up, and wearing something on his chest now, but still Relson. As he drew closer he too spotted us and came to a stop, however, what I didn’t expect to see, was what was on Relson’s back,

“Hello, you two look like those boys from back there in that there last village; you two want a ride or maybe just some daffodil tea?”

Relson looked around nervously before adding “Do what ever she says, if you don’t, well, you need only look at me to see what she’ll do to you YAH!” she looked up at Relson and smiled in the slightest way, makes you wonder just what she did to Relson to make him so fearful.

Ethan leaned over and whispered to me, “She’s the one that told you off? She kind of scares me, and what the heck is daffodil tea? No correction, where do you get the tea? The stem or the petals?”

Laughing, I shook me head and replied to this, odd little girl, “Well, I’m Tyler Swinson, but most everyone calls me some form of Swinny, and this here is Ethan Rhoades, he hasn’t got any nicknames, and yes we’d love a ride, and maybe a cup of tea as well, though if I may ask, what is your name?”

“My name? Silva, nice to meet you two.” I think Ethan just dropped another brick in his pants, figuratively speaking.


end of Chapter six