You’ve never known pain till you’ve felt it
The power of loss
Where you look in your heart
And only find hurt
Is the power of loss

When memories become scars
You must ignore the glistening stars
And weep until the hole is buried
And weep until the hurt is hidden
Or fall to the power of loss

Then let strength fill you slowly
Let smiles come gently, rarely
Don’t forget
For guilt is hurt
And so is the power of loss

Guilt comes with remembering
Guilt comes with forgotten loss
Keep it close
But keep it hidden
Make it do as it is bidden
Till you join them up in heaven

woah
Its brilliant!!!
Thats not an attempt that artistic talent in motion!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you!!!

Nice. You need to watch your meter, though. The rhyme scheme is a little hard to find, since you seem to switch meters almost every paragraph. Try editing a few little things, and then it'll be perfect. Since you call it "an attempt at poetry" I take it you are a story-writer and not a poet. Just a couple hints: if you want to fix your meter, try counting out syllables. Each phrase should have around the same amount of them if not exactly the same. This rule can be broken if you want to put emphasis on a certain line. A more advanced concept of meter is to make the emphasis of the words on each line line up. Try iambic pentameter, it's used mainly in limericks. And you should definetely try a sonnet. You know, ababcdcdee. Or the Italian version, which is slightly harder: ababababcc. You really do have great potential as a poet. You should write more poems. That poem really touched my heart.

Thank you!!

good job. i like those.