here is one of my short stories i like to say:

one day there was a dog who went to the park he saw a star and when he saw the star he started havin a break down and went RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF for like an hour and den his owner came to him with a electric cane and shocked him to death!!! and den the do lived in his grave til he went to heaven

the moral of the story is dont bark for an hour

wow. that should be published. It has such a great moral too.

are u exagerating because i found it sad

thats the best story in fanficiton

i swear man it is

k glaedr that was the most retarted story i have ever heard.. i mean a 3 year old could have wrote a better story with a better moral.. ( no offensie )

it was retarded sorry my fav character was the star

My favourite character is the electric cane.

you are very cruel Firetongue!! poor puppy getting shocked by a cain an the cain is you fav thing?!?!?

Well it shouldn't have been barking. And the cane couldn't help doing it, it was the owner that killed it. So there.

hmmmm, my dogs constantly bark on a daily basis. mind if i barrow that shock thing? NOT! lol just kinding!

lord infamous lets see u right a better story in 5 seconds i swear to god 5 seconds

here is a section of my book . Terace controls the sky. John controls metal. I Terace the elf was at my eighteenth birthday party. My husband John the sprite was dancing with me. Our two year old son Leondrete was attached to his right leg. I gave him a kiss. This was the best birthday I had ever had.
After the party I lay Leon in his bed. His black puppy almost invisible in the darkness of the night. I went into my room. John lay asleep. I climbed into bed. In the morning I awoke to the sound of john in his gym. I got up and went into my closet. I put on a pair of shorts a tank top and a blue jean jacked. I headed for leons bed room. He was sound asleep. I let him sleep in. I headed for Johns gym. I looked in but he wasnt there. I turned around. I screamed. John was standing there. "you idot You probably made me wake Leon up." i said laughing as I headed for leons room. I took one look around his room and fainted. John had followed me so he caught me. Leon's room was torn apart. HE wasnt there. In the midle of the room lay the queens shadow dragons colar.
dundun dun You will have to read it when it comes out to find out what happened

ok...

It's cool, but shouldn't you use connectives? There's loads of really short sentences. Good storyline, but a bit tedious to read. I can't wait to hear what happens though

the dude dies ithink

It isnt that short in the book, and john doesnt die, YEt