IC-It was a dark day at our camp.I readied my self for the great battle.Then the alarm was souded.I rushed to my post to guard Eragon and Saphira.Then it started.I drew my sword and charged with a great battle cry.It was ''For Alagaesia!''I had slain many men.In the process it was very hard.Many pikeman had jabbed at my armor that knocked the wind out of me.Eragon And Saphira encouraged us to keep the fighting.I did so.Then to my sight i saw in the sky a black magic ball headed to Hrothgar.I tried to warn him but it was to late.I then saw a Red Dragon.I told Eragon What had happened.He told me to keep men off Saphira while she took off.I did so but i also took off with my Dragon to shoot magic at the army and to come to my Generals aid if he needed it.I saw that they landed and i did so.Thron the enemy Dragon gave me a sharp growl. i stayed at the outside of the Dragons Circle.Then when Ergon was loosing i tried to come to his aid but Thron stoped me.Then i saw Murtagh.They had their talk and he left.I helped my General up.Then the battle was won.The enemy had Reatreted.

OOC- not an RP...a wierd fan fiction yes, but this isnt an RP.

what do you want me to change

OOC- You need to make a scene someone else can join, an opening for someone. Here is an example. http://s8.invisionfree.com/Wyrda/index. ... 0&st=0&hl= try to learn please.