OK..this is a story that is not set in Alagaesia but the world of Dzrakon (said like zrah-cone) and some of my ideas came from Twilight princess the world of Dzrakon is one filled with lots of mythical creatures, and I will list some of them......
1.Elves- they were the first race
2.Moray-also known as winged unicorns-they tied for 2nd with the dragons
2.Dragons, they and the Moray came at the same time
3.Nogards, (Dragon backwards) they came next and unlike Dragons they were all evil and came only in black, navy blue, and night sky blue
4.Centaurs came 4th with the Kalivor.
4.the Kalivor are creatures that can look like clouds or any other form of water, and they can be any size!
5.were-wolves came 5th with the were-cats
5.were-cats
6.Dwarfs were #6
7.Borkol are 7th-the Borkol are extra large evil talking wolves
8.Number eight is humans!



Chapter 1: Awakening


Arthilon (Arth-uh-lon) awoke with an earsplitting headache, and moaned, I wonder where I am she thought. She noticed a window far above her, through which the sunlight was streaming. She looked around and saw that she was in a prison, she noted that there was a post in the middle of the room to which she was chained... "Why is my arm chained not my leg" she wondered, and started to stand up. "Ugh" she thought. "That blow to my head was so powerful that my elbows feel like knees." then to her horror she saw 2 wolf paws instead of hands......"a wolf" she exclaimed to herself. "I must have been turned into a wolf" Arthilon noticed a pool of water in reach of her chain so she walked over to it and looked in...the clear pool confirmed her fears..She was a wolf!.......Arthilon wondered what she should do.. she knew that her father would do all he could to get her out but would it be enough? she paced back and forth, and her wounds split back open, she laid down and thought back to the battle on the previous day, and then lost conscious from loss of blood....

main characters
1.Arthilon--she is the elf princess and twin to Arthimir
2.Arthidain--king of the elves and father of Arthilon, and Arthimir
3.Arthimir--brother of Arthilon and heir to the Elven throne
more of the characters coming next post....if anyone wants to do the story of Arthimir feel free to pm me

other characters whom I haven't put on here yet


4.Fruelle the Elvish queen who died in child-birth with her twins
5.Suotha the name of the ruler of the were-wolves
6.Jytt (rhymes with "kite") the ruler of the were-cats
7.Thoa ruler of the Kalivor
8.Morthei (morth-ee-eye) the evil deathless human king who is the enemy of the were-creatures (the elves, Dragons, Moray, were-cats, and were-wolves, along with the Centaurs, Kalivors, a handful of Dwarfs and some humans)
9.any character that you want me to add!


please will someone critique my work..I can come up with the stories I just have a problem writing them down and them still being interesting

Thanks Silverwolf...I have been at a loss for names!



Chapter 2. The Battle of Carndilone (carn-duh-lone)



King Arthidain looked over his army excitedly. over 100,000 of the were-creatures had gathered. His army outnumbered Morthei's by far. He called Thoa over to his side and said "Thoa bring the Kalivor and scout out the land for Morthei's army." and Thoa answered "yes my lord"........The Kalivor crept swiftly towards the enemy when suddenly they stopped in fear............they heard the dieing shriek of 1 of their own people "what is it" some cried "I don't know" answered Thoa. Then it happened....."Nogards" yelled one of them. -the only way a Kalivor could be defeated was through fire...the Kalivor turned to flee but it was to late--their escape was cut off, and of all that vast host only 3 escaped. Afterward (the other 2-not Thoa)2 of the remaining Kalivor, haunted the land like shadows and were enemies not only to the evil creatures, but also to the good. Therefore the Elvish king cursed them and they were finally completely destroyed. The surprise had failed--but what did it matter? they still outnumbered there enemy 5 to 1....King Arthidain led in the attack, with his daughter close behind him. He sat upon the king of the Moray while his daughter sat upon the 2nd in command of the Moray. Slowly they approached the enemy, their footsteps proclaiming doom--it was all Morthei could do to keep them from running.
~In Morthei's army~
A Borkol approached King Morthei, "we have found some of those Kalivor sneaking around what are your orders sir?" a grim smile came to the Evil king's lips as he said 2 words "Destroy them"... the Borkol replied "yes my lord", and he ran off howling. Soon after a Nogard flew up and he said "my lord we have destroyed the Kalivor, and the enemy is advancing. You would be unstoppable if you were to mount me" the King slightly nodded his head, and while he mounted, said. "get in formation any one who runs will not live to see tomorrow. Now let us go destroy these were-creatures before they ruin your homes" the people cheered even though all of them trembled within himself.
~Back in Arthidain's army~
As they came over the top of the hill and the enemy came into sight. King Arthidain gave the word, "creatures of the were" he shouted "listen to my words. Today you must fight against this Evil man who destroyed your homeland. Give mercy to those who ask it, and remember why you fight. For our Families, For our Homes, and For our God!"(oos:yes the were-creatures had a God, and yes this last part came from something said in Poland)(i.s:) "Charge" said both Kings, and the battle began
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What went wrong nobody knew, but they had battled all day and far into the night with no success. When King Arthidain called the retreat, fear grew in all the Were-folks hearts. The Were-creatures turned and fled. Only 100 male, and 100 female of each race lived to remember that day. While there enemy lost only a handful. Of the hundreds of thousands that went to war only 1,600 remained of all the were-creatures.......King Arthidain looked back and told the king of the Moray to "STOP" for Arthilon was surrounded by Nogards and Borkol--he could barely see her. When they made eye contact she whispered in his mind and the mind of the king Moray (through their eyes) "save yourself" King Arthidain knew that she would not want him to risk himself, and he knew that if she was alone she would have a chance of escape. Through tears in his eyes, he told the king of the Moray to "run fast and hard" and he did.
Arthilon used her last arrow and drew her sword, she lunged with furry at the nearest enemy. She cut down so many that she almost escaped, but with a rush of the wind she saw the king Nogard rushing towards her. She tried to jump out of the way but it was to late, and she was pinned to the ground beneath him. Her sword arm was pinned beneath one of his mighty claws, so with her right hand she pulled out her dagger and slashed his foot--making him roar in pain and anger. To her surprise he backed up, freeing her of his weight, when he did so, she leaped onto her feet. The circle tightened as the Nogard king joined it, and suddenly off his back alighted King Morthei, and he approached her."Well Arthilon" he said, "it looks like we finally get to cross blades." and an Evil laugh escaped him.



Please post and tell me things that could improve it, or if you liked it!.

this is going to be extremely short


Chapter 3. Moonstone part 1


when Arthilon awoke, she stood up and paced again, this time there was no light coming in, but her Wolfish eyes were enough. she noticed that her wounds had closed up again, and she thought to herself--"they will probably put me through tortures when I have healed" and so she began to devise a plan...............she started rubbing her wounds on the post to make them open up again."if I can bleed myself to death then they can't get any information from me" she thought, and so she worked hard at her wounds until they all opened up and were worse than before........... she soon collapsed from loss of blood, she knew that she would die in 5 minutes if her blood kept flowing at the rate that it was......she smiled at the thought, then lost conscious.
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Chapter 3. Moonstone part 2

the moment Arthilon and Morthei crossed blades he knew that if Arthilon had not been so badly wounded and tired that she could easily defeat him.... but with her this tired they were equal, so that he had a chance to win. small though it was..... Arthilon knew that if she had more energy winning would be easy but now she felt more tired than any other time in her life....."if things look bad for me, I will kill myself" she thought "I cannot let him know where the were-city is"................to the watching crowd it seemed there had never been such a swift fight..the 2 opponents blades moved faster than they had ever seen. but to Arthilon and Morthei it was a long hard battle--a battle in slow motion that seemed to last for hours........the moon rose to it's high point, when it seemed a piece of the moon started falling towards them...it was a moonstone (a very rare stone that once in the person gave the one who placed it there some power over them) the stone hit the ground and bounced back up, the 2 competitors both grabbed a side of it and this was where there fight became difficult, with their dominant hands holding the stone, they slashed their swords with the others trying to find openings.......... and then it happened they stood with the swords between them (while pulling on the stone) when Morthei used this to his advantage and let go of the stone and jumped back with his sword....... Arthilon stumbled back and the moonstone flew from her grasp she charged forward and when their blades met again she realized that he was pulling strength from his Nogard...... with him pulling this strength she knew she couldn't win, so she prepared herself to die..........

I will put part 3 soon...........

here's the last part of the chapter

Chapter 3. Moonstone pt 3


Arthilon and Morthei's blades again locked together in a life and death struggle. Morthei drew a long pale knife and cut her right knee with it making her fall on it. Morthei took his advantage and started a series of hard blows--the final one cutting her shoulder in a blow that would have killed most anyone else. The blow knocked her to her knees, but did not defeat her. As she struggled to stand he kicked her in the stomach making her double over. He took his sharp hilt and landed it on her head, making her fall senseless to the ground. The Evil creatures cheered and shouted Morthei's name, while he ordered some of his men to chain the Elf's hands and attach the other end to the Nogards saddle. He walked over to the Moonstone, and with a flick of his foot, it flew up into his hand. He mounted his Nogard and rode back to his castle, dragging the Elf behind him. As he rode past his army they loudly cheered and shouted his name, but they booed the unconscious Elf. When they got into the city, his name was still being cheered and the Elf was still booed at, though the people booing were not as numerous. Some people even dared to turn their backs on the king, because of the humiliation he was giving the Elf-unconscious though she was. When the king reached his throne room, he ordered the guards to disperse as they would not be needed that night. When they had all left he unchained the Elf's chains from the saddle, and dragged her towards the place where the throne sat against the wall. He then ordered his Nogard to push the throne to the side. When he did it a small doorway was revealed that led to a prison only the king and his Nogard knew about. A prison he saved it only for those who opposed him. He dragged the Elf down the stairs and into a room, with a single post with a chain on it--he took the previously mentioned chain off Arthilon and put the latter one around her left wrist. Before leaving however, he took her left palm and with his right hand he drove the Moonstone into her hand. The Moonstone didn't leave so much as a scratch. He left the room, and his Nogard pushed the throne back into place. Arthilon's left palm was pointing upwards when the moon started shining through the high small window. The moon shone off the Moonstone in her palm which started glowing. It was then when her shape was changed to that of a wolf.
OK end of chap. 3.........any comments anyone to how this could be improved..please tell me I really want to know.............and sorry about the typos, the computer I used for this one doesn't fix them.

Anyone can suggest a character for me to add. If you do, make sure you describe them so they can be as close as possible for what you had in mind when creating them!

Important Characters


1.the king of some dwarfs--Algorrc
2.the king of the Moray--Tvatí
3.the dragon king--Arkkrndür
4.the were-wolf king and queen--Suotha and Shyllvir
5.the were-cat king and queen--Jytt and Whirsk
6.the human queen--Ophelia
7.the Nogard king--Brrnkoor
8.the Borkol--Svhellix
9.the Kalivor, king, and queen--Torua and Thyvir

Thanks for all the names Silverwolf (by the way wolves are my 2nd favorite animal)




the meanings of 4 names

1.Arthilon--Noble ruler as the Golden Tree
2.Arthidain--Noble Ruler of the Free
3.Arthimir--Noble son of the Ruler
4.Morthei--Great Ruler of good

note the Ar the Th, Ei, Lon, Dain, Mir
Ar-Noble
Th-Ruler
Ei-Good
Lon-Golden Tree
Dain-Free
Mir-Son

Meaning of soon to be used name
Thorgrim-Ruler of that which is Evil
Or-that which
Grim-Evil

okay chap 4
Chapter 4---A New Name pt. 1


When Arthilon awoke again, she bit her front paw in anger. "I should be dead" she thought to herself. "what went wrong"? she wondered as she stood up in the blackness of the night. she suddenly realized that her wounds were closed up..."Magic" she cursed "I should have known that Morthei, would want me alive" she thought...."but no" she thought "Not Morthei, -for he is no good ruler- But Thorgrim, for he is Evil and cares only for himself".....and at the moment when she reached that conclusion, the moonlight streamed in through the window...."that's the reason why I'm a wolf" she said to herself...."The Moonstone must be in one of my hands-or paws-" so thinking she pointed her left fore-paw toward the moonlight, and to her delight her paw shone back...."Well" she thought "I happened to choose the right paw"......as the Moonstone reflected the moonlight she turned back into her Elf form... .. . "Now to escape" she said

This sounds pretty well devoted Morwen, and interesting. However, some is a bit hard to understand. Especially when two different people are talking. Instead of being like this:

King Arthidain looked over his army excitedly. over 100,000 of the were-creatures had gathered, and there army outnumbered Morthei's by far. he called Thoa over to his side and said "Thoa bring the Kalivor and scout out the land and Morthei's army." "yes my lord" answered Thoa........

It should be layed out a bit like this:

King Arthidain looked over his army excitedly. Over 100,000 of the were-creatures had gathered, and their army outnumbered Morthei's by far. He called Thoa over to his side and said,"Thoa bring the Kalivor and scout out the land and Morthei's army."
"Yes my lord," answered Thoa . . .

Do you get me?

Yes, Thanks a bunch...I'll edit soon as possible on wherever I find one of those.....once again ThAnKs

If anyone notices anything that I should fix please tell me....I really enjoy it when people tell me how to improve my stories...right now I'm to tired to go through it so if any one else does....please....pretty please with an ice cream cone on top...tell me, I really want to know

Chapter 4 A New Name pt 2


King Arthidain and Tvatí (the king of the Moray) were still galloping hard, when they saw Thoa and his daughter Thyvir with her mate Torua. Thoa said something to them, and their faces grew hard as they turned and left. Arthidain and Tvatí stopped running as Thoa slowly approached them, a look of grief on his face. After greeting each other in turn, Arthidain asked Thoa what the trouble was. Thoa answered, "Only 3 of the Kalivor remain, and I am the only who remains loyal to the Were-creatures."
Arthidain saw the pain in his face and he knew that Thoa had decided to leave his daughter forever. Arthidain said to Thoa, "why do you not go with your family whom you love, and see your race rebuilt?" Thoa looked into Arthidain's eyes and said "They blame you for the fate of the Kalivor, but do not fear, for I do not." Thoa then took upon himself a look of shame and said "If it is the fault of any it is mine....for I foresaw the possibility of there being Borkol on the look out for us, and I did not warn the Kalivor....I have chosen to leave Torua and Thyvir, and continue to serve the Were-creatures"
Arthidain looked into his face and said "so you have made them king and queen, and left them to the task of rebuilding your race?"
Thoa answered "yes I have made them king and queen, but to the rebuilding of our race"-here he shook his head "no I do not believe that the race of the Kalivor shall last more than 1,000 years....and I have chosen to take upon the form of an Elf never to change out of that shape again...." Arthidain and Tvatí, looked surprised as Thoa said that.....Thoa quickly changed shapes to that of an Elf...his appearance was of one who had lived in the sea and had been part of it..his hair seemed to be seaweed, and his skin was a deep blue. His eyes were the color of the stormy sea while his clothes were the color of the calm--and afterwards he was true to his word and never left that form....Though his form had changed, he had not lost any of his speed, and he could run as fast as Tvatí... So they continued running......

To be continued.......

Chapter 4 A New Name pt 3.


Arthidain, Thoa, and Tvatí, continued at full speed until they noticed that the rest of the Were-creatures had almost come to a stop....They had reached Fountinay (font-un-a) the Were-city....the Were-folk entered the gate and gathered in the area behind it...When Arthidain entered last of all the Were-folk he dismissed them to go to there homes...all 1,600 of the Were-creatures went past the empty home of the Kalivor, and wept for the misfortune of that race...all the leaders and their families remained at the gate to make sure they were all there....they looked around and saw all were there except Torua, Thyvir, and Arthilon.... "Father" said Arthimir.."Where is Arthilon?" Arthidain turned his back on the Were-lords and replied "ask Tvatí, twill be easier for him to tell than I." ...........Tvatí slowly and sadly told them of Arthilon's fate..-grief was clearly written on his face...all the Were-lords let out cry's of anguish and grief as he told them the tidings, and Arthimir tore at his hair....When Arthidain turned they saw a tear in his eye, now come the closing of the gates he said...They followed him to the gates of the gates of the beautiful homes which had once been filled with Kalivor....Thoa took both gates in his mighty arms, closed them, and locked them, and said, "These gates Shall be opened before 200 years have past...but it shall not be for the Kalivor, but a new race....and a mightier one." The Were-lords then returned to the main gate....Arthidain said, "Morthei is no ruler of that which is good, for that is what he seeks to destroy...therefore I name him anew--Thorgrim is his name, for all he rules is Evil."...Arthidain looked out the gate and sighed...would he ever see his daughter again?.....With a tear in his eye, and with a sigh King Arthidain closed the gate, and turned away......The gate remained closed for 1,000 years, never to be opened until.......

Chapter 5: Escape pt 1


Arthilon bit her lip in frustration, "How am I going to get out of here?" she wondered.... She looked up at the window far above her..."if only I could reach it" she thought....Then an Idea occured to her....."I could use magic" she said to herself though she abhored the idea--if any Were-creature discovered how to use magic, they were never again trusted....and if they ever used it they were banished for 100 years.. "Well" she thought to herself "What does it matter if I am banished for 100 years"... "I can always be a thorn in Thorgrim's side for the next century instead of doing nothing but sit in here.".......And that decided her........... She lifted herself with magic and broke the bars across the window...

Flicks back and forth pretty quick eh? I'm just asking, in my last post did you notice the ". . ." Sorry if I sound really rude. I'm just trying to help out. I've got this "thing" about how to set out writing and stuff... But... er... yeah. Either something like.

I stopped . . . and looked around.

I stopped ... and looked around

It'll just save the heaps of editing and stuff. Again, sorry, I'm a little nerdy when it comes to this stuff...

Thanks for telling me Silverwolf. I really enjoy it when I know someone is critiquing what I write. So any time you see a problem, please tell me, because I really want to know how to fix it!

Chapter 5 Escape pt 2


Arthilon ran quietly to the inner wall of the city-her footsteps made no noise- she was careful to keep her left palm pointed downward so the Moonstone wouldn't transform her....As she thought about it she, decided that being able to turn into a wolf would be to her advantage-as it would be easier for her to sneak past villages when the soldiers started looking for her....Arthilon was thinking so hard that she failed to hear some townsmen talking...she didn't know that they were there until she rounded a corner and almost ran into them. as soon as she saw them she jumped back, not knowing that there was a wall behind her..the Townsmen looked at her with curiosity and the one who appeared to be there leader stood up and asked "Where might you be headed Elf?" Arthilon answered "What business is it of yours?" The Townsman said "We were going to try to help you escape....we know of a tunnel that will lead you to the top of the outer wall--if you will follow our guide." Arthilon looked into his eyes, and knew that he was trustworthy and did not lie, but she still asked, "How do I know that you don't lie?"...the Townsman chuckled and said "You can't"....Arthilon was the one who laughed this time...."You are wrong" she said "I can know...and I also know that yours and your followers motives are good. I will allow your guide to lead me"...the Townsman smiled and said "Cnute I have need of thee"...a young man from the circle of Townsmen stood and came over to them...."This is my son Cnute" The Townsman said..."and he will be your guide".....Arthilon looked at him doubtfully and asked "What if you get captured?"....Cnute answered, "That isn't likely, because the guards know that I like to stand on the walls during the late hours and look at the stars."....."by the way what's your name" he asked Arthilon looked him in the eyes--which he lowered--and she stood tall and strait and said "Young Mortal, do you really think that you-who are obviously but a towns person-is of the status and rank to know? but nevertheless I will tell thee......I am Arthilon the daughter of King Arthidain!" the Townsmen gaped and stared as if they had just seen a mountain of gold and other valuables....Cnute gasped and asked "you mean THE King Arthidain, the one who rules the Were?"
"There is only one Arthidain, ignorant Human" Arthilon said-starting to get annoyed..."Let us be off" she said "for the night growth old, even as we speak"....and with that they set off....

not exactly what I had originally planned...

Chapter 5 Escape pt 3

Arthilon wondered how long the tunnel was, and why Cnute was carrying a large pack on his back...She asked him about it and he answered "This tunnel stretches for miles and miles, in order that we can reach every part of the city..it will take us a couple of days to reach the outer wall as we have no light." Arthilon silently groaned and said, "we need no light, for I can see in the night almost as well as the day--at least if some Moonlight were to stream in." Cnute informed her that the tunnel was made in such a way as to let them breath freely, but still leave no traces of it to the outside World-therefore there were no holes!
Time slowly passed as they traveled through the tunnels."Why were you named Cnute?" Arthilon asked as they sat for a meal 3 days later Cnute smiled and replied, "my name means knot, and when I was born, they tell me that I made a knot of anything I touched, and there was also another, dark reason" Arthilon wondered what he meant, but she did not voice her question..."We will make it to the outer wall in about an hour" Cnute said. All that Arthilon replied with was, "Finally"
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They reached the outer wall without any incident and Cnute let Arthilon down by a rope. "Fare thee well" he said to her, she nodded her head in acknowledgment and replied, "the same with thee-and if you find yourself in trouble, whisper my name 3 times and help will come to you." and with that she fled off into the darkness......

to be continued when I have time!

I'm really enjoying your story so far, but I've just got something I'd like to suggest to you;

When I read storys, I seem to imagine the characters and what they're doing in my head, but I'm having a bit of trouble doing that here, perhaps you can put some description in somewhere?

I've also noticed there's a few gaps in your story, but I'm guessing those will be explained further into the story

thanks....I was undecided whether to put the descriptions or not because even I don't know them, lol...soooo I'm open for suggestions from ppl who might know what these characters look like...there are gaps for a reason....things will and have happened that will become important later...hint.if there is anything underlined or in italic then you need to remember that word because it's going to be important later....

so if anybody can see good descriptions for the characters please pm me with them!

Descriptions of some of the characters

Arthilon:she has Raven black hair, and she is slender like a willow-wand. she is 6.11 ft like her father, and she has Hazel eyes.

Thorgrim (Morthei): he's around 7 ft, and he is deathless like the Elves. his eyes aren't a set color, they change depending on his mood. his hair is brown almost black

Cnute: he has wavy light brown hair, and is well muscled. he is 6.8 ft. and his eyes are light brown

Thoa: he was once a shape shifter but now he looks like an Elf with sea-blue skin, and hair like sea-weed. his eyes are the color of the stormy sea.

Arthidain: he has silver hair and he is 6.11 ft. but unlike all the other Elves, he's bearded. his eyes are a piercing green

Arthimir: in contrast to his sister, he is golden haired, and only 5.9 ft..his eyes are a deep blue

Tvatí: he's a Palomino (golden body, with silver mane, tail, horn, and wings). he stands 18 hands at the withers (72 inches, 6 ft)..his eyes are also silver

I had written most of the next chapter but it erased...and tomorrow I've got a dentist appointment....I'll try to get the next chapter tomorrow after dentist....

Chapter 6 The Capture, Meeting, and Slave pt1

Cnute smiled as Arthilon ran off into the darkness, when he suddenly felt a rough hand grab him by the shoulder. he whirled around and to his surprise he saw General Warshroud-a man his own height who had black hair and blue evil looking eyes-"You are under arrest for assisting the escape of an Elf" he said.
"You have no proof" stated Cnute Warshroud's eyes sparked in the torch light, and it was easy to tell that he was angry.."insolent fool" he half yelled "I saw you let that Elf down by a rope..do you think I'm blind?!" he called the guards over and ordered them to bind his hands. when this was accomplished they marched to the throne room.
Cnute laughed within himself as he remembered his dreams of this happening to him "well" he thought "they won't get anything out of me!"
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Thorgrim was sitting on his throne, he had an angry look in his eyes. His Nogard was standing close by. "What is the meaning of bringing this boy here, General?" demanded Thorgrim "I don't have time for you to bring in someone every time you are offended!" Warshroud bowed before the King and said: "this boy helped the Elf escape, I saw him let her down by a rope with my eyes." Thorgrim raised an eyebrow in surprise, and then he looked directly into Cnute's eyes, trying to look into his soul....Cnute felt the King's searching eyes, and he blocked him out-to Thorgrim's surprise-then he pushed into the king's eyes, and he laughed out loud when he found something which the king had not known about...."The Elves have renamed you, and you are no longer Morthei the ruler of good, but Thorgrim the ruler of that which is Evil" The King stood up in anger and said "Young fool .... I AM KING ......."
"Thorgrim" Cnute put in when the king was unable to call himself Morthei. The King's anger was plain and he ordered the guards to chain him to the Throne room whipping post and leave after that. This being accomplished Thorgrim ordered Warshroud to pick up the cat-o-ninetails and begin to whip Cnute; but before he could the door to the Throne room was opened letting in the light of the rising sun. The figure of a man stepped in and released the door-allowing it to close with a bang.

part 2

Frumaor embraced his two children and mounted his horse. He was a lonely man because his wife had died soon after the birth of his son. He had round brown eyes and very short, straight, silky, smoke-gray hair, and He had an athletic build. He loved his children more than anything he had…his wife had always been first in his mind when she was taken by a violent fever. He was the next person in line for the job of Prime minister, and everyone knew it. He held high favor with the king and was always ready to destroy his enemies. The King had given him a small peaceful village as his fiefdom shortly after his wife’s death, which was now almost counted a town… he was now called by the King to attend a council with all the lords of the land.
As he rode away from the village, he crossed a bridge going over a river. The old bridge complained as he crossed, but he made it safely across. He traveled alone, not needing protection since the Were had been defeated. For two days he traveled towards the King’s city. On the final day he forded a stream, and while he let his horse drink he noticed a smooth silver-white sphere in the water. He went over to the sphere and picked it up, the instant he touched it he knew for sure what it was. He rode on towards the city, pausing only to sleep for a few hours. He reached the city just as the pale of morning began to glow. He rode up to the door of the throne room just as the sun rose behind him. The guards bowed and one of them took his horse. He opened the door to the throne room and entered, light streaming in behind him. He released the door and allowed it to close with a bang

Chapter 6 The Capture, Meeting, and Slave pt 3


“My King” he said “You called me to a meeting, not a beating. What is his crime?” Frumaor asked. Thorgrim was slightly surprised to see his favorite subject, but not angry. He nodded toward Warshroud, who said; “He did nothing but help a Elf fugitive escape, and insult the King’s officers.” Frumaor looked at Warshroud and said, “So he insulted you? I am not surprised, after all most everyone does.” Frumaor had a strong dislike for Warshroud and despised him…even the King didn’t like Warshroud very much. “My lord” Frumaor said, “Could it not be possible that the boy is innocent, and that he was forced to show the Elf the way of escape?” Thorgrim looked thoughtful for a moment as he determined what Frumaor meant, then he said “What were you thinking of trading?” Warshroud looked angry at the thought of not whipping Cnute, while Frumaor’s face showed determination. “I will give you this,” he said, while pulling out the sphere. “What is it?” Warshroud asked, the only answer he got was; “something more valuable than you” the King looked at it with interest wondering what it was, yet because he did not like to appear ignorant he allowed Warshroud to ask the questions, on both their minds. Frumaor showed it to the King and said, “I found this last night as I crossed a stream. It is one of….” Here he paused and then a moment later continued. “It is an Egg of one of the Moray.” Thorgrim looked a little surprised again but he quickly hid it as Warshroud asked “But how do you know for sure?” At this point Frumaor was getting a little annoyed with Warshroud, but he answered anyways. “The moment you touch the Egg of one of the Moray you can feel the life inside, and also…they are always spherical, and silvery white. Do we have a trade my King?” Frumaor asked Thorgrim answered affirmative and took the Egg, and had Warshroud order the guards—who were quite surprised that Cnute hadn’t been whipped—to bring him to a prison cell until Frumaor was ready to depart. Several errand boys were called in to gather all the lords—all of which had arrived the day before. When all the lords had arrived, the meeting began.

I don't remember the direction this was going anymore...

Chapter 7: Death and Destruction. part 1

Arthilon held her palm stretched out toward the dwindling moonlight and changed to a Wolf. Why did she suddenly feel overwhelmingly sad, she wondered. She ran east toward the rising sun, but for what reason she was not sure. Across rivers, through forest, and fields she ran, always being driven on by... Something. Shepherds shot their arrows at her, and children stones from the safety of their village walls. But still she ran on, never stopping for rest, and never stopping to eat. Suddenly it came to her... The Something was Death, and Destruction... Done by the one of the Were. Night came, and she changed back to Elf form. Arthilon wept for what she saw. She had come too late. Her speed was for nothing. Arthilon turned her back and walked slowly away. Away southward. Never stopping, ever weeping...

Next part

Death and Destruction part 2

Frumoar cried out in grief as he held his dead daughter in his arms. He wondered why this had happened to him. He sat on his heels and rocked back and forth, weeping over his dead daughter in his arms. "Why?" he wept, "Why?" he cared not for the villagers, but for his lost child only. To him nothing mattered but Death.

Cnute slowly walked around the lifeless village, gathering all the dead in one place. The houses stood empty, and watchful, as dust rose in a light wind. No building had been harmed, but everything living had been destroyed. Cnute stopped to pick up a dead white cat. A beautiful creature that shouldn't have been destroyed, but he didn't show his feelings. Children who would no longer play, woman who would no longer take care of the village, and men who would no longer supply food and woodwork for the village. Death was everywhere, death was ever present. Who could do such an evil deed? Cnute wondered, grief filled him as he completed his task. The pain of death hung heavy in the air as Cnute made a funeral pyre.

Frumaor wondered where his son was, he had searched the dead and not found him. With the pyre's flames burned out, and his dead daughter buried, Frumoar felt empty. Quickly he gave Cnute his full freedom on one condition; that he find Frumaor's missing son. after giving Cnute a description, and the name he sent him off with two horses, while he himself rode back to the capital with his, and the extra.

Chapter 8: A New Dawn part 2

Cnute rode through the night, searching for Beric, and getting a little annoyed at not yet having found him. Following the traces of whatever it was that had destroyed the people of numerous villages and towns, he had been riding for nearly two weeks, and was sore all over.
Cnute slowly rode into a town that he guessed had been burned somewhere around a week before. Everywhere the stench of death prevailed. A dead body lay on the street in front of him, dead for close to a week. Everything Cnute saw disgusted, and sickened him.
He dismounted near the body, walked over, and sadly knelt beside it. The strong looking man's light blue dead eyes stared up in surprise into Cnute's own. Cnute studied the dead man, and noticed that his dark black hair contrasted his very light eyes. Nothing else really stood out to Cnute, until he saw the man's ears. Cnute started back in fear when he noticed that they were pointed. Not a Were-creature destroying the people then. He thought, "But who?" he whispered quietly.
Cnute noticed numerous other bodies of the dead--all with the dark black hair, very light blue eyes, and pointed ears. Strange. he thought, feeling uncomfortable, when he suddenly heard a feminine voice speak behind him. "Who are you to disturb the dead of the Dranthions?" Cnute turned, slightly afraid of what he would see, and saw a girl who looked like those who were dead, standing with a boy that... "Are you Beric, son of Frumaor?" Cnute asked the boy excitedly, who nodded in affirmative. "Your father sent me to find, and bring you to him." to Cnute's surprise Beric refused saying, "I am busy hunting the Destroyers of the home of Rendria here, and of mine."
The new dawn came into the sky, and Cnute's mind felt clear, with new determination. "I will help you, my lord." he said.

Any comments about things I might add or change?

Chapter 8: A New Dawn part 5

Frumaor tiredly hurried along a dark hallway from one meeting to the next. Being Prime minister was tiring. Everybody thought of how much power a Prime minister had, never the work they had to do. This was going to be another tiring day, Frumaor could feel it. As Frumaor wearily entered the place of the next meeting, all present stood to their feet and waited for him to be seated, before returning to their own seats. Yes, this was going to be a very long day.
Frumaor sat sadly alone in one of the Palace's many gardens, praying for his missing son. Where is he? Frumaor wondered. Then a dark thought came back to him, one he had had several times, Is he dead, or dieing? Frumaor wept as the new dawn's first light crept into the sky. He stood up to walk, and as he stepped forward he stubbed his toe on a small, smooth, white stone. A stone that would change his future very quickly. The new dawn shone down and reflected off of it, and there was no mistaking that it was... A Moonstone.
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This next part is not currently happening, but will in over a hundred years.

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Arthidain smiled at his friend Thoa. One hundred years had passed since the defeat of the Were-creatures. Now Thoa had a new family, and Arthimir-King Arthidain's son-had married one of Thoa's daughters. A new Were-creature race had come into being, and with the suns rising the gates to the old Kalivor city would be reopened. Already the Were-creatures race had grown back to 20,000, and in a few hundred more years they would be able to destroy the humans who weren't allied with them. Once, and for all!

The Were-creatures gathered outside the closed gates the onetime beautiful, watery, Kalivor city. Thoa and his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren stood before the great gates. Thoa and King Arthidain each took hold of a handle on each--intricately carved, with trees--gate, and with the new dawn shining behind them, they swung the gates open.