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 Valdir 
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Joined: April 5th, 2006, 8:30 am
Posts: 25
Location: My own little universe
Post Valdir
Name: Valdir

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Skills: Swordsmanship, marksmenship, horsemanship. Also considerable talent when it comes to
theivery.

Race: Human

Hair: Wavy, medium length brown

Eyes: Green

Home Village: Bridgetown

Parents: Father: Thorsten Mother: Serfina

Siblings: A sister, Jade, 15

Character Personality: Loyal to his friends and those he loves, Valdir is dedicated and focused on whatever task he is set. He is uncomonly clever, and kind, but he is slightly arrogant. If provoked, he is a feirce opponent. His major faults are arogance and passiveness. He is normally happy to let the world flow around him, and rarely socialises with new people, as he is quite withdrawn.

Character History: Raised in the town of Bridgetown, Valdir's mother died when he was quite young, with his father raising him instead. After his father went bankrupt, he took to the streets at the age of 13, and was caught at the age of 14 after stealing a bronze candlestick. He spent 3 years in jail, and when he was released, an agent for the varden contacted him, and he accepted the invitation to join. He traveled with the agent to Fathen Dur, where he was further trained in swordsmanship and marksmenship, his horsemanship already being above the level of most humans.

Weapons: Longsword, with runes on the hilt, stolen from the sword smithie in bridetown, and a
longbow, stolen from the weaponsmaster.

Likes: Nature, Beauty, waterfalls, food, people who carry lots of lose change.

Dislikes: Soldiers, urgals, people with hard to reach pockets.

Animal Companions: A large black stallion by the name of Shade.

Character's Physical Description: A tall, thin man, Valdirs collar length hair give him a slightly odd apearance. His face is unbearded, eccept for a thin moustache. He dresses in plain clothes, but always wheres soft shoes of a grey colour wich make slight prints and no noise. He also whares a black hooded cloak. Around his neck hangs a jade pendant on a leather thong, given to him by his sister after he got out of jail as a parting gift. It shines in an odd way at times, and is carved in the likeness of a dragon with strange runes underneath, which have not been translated as yet.

Dreams for the Future: Ridding the world of Galbotorixes iron taxes that drove his father bankrupt, and living in a large house full of things stolen over time. Finding love, and meeting an elf.

Reason for Dreams: Obviously, he wants to set himself up with reasonable comfort, but he also wants to help out his sister.

Alignment/side: Varden

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A crazy person does not lose there mind, it just becomes more entertaining


Last edited by wolfstar on June 1st, 2006, 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

April 13th, 2006, 7:44 am Profile
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Joined: January 26th, 2006, 4:43 am
Posts: 594
Location: Ellesmera, Du Weldenvarden . . where else?
Post 
Try putting spaces between each trait and put more history, personality, and appearance. Check accepted ones to see how long it should be.

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"He touched his fingers to his lips and said, 'Arya Svit-kona,' using the honorific he had just learned for a woman of great wisdom." pg. 163 of Eldest

Did anyone miss me? Sorry, I was on a couple-week hiatus. Computer crash. I had to go to the library just to do homework . . .


April 13th, 2006, 8:51 pm Profile
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Joined: February 6th, 2006, 11:51 pm
Posts: 4527
Location: Dreaming.
Gender: Guy
Affiliation: Lamp Shade
Dragon: DrAgonPhD
Post 
Also, there are some spelling mistakes that make it sound weird. Like Svit-Kona said, can you please put spaces between the characteristics? I can barely read it.


April 13th, 2006, 9:45 pm Profile
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