Ok, This is a Fanfic I've started, Ive done roughly 18 chapters, but Im fixing some before I post them. Heres the first for now, Comments and Critic wanted:

Chapter 1: A New Hope

Murtagh looked at the pale ceiling blankly, his mind filled with regret.
It had been a week since the victorious fight against the magnificent, yet crippled, golden dragon and its Rider. Although he knew it wasn't completely his fault, he still felt guilty. The bed creaked as he rolled over to face the desk against the opposite wall. Zar'roc, his only inheritance, lay out of its sheath on the polished wood. Next door he could hear the deep rumble of Thorn's sleeping breaths, his dragon was his only company in the cruel world of his waking reality.

The elves still at that very moment continued to attack Gi'lead. It wouldn't be long, he guessed, until they took full control of the city, they were a powerful opponent to Galbatorix. The black King had ordered for them to stay within the walls of the castle, until they had both fully recovered. Murtagh didn't complain. The fight had taken a great toll upon the pair. Thorn's tail was slowly healing, aidded by magic from Galbatorix himself, while Murtagh's scar gave occasional shots of pain. The fight had worn him down, weakening him and damaging his physical side.

In the room next to his, Murtagh heard Thorn stir, the giant dragon's movements making the walls tremble. Thorn yawned, a terrible roaring noise that gave him chills.

How are you feeling?? Murtagh asked.

My tail itches, the feeling makes me want to tear down the whole castle. Other than that I seem to be recovering well. And you?

My scar still hurts, it hasn't done that for years. If I don't do any swordplay for a week I should be fine. I can still travel and ride though if you need to stretch.

Thorn liked the idea of that. He enjoyed flying with his rider, without him it wasn't the same. Murtagh knew that.
We have to get out of here Thorn. Galbatrix is wearing us down. Even with all of the Eldunaries in the world, I still fear that his constant missions for us will damage us beyond repair.

Didn't your brother say that all you had to do was change our true names? Thorn asked thoughtfully.

I don't like the idea of that, and you know that Thorn.

Thorn roared, making Murtagh jump. Murtagh! Is your identity more important than your sanity and my own!? Think of what you are saying. With words like that you will surely doom us!

Murtagh cringed. Ok, ok. I'll find a way to meet with Eragon.

Finally you're speaking as a rider should. I will give zero tolerance. One wrong move could ruin us.

Ok, I'll go ask Galbatorix if we can try to capture them again. Murtagh gritted his teeth.

I will trust you to say the right thing, if you don't you will have more than your scar to complain about. Thorn threatened. Murtagh smiled, Thorn's threats were amusing at times.
Getting off of his bed, he went over to his desk where Zar'roc glimmered in the light of the oil lamp. Putting the blood coloured sword in its sheath he went out of the door and into the hall. Flaming torches on the walls threw shadows across in every direction. The black carpet mufled Murtagh's footsteps as he made his way to the King's throne room.

After a long walk he found himself infront of the wooden double doors, their golden timber carved to show the map of Alagaesia. Armoured guards stood before them, at least thirty, the silver metal that covered them glowed softly in the warm light.

"What business do you Have with the King?" a tall solider asked. He looked middle aged, with a short, black and grey beard on his chin.

Knowing how the system worked, he gave him a sharp order. "You can tell him that his Rider, Murtagh, son of Morzan, wishes to speak to him in regards to a matter that his guards do not need to know the content of."

Looking taken aback, the guard straightened his back and spoke to him stiffly. "Very well, I shall notify him of your presence and see what he wishes to be done." Murtagh rolled his eyes. This was obviously a new batch of guards, or they would have let him straight in. It was a frustrating progress.

A few minutes later the guard returned. After a quick signal to the others, the doors were opened. Making himself seem confident, he walked through the doors and stood before the twisted king.

Galbatorix sat on his dark throne, looking aggitated as he always did. His short grey hair was balding more from stress, his short, dark beard, obviously dyed, was thining. Wearing only black, his skin looked pale, purple bruise like shadows under his black eyes.

"Ah, Murtagh, I am told that you wished to speak to me about matters too important to tell my guards." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Is it really necissary to have that every time? I am getting sick of those nosy pigs."

"Now, now. They are there to prevent anything from slipping through. Now, what is your reason for coming here?" Galbatorix questioned.

"After much thought and consideration, Thorn and I have decided that it would be a wise move to try to capture Saphira and Eragon. The Varden and Elves would be weakened from their loss of the elder rider. Also, as your spies have told you, the Varden have just fought the citizens of Feinster, so they would no doubt be weakened from the energy of the fight."

Galbatorix thought about this for a while and then suddenly he drove into Murtagh's mind, making him wince with pain.
Murtagh showed him his thoughts of capturing Saphira and her rider. Thorn had helped him with it earlier. At the same time, they had taken the precaution of hiding their true intentions behind a barrier that couldn't be sensed or seen.
Galbatorix searched for a long time, causing Murtagh constant discomfort. Finally he withdrew and said, "You and Thorn may leave tomorrow, but this time do not return without them."

"I understand," Murtagh replied.

He turned to leave but Galbatorix called after him and said, "Wait."
Murtagh whirled back around, wondering what the maddened king wanted.

With a flick of his wrist, something purple flew into the kings hand. It was another Eldunari, the size of an apple. It glittered in the light.
"Here take this with you, you'll need it if those blasted elves are helping your brother and his dragon."
Murtagh took it, with what he hoped looked like a grateful look on his face.

Carefully putting it into the pocket of his robe, he left the throne room and walked at a casual pace to his room. Another chance at freedom had finally come.

I love this!
GO MURTAGH!
will you be making more?

To Rubysdragon: Im guessing your a fan of Murty?? Me too.

dracoaestas: Starwars?????
Well heres the next one, its shortish but they get longer as I go along. Ill probably post every 1-3 days, depending on whether the chapter needs edititing or not.

Chapter 2: Fear in the Night

Murtagh woke from his nightmare in the early hours of the morning. Cold sweat covered his body. Sweat mingled with tears ran down his pale face. He looked around the room, there seemed to be evil shadows lurking in every corner.
All he could feel was terror. He was alone in the dark, alone in the world.
He felt like he was going insane with fear. All he kept seeing was the terrifying visions of Zar'roc going through his brothers chest.... Saphira tearing Thorn to pieces, who then died in his arms..... Galbatorixs lifting his black blade above his head to kill him....

Next door, Thorn awoke from his blissful sleep, his rider's wild emotions had woken him. He reached out to Murtagh's mind, trying to calm him, but a a solid wall of terror blocked him out. Thorn was worried, Murtagh had never been as bad as this. He threw all his might at his barriers.

Murtagh felt a presence trying to enter his mind, terrified, he threw up his most powerful barriers.
The visions of his dream now mixing in with his deepest fears continually flashed infront of his eyes, making him feel worse. Sweat and tears continued to gush down his face, his bed was soaked with sweat. Suddenly a roar came from next door. But strangely enough he wasn't afraid of it. It seemed somehow familiar and reassuring. His mental attacker seized this sudden distraction and broke into his mind. The other mind didn't try to hurt him nor did it seem unkind.

Murtagh! What has gotten into you!

Murtagh relaxed at once, recognising Thorn. The visions stopped, he relaxed. He wasn't alone. How could he have forgotten Thorn? The one he held the closest connection with? He realised how badly his dream had affected him.

I'm sorry Thorn, I didn't mean to block you out like that, I was just so terrified....

Do not worry, all will be well when the sun begins to ascend into the sky. He sent Murtagh soothing thoughts.

Thanks Thorn, I don't know what I'd do without you.

Thorn hummed in his ruby red chest. Murtagh knowing he would be unable to sleep, lit his oil lamp with Brisingr.
He got dressed and began to pack his belongings into Thorn's saddle bags. Thorn kept the connection between them the whole time. Occasionally making comments about something he packed. Murtagh was grateful for the company after his frightful ordeal. Thorn was doing his best to distract him from thoughts of it, but every now and then his thoughts would wander back to it.

Half an hour later he was nearly finished, all he had left to do was add his new purple Elundari to his other eleven.
He held his new heart of hearts in his palm, it had a slight warmth. He felt no hostility from the Elder dragon inside, instead it seemed to feel pity for Thorn and him. He carefully placed it among the others, inside a heavily padded saddlebag. Each Elundari had a protective layer around it to prevent it from shattering.

Finally he had finished packing. He met Thorn out in the wide hall which was lit by burning torches that had been evenly placed along the walls. He put the saddle on Thorn first, once it was strapped to his fiery scales, Murtagh made sure the straps weren't too tight. When he was satisfied, he attached the saddlebags. Thorn was ready to go.
Murtagh swept his dark brown eyes across his room, checking that he hadn't left anything behind. He hadn't. He blew out the lamp and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Are you ready? Thorn asked him

Yeah, are you?

Thorn gave what Murtagh guessed to be a small nod. Murtagh walked down the long hall, Thorn following closely behind.
They reached they main entrance of the castle, the guards opened the doors without questioning them.
Galbatorix must have told them we were leaving today.
Thorn agreed with him.

Outside, a faint glow had begun to spread across the sky, illuminating the buildings. Murtagh climbed up onto Thorn and strapped himself into the saddle. When he was ready, Thorn launched himself into the sky and over the walls surrounding the city.
Finally they were on their way, their hearts filled with hope once again.

Comments and Critic would be appretiated.

Hehe...i like murtagh...nice going...

this is really good.....keep goign with it

Oops, yeah, I usually put thoughts and dragon-rider convo's in italics, but I mustve forgot. I hae it in Italics in the program I type it in, but of course it doesnt show up, and I forget to change it on here. Ill fix it and add another post tonight.

i only read a small part yesterday so i didnt write much but now iv read it all and it is really good!
i like the fact that murtagh does want to be good....makes a bit of contrevercy for some people

Hehe I've always seen Murtagh as being good. Maybe a bit of a bad boy at times, but deffinately not evil. I wanted to try and show that. He just seems to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Having a forsworn as your daddy wouldnt help.....

Owell, heres the next one. I fixed the mind convo's in the second one too.

Chapter 3: Secret Stranger.

After flying for two days straight, Murtagh and Thorn decided to stop for the night. Thorn glided down to a large clearing surrrounded by tall trees. He landed and folded his aching wings against his sides.
Murtagh tired and saddlesore, stiffly climbed off. Halfway down he slipped and fell, landing flat on his back. The impact winded him. Thorn laughed deep in his chest, a terrifying sound that made the birds in the surrounding area take flight.

Murtagh groaned and slowly sat up. Thorn stood there and blinked at him.

Can you get this thing off of me? he sent an image of the saddle.

Murtagh reluctantly got up and went to Thorn's scale covered side. He unbuckled the saddle and heaved it off.
His muscles screamed in protest, but they were ignored and pushed to the side. He carried it a short way away from Thorn and put it down. Thorn stretched like a cat, glad to be free from his burden and then curled up, laying his large head upon the ground.

A large ruby eye followed Murtagh while he set up camp. When he was done he sat down on the grass.
Suddenly his stomach let out a low rumble. He cursed himself for not bringing anything to eat. He stood up and went over to the saddlebags. Quickly, he found the one full of the Elundaries. Gently he picked out a large green one and held it in his hands. He reached out to it with his mind until he made contact. He drained energy from it, refreshing his body and giving him strength. When he was done he discovered that his muscles no longer ached and he was able to move with ease. He placed the Eldunari in with the others and headed over to Thorn who had been watching him the whole time.

I'm going hunting, can you watch over our stuff while I'm away? he asked the young dragon.

Ok, but be quick.

I will

Murtagh walked into the trees. After two minutes of walking he stopped and listened. He reached out with his mind until he found what he was looking for. There were two large rabbits hidding in a bush a metre away. He broke into their minds and felt their fear of the invisible attacker.
Quickly he muttered, "deyja." He blinked as he felt the lights of their minds go out. He quickly found their location and picked them up. He headed back to camp.

As he passed a bush, he heard its leaves rustle, even though there was no wind. He just took it as being another animal until he heard a sneeze. Quickly he dropped the rabbits and unsheathed Zar'roc, the red blade shining in the evening light. Quick as lightning he reached into the bush, his fingers closed around a rough fabric. He pulled.

A young boy of no older than twelve squirmed in his grip. He wore a grubby blue shirt and brown trousers.
His short unwashed hair was light brown, his eyes light blue. He looked quite thin, like he hadn't eaten a decent meal in a while.

"Who are you and what is your purpose?" He demanded
"Who are you to ask?" the boy snapped back.
Murtagh pressed Zar'roc against the boys throat. Suddenly the boy changed tack, fear in his eyes.
"P-please don't hurt me sir!! My name is Brice and I'm travelling around." He had a pleading tone in his voice.
"And why would someone your age be 'Travelling around' alone? Or is there someone else with you?" His dark eyes scanned the surrounding trees. He snapped his eyes back to the boy when he said, "No, I travel alone, and I travel because I have no home or living family."
Murtagh felt pity for him, though he did well to hide it. He didn't know if he could trust him. I'll take him back to camp and see what Thorn thinks.
"I'm going to let you go now, and don't even think about running away, because I will only catch you again." Brice nodded to show he understood and Murtagh released him. He picked up the rabbits and said, "follow me."

When they arrived at their camp, Brice's eyes filled with fear and wonder when he saw Thorn who lifted his head.

Who is this? Thorn questioned

A boy I found in a bush. He says his name is Brice and he's 'travelling around'. I don't know if we can trust him or not. I thought I'd bring him back and see what you think. He answered.

Search his mind and see what his memories show. Thorn said.

Murtagh turned to the boy and said, "I am going to enter your mind and search through your memories to see if what you say is true."
His eyes widened and he said, "Will it hurt?"
"Only if you try to block me out."

Quickly Murtagh dived into his mind, Brice flinched at the contact, although Murtagh was being gentle. Murtagh moved through his mind until he found his memories. He searched through them at a regular pace, lingering on a certain memory now and then.
What he had said was true. Through his memories he saw that 2 years ago his parents and sister had been killed by urgals while he was playing in the woods. He had returned home to find their house burnt to the ground and his family dead. From there he had journeyed across Alagaesia, not stopping in a town for more than 2 days. He had faced many dangers and obstacles. Murtagh admired his courage and was surprised that he had survived so much. He withdrew from the young boys mind and hid behind his own barriers.

Murtagh showed Thorn what he had found. He was just as shocked as he had been.
He's too young to go through that everyday, he thought to Thorn, What he really needs is a home. Maybe we should take him to the Varden, surely someone there could look after him.

I agree with you, he needs a home and the Varden would be the safest place. We will take him with us.

Murtagh turned back to the boy...
_____________________________________________

A few hours later, Murtagh was sat against Thorn's warm side. Brice was curled up, asleep next to a fire. It was dark, the stars and the moon clearly visible in the night sky. A faint breeze blew through the air, causing an occasional rustle in the leaves in the bushes and trees.

How much further till we reach the Varden? Murtagh asked.

Another days flight from what I recall. The Empire's messengers are the only source of information I've had for their location. I'm hoping their reports are accurate. Thorn answered.

I hope we're accepted, and that Eragon can lift these damned oaths. I hate being chained up by those, it feels like I'm losing myself.

I'm sure he'll be able to... as to us being accepted.... I don't know how the dwarves will be, you've heard that they hold grudges for centuries, and the elves wont be too happy with us after we killed their rider.

Yes, but you've forgotten something Thorn.

Ah, of course, that might soften them up a bit. Although we're going to have to fight to earn their respect or trust or however you want to put it.

Nobodys ever going to trust me Thorn. If being Morzan's son isn't enough, now that I've been serving Galbatorix, even though it was because I was forced too, nobody will want to know me, other than the ones who want to kill me.

Have hope Murtagh, I can feel a change coming.

How would you know?

Because I am a Dragon, young rider. I can sense that there is a presence that will enter your life soon, and they will bring you guidance, companionship and maybe something more. They will trust you with their life, and they themselves will be different from others, so they will know how it feels to have others not accept you.

Now you're creeping me out Thorn.

The ruby dragon laughed quietly, so that he didn't wake Brice. Its just part of my race, we are magical creatures, just remember that.

Alright, well I'm going to sleep now.

Goodnight.

Murtagh lay down next to Thorn and pulled a blanket over himself. Try and keep an eye on Brice if you can, I don't want him to run off, I want to take him to Nasuada, she'll sort it out.

Yes, If your brother doesn't try to kill us before that.

Good point.

Get to sleep, you're going to need it.

Yes sir. Murtagh answered mockingly.

Thorn rolled his eyes and started humming. It acted as a lullaby, and
Murtagh was asleep in minutes.

Sleep well my young rider.

Need coments and crit. As well as your thoughts on this.

Ok I reckon its been 24 hours.

Chapter 4: Guarded Dreams

Nasuada stared blankly at the map stretched out across the timber desk. It had been two days since the Varden had captured Feinster. At that very moment the dead were being buried outside the castle walls in a meadow close to the city. She was now trying to devise a plan on how to attack the next city. From what she had last heard, the elves were still launching an attack on Gil'ead, but they were close to success. Eragon and Saphira were deep in grief with the loss of their teachers, she wondered how they were, she hadn't seen them since yesterday morning.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, jolting her back to reality. "Come in," she called.
A second later, one of her guards, the dwarf Harzuln, walked in. He bowed low and then cleared his throat to say, "My lady, there are three elves seeking an audience with you. They say it is of utmost.. importance." The look he gave suggested that he had seen something out of the ordinary.
Nasuada pursed her lips. "Send them in then."
He bowed again and scurried out of the room. Nasuada waited impatiently, wondering what was going on.
She felt them first. A dark cloud of pressure seemed to fil the room, sending in a feeling of danger and darkness. Then she saw them.
The first was a male with wavy brown hair that went down to his jaw, his eyes were a deep violet, and his build was lean but muscular. The second was another male, but with long blonde hair pulled bck into a loose ponytail. He had the same dangerous appearance as the other. Both were tall and cloaked in dark grey, swords at their hips, bows on their backs. The third was what held the greatest impression on Nasuada. A female clad entirely in black, the obvious leader. Short black hair framed her face, running to the edge of her jaw. Her eyes were a brilliant green, and a purple sword was hung at her waist. The only way to truly describe her was evil. She was terrifying, a true servant to the devil.
They stopped a metre away from her desk, the female's face clouding over. She spoke first.
"Greetings Nasuada, I am Adriel, this is Lucian and Lestan. We were sent here by the queen of our race to offer you our services. We have sworn in the ancient language to do your will whatever it may be. If you wish to send us away then we will obey without question. We are all skilled fighters and dangerous opponents, we will stop at nothing to complete our missions, no matter what the circumstance. I will ask yuo now, only once if you will accept our service or turn us away. It is your choice."

Nasuada looked down at her lap, hiding her disbelief. They would be powerful allies to have, and would surely do much for the Varden. Adriel however she didn't trust. That evil air still surrounded her, and she was deffinately different from the other two, or any other being she had met in her lifetime. There was no telling what she could do.
She sighed and looked up. A shadow passed across the elfs face as Nasuada met her gaze, sending a chill through her.
"I have decided that I will accept your services."
"So it shall be then," Adriel said darkly, sealing their deal.
Nasuada then knew who would be the one to remove Murtagh from the playing board.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________



On the fourth night of their journey, Murtagh didn't sleep well. Dark visions flickered across his sight, confusing and twisted. Screaming, fighting, bloodshed and death raced through his mind. He then found himself running through a forest, with only the moonlight to guide him. The dark silhouettes of trees were stripped of their leaves, leaving only twisted trunks and branches. Slowing down, he stopped in a clearing. It was dark here, the moon's light was blocked out by something. A sound to his left caught his attention. Whirling around, he watched as a hooded figure emerged into faint light. It was a woman, of around his age. Raising her pale hands, she pulled back her hood to show all of her face. It was flawless. Her nose straight and angular, full red lips..... But what he noticed the most was her eyes. They were a vibrant green, so much so that they almost seemed to glow. Moving forward, she walked close to him, stopping when their bodies were an inch apart. Putting her hand on the back of his neck, so that the tips of her fingers ran through his hair, she leant in to put her mouth next to his ear. Her breath was cool against his skin, her breathing was regular and slow, unlike his own.
"Murtagh.." she whispered quietly.
"Yes?" He could barely breathe.
"Murtagh...." she sighed. Wrapping her other arm around his middle, she pulled herself up against him, leaving no room between them.
The next thing he knew, she had her lips against his. The kiss was different to what he would expect. It was exciting and had a daring edge to it. Pulling away a minute later, she put her lips next to his ear again and whispered, "We're coming."
Before he could do anything, he found himself awake looking at the night sky. What was that about? he wondered. One thing he did know.
That was no dream, it was a message.
We're coming... a voice whispered on the wind.

its all really good, i very much like the story line ^.^ my only critisism is that i think murtagh seems a little too calm about returning to the varden, if i were him i think i would be scared out of my mind, especially with eragon fighting against me

Yeah, youre probably right Ive had someone else on the other forum say that they think I sort of stuffed up his character a bit.
But when you think about it, now that he has all of his Eldunari, and the black Magic Galbatorix taught him, he might be a bit overconfident. Eragon did only win last time because of the elves, and Murtagh does have another Eldunari (and he couldve been given more after his fight with Eragon, so he might have over one more than he did then.) [So hope that made sense].

Ill give a little spoiler/hint or whatever you want to call it.. . . He's going to go through a massive change soon, so thats probably going to shift his character/views a bit.

mabye you should say that a bit tho...mabye thorn could make a reference to that so it doesnt just look like he doesnt care

Chapter 5: Confrontations and Explanations

After three days of flying, together Murtagh, Brice and Thorn finally reached Feinster, where the Varden were currently camped. Tents surrounded the walls, and were dotted between houses, inside and outside the walls.
They look like a nest of ants, Thorn observed
They do look quite crowded.
They were less than half a league away when they heard an alarm sound to warn the city of their arrival. Two minutes the sound of a terrifying roar reached their ears.
The form of a blue dragon rose above the city, and on its back was the smaller form of her rider.

With another savage roar, Saphira dived at them. Thorn rolled out of the way but the blue dragon managed to put a thin, shallow scrape on the tip of his wing, causing him to growl. Quickly, Murtagh healed it.
Murtagh frantically reached out towards his brothers mind, only to find a solid barrier. No matter how hard he tried, he could not break in.

Thorn! Try to get closer!!
I will try, the ruby dragon answered.
Quickly, he muttered the spell to manify his voice.
"Eragon," he yelled, "Stop!! We don't want to fight you!!!"

Saphira stopped her attack and hovered a few feet away. He felt a presence trying to enter his mind, hoping he wouldn't be hurt, he lowered his barriers and let his brother in.
If you do not wish to fight us then leave!!
Wait! We wish to join you! Did you, or did you not, say that there was a way to change my true name? Murtagh asked.
I did.
Well then can we talk about this on the ground?
Very well. Eragon pulled away from his mind. Murtagh pulled up his own barriers again, and instructed Thorn to land in a grassy field, dotted with trees here and there.

Thorn and Saphira both descended, landing on the ground away from Feinster, but so that the town was still in sight.
As Eragon dismounted, Murtagh turned to Brice and said, "Stay here." The boy nodded, looking pale.
Thorn crouched down pushing himself against the ground. Careful to avoid his sharp spikes, Murtagh jumped down off of his dragon and headed over to where Eragon stood.

They looked at each other for a long time before Eragon spoke, "Are you really willing to change yourself?"
"If it means mine and Thorn's freedom, then yes."
"It would be best if you waited here, now is not the time to go near any dwarves. They all lust for your blood on their hands."
He nodded, expecting it.
Eragon turned and headed back to Saphira. They flew back to Feinster.
While he waited he went back over to Thorn. "You can come down now," he told Brice.
Thorn crouched so he could get down. When Brice was safely down, they sat next to Thorn's scaly side, looking at the landscape.

About half an hour later, Eragon and Saphira returned on foot, but they were not alone. They were accompanied by Nasuada, Angela, Arya and a group of elves, three of which surrounded Nasuada. A black haired female caught his eye, her beauty greater than that of even Nasuada's.
Brice and Murtagh stood, they walked over to them, stopping when they were a metre apart.

Nasuada was the first to speak, "Murtagh, Eragon has told me of your intentions but I must ask, is it really true?"
"Yes," he answered truthfully.
"Hmmm..., then that leaves us in a tricky situation. You cannot camp with us now that the dwarves are out for your blood, and now that Oromis is dead we do not know how to free you as he was the last one that had the knowledge to change true names." said Nasuada thoughtfully.
Memories of the dream he had the other night flashed across his mind. "Have you heard of The Oracle?" He asked her.
"No, what do they have to do with this?"
He explained his dream to them.
"Thats just like what happened when Oromis contacted me!" exclaimed Eragon.
Nasuada turned to Angela, "Have you heard of her?"
"Her name rings a bell somewhere in the back of my mind, maybe in a legend or a story, I do not know. I do know that she must have great power though to have contacted Murtagh in that manner."
They stood there in silence for several minutes, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Murtagh saw that the female elf next to Nasuada looked uncomfortable. He wondered why this was. Suddenly she spoke, breaking the silence. "I know the Oracle. I am her daughter."
Everyone turned to look at her, shocked.

cool.....
you know your putting me to shame rite?

keep going...its really good

i so want that to happen Murtagh is really cool.

Chapter 6: The Truth Behind her Eyes

Adriel stood there feeling nervous and shocked. She could feel everyones eyes on her. She was having a silent fight with her body, trying to force back a blush.

Suddenly the witch, Angela spoke, "Prove it," she said simply.
Adriel was suprised by the comment but quickly recovered with, "In what way do you wish me to prove it?"

"The Daughter of The Oracle is supposed to have a special gift, show us this 'gift' and we will believe you."
"There is no other way?"
"No."
She sighed. "Very well then, I knew the truth would be exposed eventually."

Adriel closed her eyes and stepped forward. She reached into the back of her mind, until she found what she was looking for. Next to the sparkling pool of magic was a green orb of power. She reached out to the green light until she made contact with it, suddenly feeling the energy of nature run through her body.

She opened her eyes and jumped forward. Pushing off from the ground as an elf, landing as a giant, black she-wolf. Her dazzling green eyes turned towards Angela.
She padded over to where the herbalist stood with a shocked expression.
She snarled and showed a row of white, sharp teeth, the hackles on her back standing up. After a full minute, she finally stopped. Rising onto her hind legs, Adriel placed her two front paws on Angela's shoulders, and moved her head so that her her face was an inch from Angela's, teeth bared.
Speaking with her normal voice but through her wolf mouth, she then growled, "Satisfied?"
She watched the witch take a panicky breath and then nod.

"Good." She stepped back landing on all fours and went over to Nasuada where she then shifted into her elven form, fully clothed.
Looking around she noticed that everyone was frozen, all but the red Rider and Nasuada. She knew Nasuada feared nothing, but the rider she knew nothing of. She looked at him and their eyes met. His expression was frustrated, with a hungry, obsessive edge to it. Suddenly a sharp pain went down her spine. She clenched her hands into fists and then quickly looked away.

______________________________________

Murtagh eyed Adriel curiously. How did she do that? he asked Thorn, feeling puzzled.

I know not, you have to ask her yourself.

Do you think she can help us?

Yes

Thorn snorted.

What is it? Murtagh asked.

Never mind.

You're hiding something. Murtagh accused him.

Your point? his dragon answered smugly.

Murtagh sighed and gave up. If Thorn didnt want him to know something. there was no point in trying to get it out of him.

Murtagh continued to stare at her. He was frustrated in the fact that he knew nothing of her. A wild craze seemed to take over him as he studied her.
Sensing his gaze she twisted her head to look at him. When their eyes met, a shiver of electricity went through him, though he didnt move an inch. At the same time he noticed her clench her hands into fists. Seconds later she quickly looked away.
Before he could think about what had happened, Nasuada spoke, "Well that is proof enough for me, never in my lifetime have I seen or heard of such a thing taking place. Tomorrow Adriel, you must take Murtagh and Thorn to your mother. Eragon, Saphira and Arya shall come with you. That is my final decision."

Murtagh saw Adriel, Eragon and Arya nod in turn to show that they understood.
Quickly he spoke, "Also Nasuada, can Brice stay with the Varden?" he motioned towards the pale Brice who stood next to Thorn. "He has nowhere else to go."
Nasuada turned to Brice and gave him a warm smile, "Of course he may stay with us."

"One last thing, where am I staying?"

"Im sorry Murtagh, but both Thorn and yourself must stay out here tonight. I will send Adriel out later with supplies for your journey, she will stay with you tonight to make sure the dwarves don't sneak out of the village and slit your throat during the night." The last bit was directed more to Adriel then him.
They then turned and headed back to Feinster.

_______________________________________

Murtagh was sat against Thorn's muscular side when a magnificent black mare trotted up to them. Murtagh stood and walked over to the fine beast admiring its beauty. He saw a large bundle of items upon its back. He knew it was from Nasuada. He removed the burden from the mare and placed it in Thorn's saddlebags. He turned around, only to find the horse had vanished. He looked at the surrounding land, and saw no sign of it.

"Where did it go?" a voice said behind him, making him jump.
He turned around, Adriel looked at him with an amused expression, though her eyes glittered dangerously.

Thorn was prettending to be asleep.
"Don't do that!" he complained. Her lips twitched like she was going to smile.
Then he remembered the events from earlier today. Of course. The black mare had been Adriel. He should have looked at its eyes.

She sat on the grass covered earth, looking at him. He lowered himself to the ground next to her. He gazed at the sunset, admiring its beauty. The sky was splashed with pink and red, the clouds had turned a dazzling shade of bright orange.
"Beautiful isnt it?" said Adriel next to him.
"Yes, it is, but not as beautiful as you." He answered, turning a brilliant shade of red as he realised what he had said.
He stole a glance at her, she had a sad smile on her face.

She must have sensed his embaressment, because she changed the subject saying, "How did you come to meet Eragon and what has happened since then? I haven't payed much attention to the happenings of the outside world. I have always been too focused on my missions."
Glad of the change of subject, Murtagh told her how he had come to leaving Uru'baen, how he met Eragon, and what had happened since. He left out private things including certain conversations and magic that Galbatorix had taught him. A shadow crossed over her face, making her look twice as dangerous.

She looked out towards the setting sun and said, "You've been through alot, yet still you fight on."

"It was hard," he said in a choked tone. "If I fail, I would rather die than be stuck in that madmans service for the rest of my existence."

"You wont fail." she said
"What makes you so sure?" he asked curious

"I know many things," she answered, "Mainly what my mother has told me, and not only that, you're different from alot of other people I've met over the years. Something tells me that you wont give in as easily as you think you might."
He frowned. "Anything can happen though."

"Expect the unexpected," she whispered. Suddenly she rose.
"You better get some sleep, we've got a long way to go."

Murtagh nodded. He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. Going over to Thorn he stretched out beside him.
Within minutes he was asleep.
C+C???

dude i love this some much i've subscribed to it you are a dam good storyteller.

its really good....i like the idea of Adriel....
its diferent...^.^

Thanks Guys. Heres the next one....

-----------------------------------------

[color="#FFFFFF"]Chapter 7: Another Journey

Murtagh woke from his sleep when the first rays of sunlight pierced the sky. Slowly, he sat up, looking at his surroundings. Thorn, still asleep, was curled up in a ball next to him, the glow of the sunrise making his red scales appear to be on fire. Looking to his right he saw Adriel sitting upright, legs crossed. Her face was glowing with a magnificent pink glow, making her look stunning. Sensing him looking, she turned her head to face him.

"Didn't you get any sleep?" he asked her, frowning slightly.
"No, you seem to have forgotten that us elves do not need sleep."
"But you're....." He couldn't find a word to describe her.
"I'm different? Yes, I guess I do still need sleep because of my ability, but because I'm still technically an elf, I can go days without a wink of sleep and still be ready to fight."
"Hmm I'll remember that next time."

"Are you ready to leave?" she asked, "Saphira and the other two are on their way."
"Already? But its so early." he said, yawning.
"It'll be better to get an early start, its a long way and the sooner you're away from the dwarves, the safer you'll be."
Murtagh grumbled a reply of agreement and went over to Thorn.
Hey, wake up sleepy head!

Thorn opened his eyes and growled to show his displeasure. Murtagh smiled.

Why so early? grumbled Thorn

Murtagh relayed what Adriel had said.

She's right I guess. The sooner we get you away from the dwarves the better, but I dont know what we'll said Thorn.

Murtagh picked up Thorn's saddle and strapped it to his strong back. After securing the saddlebags he turned to Adriel who had gotten to her feet.
"We're ready," he said simply.
"Good, they're here."
She was right, Saphira's blue form was visible less than a league away. Within the minute, she was swooping down to them, her powerful blue wings flapping as she landed.
Eragon looked down at them from her back. "Are you ready?"asked Arya as she gazed down at them, her hand around his waist.
"Yes," Adriel and Murtagh both said at the same time.
"Good, then let us be off." said Eragon

Murtagh went over to Thorn's side and climbed up into the saddle.
"Murtagh, would Thorn be able to carry two?" asked Adriel, looking up at him, bright green eyes sparkling.
"Can't you...."
"Yes but I would become tired after a few hours, flying takes alot more energy than you would think."
"Very well," he said.
Gracefully, she climbed up and sat behind him, placing her arms around his middle. His body warmed at the contact, making him faintly blush. Thorn toothily grinned and laughed in Murtagh's mind.

Oh shut up and get going! snapped Murtagh

Still smiling, Thorn pushed off from the ground, Saphira following closely behind.
"Where do we have to go?" Murtagh shouted over the noise of the dragons' flapping wings.
Adriel sent him directions through a mental link. He showed them to Thorn who tilted his wings, changing direction
slightly.

______________________________________

Later when the sun had almost completed its descent, the two dragons dived down and landed in a field.
Murtagh felt Adriel remove her arms and carefully climb down from Thorn's side. Saddle sore and tired, Murtagh dismounted, being careful not to slip.

Eragon and Arya were off of Saphira. Eragon was collecting wood for a fire, while Arya went searching for fruit nearby.
Murtagh watched Adriel go over to a green patch of grass and sit. He removed Thorn's saddle and put it to the side. Free of his burden Thorn stretched and then curled up into a ball.

Finally, Eragon had the fire started and Arya had returned, sitting next to Eragon and Adriel who were sitting in front of the fire. After making sure his Elundaries were safe, Murtagh joined them, sitting next to Adriel.
They ate their meal in silence, Adriel and Murtagh had stewed rabbit, while Eragon and Arya had mix of fruit and vegetables. Murtagh was amazed at how they could live on only that, and no meat. It seemed unnatural.

When they were finished, Eragon said, "So where does The Oracle live?"
"Deep within the Spine, next to the Twilight Falls." Adriel replied.
"Is it far?" asked Eragon.
"It's a bit further than Teirm."
Twilight Falls? thought Murtagh. He had never heard of it, and as to The Spine he dreaded going in there, he had heard many stories about it. Anyone who went in there suffered a terrible fate.

They spent a few hours discussing it, until Murtagh felt himself falling asleep. "I'm going to bed," he announced.
"Arya and I can take the first watch." offered Adriel
Eragon, also appearing tired, mumbled a reply and walked over to Saphira.
Murtagh went over to the saddlebags and took out his bedroll. After rolling it out, he climbed into it, getting comfortable.
"Goodnight," said Adriel. Her face was the last thing he saw before falling asleep.[/color]

good but you need to deal with eragon and murtagh more for want of better words they need to sit down and have a good chin wag about everything.

i agree with ^^^

plus i think a little more detail would be helpful...you know...pain a picture in you head...that sort of thing

why have you stopped i want more!!!!

ye wheres the rest.....

Hi guys, sorry I havent posted. I havent been home for a couple of weeks, and Im actually on a friends pc right now so I dont have the next chapter with me. Ill post as soon as I get back, but I wont promise a time as I have no idea when that will be.

oh ok...dats cool

Ok, I've decided to totally fix/redo it. Some parts I'll just be re-wording and adding more description, and other parts will be totally edited.

If you look back, chapter one has been modified, mainly just Thorns way of speaking and description/wording. Nothing too OTT.

I just looked back to see what is going on and all I can come up with is "top job mate!"

*yawns* Ok, Ive changed chapter 4. 2 and 3 didn't really need to be changed, it was just mainly Adriel that was important. Go back and read it, its on page 1. If you have any crit for it then just put it after this post.
Thats it for now, Im hitting the sack.