started a new one


Prolog

“My daughter, I am leaving the empire in your hands. I believe you can be trusted much better than your younger brother. Now Leyanna, I must leave you and your brother. I love you very much, and tell your brother I feel exactly the same about him.”
Leyanna held her fathers hand, sobbing, until he finally left the world to join the heavens.

Chapter 1

Leyanna awoke on the day of her Coronation to the throne with a huge headache.
She remembered her father’s last words, the part about her brother, ‘You can be trusted more than your brother.’ She knew this was true, her brother, Clenter, couldn’t even be trusted with a grain of sand. Yet still she wondered why her father had even said that.

After hours of preparation, Leyanna was ready to become Empress. She went quickly out to the horses that would carry her to the old church that had been used for Coronations ever since the first Emperor, Manic Vernae.

It was time for her entrance, she stepped into the hall and all eyes were on her. She wasn’t bothered though, she got that all the time when she was with her father, the late Emperor of Solona.
Her dress trailed gracefully behind her as she made her way down. She kept reciting her lines as she walked towards the front.
When she got up to the alter, she said what she had been practicing all day yesterday and on the ride here:

“Nobles and peasants, Elves and Humans alike,
I am, quite unfortunately, here to take the place
of my father, the late Emperor Rentor. All I
wish is for you to accept me as you had my father
and his ancestors before him. I know it is not
customary for the daughter to take the
crown, but my father was less traditional
than the Emperors before him. I look
forward to being you ruler, I will rule as
well as my father had before me. Thank you”

As she finished, applause erupted throughout the church. All Leyanna had to do now was put on the crown. It was gorgeous, the colors of Solona (dark blue and green). It had little gemstones inlaid in the gold.

im gonna fill all that in later [and Solona is the name of the Empire not the late Emperor]

i havnt had time to write more but i hav a good idea of wat the story line will be ;like

kk...ill try to transfer it to my comp so ill have more time yto work on it

Very cool Chimra

this actually isn't the real one, thats on my other comp, its much much better, longer prolog and stuff

good. the story is definitely engaging, but that little thing could never be called an actual chapter. It's much too short. What I would suggest is that you add more detail to it. That's exactly the problem I had with my story, A Great Flame. But once I did add detail to it, it was much longer and the story as a whole was more engaging to the reader (aka, my grandmother). It would also be best if you somehow ingrained a deeper message into the story. All the great novels and short stories have a deeper message in it, like a message to all humankind. One thing I have learned over the years is that nothing is as it seems. A movie isn't just a movie. A novel isn't just a novel. So, a story cannot be just a story if you want it to be truly remembered forever. Otherwise, very engaging and I can't wait to see the finished product.

(mental note) I should put the revised version of A Great Flame in here. Then people would like it.