i was just wondering what the general opinion was of this short story that i wrote a long time ago.

in a small town, there was a woman who's hand's were so badly scared from a fire that it left her with one that was unusable. and like most people who are different, thea recieved many stare's. people whispering behind thier hands, saying "that poor woman!" or "look at those hands!" many people shied away from thea, afraid to be touched by her or to touch her.
but what most people dont know is the story behind thea's scar's. yes, there is a story and like all stories it can be placed into a catagory. but what that is , i'll let you decide.


Thea's childhood was not what you would call a typical childhood. Her mother, having never wanted her, rarely paid thea any attention. And her father was drunk more often than he worked. But there was one great shining light in thea's life, her grandparents. elizabeth and spencer reddeer showered thea with love. and every sunday you would find thea sitting with her grandparents in church.

at age 8 thea lost her parent's in a car accident and went to live with her grandparents. even though her parent's hadn't shown her love , tucked her into bed at night or even said i love you, thea still cried for her parent's. after a time thea's heart did heal and as all children do she grew into a young woman. soon it was time for thea to choose a college, and when she did she chose to go to applied life christian college. she wanted to earn her degree to be a youth pastor.

more to come if ya'll liked it. let me know please

this is going well, keep writing!

time went on and thea was getting close to realizing her dream. as life or fate often plans it there came an unexpected turn. thea met charles. charles was unlike any one thea had ever met. he was darkly handsome, at 6' 2" black hair and emerald green eyes. he had an air of class and sophistication that spoke of long standing wealth. but despite all that he was humble, giving , selfless and outspoken. and when charles looked at thea, he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever come across. thea was the exact opposite of charles in looks. she stood at just 5' 2" blonde hair and brown eyes. but in temperment's they were evenly matched.

as most people tend to do, they kept each other firmly in the "just friends" zone. but to those who knew them and even those who didn't , it was obvious that they would not remain in that zone for long. by the time final exams had come and gone, charles had started his courtship of thea. most people thought the idea of a "courtship" to be old fashioned. but charles, believes in God as does thea, and they both wanted to stay true to thier beliefs.

thanks saphira 12 for your feed back. i really appreciate it. i would like for u to tell me if the rest is good too.

its just a short story that i came up with years ago and thought i might shake the dust off and see if it could be expanded

I have to say the story itself is good and I don't want to be overly harsh but I have some feedback. I agree with Silverwolf Strider on capitalization and your grammar. The only other thing is that the courtship in the story is explained as religious. I am not christian and don't know that much but I'm pretty sure courting someone isn't religious, it's just old fashioned.

i can capatilize the things that need to be, no problem with that. the grammer part - never a good part for me even in school lol

the courtship may have been taken as religious but its not. ur right about that. its just old fashioned and wonderfull idea. i wish more people would do that. im the type of person that loves seeing a little old couple walking together, holding each others hand.

I think it is pretty cute. Especially since it's so uncommon.

thank you gomensigh. i havent been in to write any more of it because of the holidays. but hopefully i can get back to it once things have calmed down a bit.

keep going with the story, i'd like to see where this goes!

arya ~ yes thats exactly what i was trying to say lol my faith plays a large part in my life and i wanted it to reflect in this story

glad u got it in one guess lol